What I wish I'd known before surgery...

Happy Baker:

I'm not saying that you SHOULD cancel the surgery, only that it MIGHT not be a bad idea.

I looked over some of your other posts, and I see that you have two kids (16 months and 6 years) and that your husband won't be back from deployment for another year. I don't know your BMI, but the lack of any comorbidities is very significant.

Even in the best of worlds, where you come out of this with NO bad side effects, and can successfully lose the weight rapidly, it is still a LOT of work. Perhaps too much for an (effectively) single mother with two little ones.

I know how badly you want this, so I'm not going to be the one to tell you not to do it. Instead, my suggestion is to ASK YOUR DOCTOR about delaying it until a while after your husband has returned.

(By the way: Yesterday you mentioned that you had begun this process with one particular surgeon, but he is booked to the end of the year, and you're concerned because you can't find any info about the associate who you're scheduled to be cut by on Feb 15. Maybe this is an opportunity to get your preferred surgeon?)

Good luck!

I think I'm okay. I was kind of stuck inside my own head last night and got myself second guessing everything from pancakes to Thursday.

I am contacting my surgeon's office today to get information on him. I know his credentials are excellent, but I don't *know* him. To be truthful, I don't really know the first surgeon, either, but he was the one whose introductory seminar and support group I attended, so he was the first face I saw, and I think I attached somewhat, for no real logical reason. He is also the lead surgeon, and has been a member of this hospital for many years, whereas mine came to Barnes just a couple years ago, so he doesn't have as much of an established reputation yet. But the HOSPITAL'S reputation (Barnes Jewish) is stellar. So I know I'm in good hands.

I hate the word "blessings" when people talk about being in a good situation. The God I believe in wouldn't "bless" me with the good things I have and yet deny those things to others who truly need and deserve them, so I won't call them blessings in that context. But I am very fortunate. I'm in a really good place in regards to my own self esteem, and I have a strong support network. My aunt is taking a week off of work to watch my children, and my mother will be staying with me while I recover. It's actually kind of fortunate that my husband won't be here. The timing is good. I love him, but he gets meddlesome when he's worried. He has to be in charge, and he gets cranky when he can't be. I don't want anyone else in charge. That's the whole point of this--I want to take charge of my own life and do something for ME. I spend all my time worrying about everyone else--my kids, my husband, my job, my dog--I want to be able to do something just for me. I don't have any comorbidities right now that I know of, but I can feel them coming if I don't get ahold of this. I don't want to wait until I AM sick and miserable to do something about it.

I think I'm just overstudying. I'm letting peoples' personal experiences color the way I see my own situation, and we are all very different, coming from different places with different experiences and different motives. So I shouldn't compare. Nik said it well--we don't fight for things that aren't important. And this whole process was a fight for me. Nothing about it went smoothly. I got very afraid last night that perhaps I was being ungrateful. That maybe this process was so difficult because perhaps God was guiding me away from it. But a friend offered up another perspective--perhaps it's a test. A test to see if I WOULD fight for it. Do I see myself as something worth taking care of, and if so, am I willing to do it? I've fought my way through red tape, loopholes, insurance snafus, miscommunications, lost paperwork, two physician changes, and a colorful array of tests. I've come this far. I'd probably regret it if I turned back now.

Keeves, from your profile pic, I'd guess you're familiar with the concept of tikkun olam, yes? It's one that I hold very dear to my heart. But it's hard to go forth and help repair the world if I can't even repair myself. So I think that needs to be my first priority.

Tikkun olam, yes indeed! And you have your priorities straight, too: First yourself, then your family, and then the rest of the world.

I'm glad to hear that yesterday was out of the ordinary, and that you're getting back together. These last weeks are real crazy on the brain, as many others here can attest. And the last days will (probably) be even worse. Wouldn't it be great if we could just pop some valium or something and wake up two weeks from now in the recovery room? :-) Just joking!

Anyway, good luck, and hoping to hear more good news!

HI, I tried to friend you so I could PM you but you were blocked to me.  I see that you are in IL and that you are going to Barnes... By chance are you near Scott?  If you want freind me, I am in that area, we can chat, I have been where you are. :)

You can PM anyone you want to - just press the "Contact" button under one of their posts!

I appreciate all of this...  and it's good to know that some if not most of the expectations we put on ourselves don't turn out the way we expect them too...  and the constant struggles...  my Phych eval apt warned me about the daily struggles and the daily efforts that would require me to constantly make good choices...  sure a slip up once in awhile if your pouch can tolerate it...  but to jump right back on...  You know, reading posts from the (popular) group...  the ones who constantly provide encouragement and support and have the knowledge and experience of WLS is a reminder that you all are human beings; not human machines...  thanks for always keeping this real... 

Thank you all for your answers! I have recently wondered the same thing. I am just looking into this surgery after yo yoing for many many years. I am also aware of my food issues, and have regained so many times, I am very scared I'll go through this and regain through this. That would suck so bad.

Before researching, I did think this was more of a sure thing to weight loss than before. Glad I am educating myself.....but still scary none the less.

Well technically it *is* a sure thing to weight loss. Barring very unusual cir****tances, you WILL lose weight after WLS. Keeping it off? Another matter altogether!

Aside from the mental fights you have, how is it different than the last times you couldn't keep the weight off without the surgery?

 Please see my post for an idea of the medical and surgical things you might face.Some are weight loss related but many are due to the surgery itself.