does your doctor yell at you?

poet_kelly
on 2/1/12 12:18 pm - OH
Sometimes I see posts where people say their doctor yelled at them (for eating the wrong things, for smoking, for not taking their vitamins, whatever) or people say they are afraid to go to an appointment because they are afraid their doctor will yell at them (for not losing enough weight, for not taking vitamin, for drinking coffee, whatever).

And that always bothers me.  I'm guessing that at least some of these people don't really mean that their doctor yells at them.  Maybe they mean he lectures them or tells them they are doing the wrong thing or making bad choices or something.  I hope that's what they mean.

I think it would be terribly inappropriate and unprofessional for a doctor to yell at a patient.  If we are doing something that is bad for our health, then our doctor should absolutely explain that to us.  But it should not be done in a verbally abusive, intimidating way.

So.  Does your doctor yell at you?  Or scold you in a mean way, or anything like that?  And if so, why is he still your doctor?

View more of my photos at ObesityHelp.com          Kelly

Please note: I AM NOT A DOCTOR.  If you want medical advice, talk to your doctor.  Whatever I post, there is probably some surgeon or other health care provider somewhere that disagrees with me.  If you want to know what your surgeon thinks, then ask him or her.    Check out my blog.

 

LJ1972
on 2/1/12 12:21 pm - FL
My surgeon has been nothing but wonderful. If he wants to "scold" me he does so in a professional, friendly "I care about you" way. He picks on me when I say I don't think the surgery worked because I was losing slow.

My primary doc is even kinder than my surgeon. The meanest thing he has done was when I went in a couple of weeks before surgery he came in looking very serious and somber and told me he had some concerns and I needed to answer some questions before he gave his "blessing" for me to have surgery. he is a jokester so I knew what was coming!! (he asked questions like what side of a tiger is his stripes on? outside)
MONICASNEWLIFE
on 2/1/12 12:31 pm
only if he wants to get smacked.. hahaha jk...

my pcp has scolded me  and to be honest i felt upset and i felt that i was a huge failure and it made me ashamed... but i truly could understand the reason she scolded me... after all she is my dr and my health depends  on her diagonisis and in me following it... if i go in to her office and i tell her that i really havent been following her order and i been eating sweets and out, after she told me that i need to lose weight because of my diabetes and i havent done anythign she suggested... that must be frustrating to her who became a dr to help us and we are not doing what she asked us to do to be healthier..maybe she starts to feel like a failure as a dr.  and that upsets her ...and  in turn she scolds us because she feels we are acting like a child who is told to do something and doesnt...

so yeah even if she scolds me she is not doing it because she is mean and thats how she gets her kicks she is doing it because she wants me to understand  that not following my dr order can effect my health...
 so im ok with the scolding.. but yelling no thanks.. i wont put up with that...
"Caterpillar in my cocoon, I'm gonna be a butterfly soon.
  I'm a little butterfly, I can soar through the sky. So glad I ended up like this, Thanks to metamorphosis".


hw 286 pre op 276 sw 263 cw 214  13lbs lost pre-op slowly but surely!!    
poet_kelly
on 2/1/12 12:35 pm - OH
I'm sure it's frustrating for doctors when patients don't do as they are told.  I used to be a social worker and it sometimes frustrated me when my clients did not take my advice.  I never scolded them, though.

Do you think a doctor could help you understand that not following her advice can affect your health without scolding you?  Or is scolding the only way that will get through to you?

View more of my photos at ObesityHelp.com          Kelly

Please note: I AM NOT A DOCTOR.  If you want medical advice, talk to your doctor.  Whatever I post, there is probably some surgeon or other health care provider somewhere that disagrees with me.  If you want to know what your surgeon thinks, then ask him or her.    Check out my blog.

 

Jenspunky
on 2/1/12 12:32 pm
RNY on 01/16/12

My doctor is awesome.  I picked him because I found him easy to talk to.  That hasn't changed.  :)


~Jenna 
RNY 1/16/12

Carla M.
on 2/1/12 12:34 pm

My surgeon has never yelled at me. He avoided questions like the plaque, but never yelled. I have since changed doctors to a different surgeon in his group and am much happier.

I've been lectured before, but in a professional manner. I hate it. It FEELS like he's yelling at me, but in reality, he's just giving me the cold, hard truth. I think that hearing things that we know we've done wrong and having someone point it out to you can make it feel like we're getting yelled at.

poet_kelly
on 2/1/12 12:37 pm - OH
I know what you mean about feeling like you're getting yelled at even if you're not.

Do you think it's possible, though, to give someone the cold, hard truth without scolding them?  Or without lecturing them?  Or without making them feel like they are being yelled at?

View more of my photos at ObesityHelp.com          Kelly

Please note: I AM NOT A DOCTOR.  If you want medical advice, talk to your doctor.  Whatever I post, there is probably some surgeon or other health care provider somewhere that disagrees with me.  If you want to know what your surgeon thinks, then ask him or her.    Check out my blog.

 

Carla M.
on 2/1/12 12:43 pm

Good question! I don't know? It's hard to say since it's based on someones perception and not actual fact. I guess it depends on self esteem, the amount of shame that a person's feeling, how their day went that day, etc. I know that it seems worse the more shame I feel about a particular matter.

poet_kelly
on 2/1/12 12:50 pm - OH
You're right, and you can't necessarily control how another person feels.  When I was a social worker, I bet I could have made clients feel bad or feel shame if I wanted to, but I tried not to do that.  I think sometimes some clients felt bad anyway; some were extremely sensitive to that kind of thing and if you gently pointed out that "That might not have been the best decision" they may have perceived it as if you were yelling at them and calling them stupid.

View more of my photos at ObesityHelp.com          Kelly

Please note: I AM NOT A DOCTOR.  If you want medical advice, talk to your doctor.  Whatever I post, there is probably some surgeon or other health care provider somewhere that disagrees with me.  If you want to know what your surgeon thinks, then ask him or her.    Check out my blog.

 

Bettisima
on 2/1/12 12:42 pm
Yes and no. My surgeon is very supportive when I ask for help. He is great when you say I got off track and I am getting back on track. If you are taking accountability for your choices and seeking help, because you are struggling, he is absolutely amazing.

But OMG if you completely ignore all of the post op guidelines you were given pre op, the man can do some serious tough love conversations. I have never been directly on the receiving end, but attended a motivational post op seminar with him. I dont see his behavior as negative. It really is tough love.
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