poll about food addiction

I guess I am the freak but I am firmly convinced that I am addicted to certain carbs and refined sugar.  I base this on the fact that I am a recovering alcoholic and that alcohol turns into sugar in the system.  I believe I am addicted to sugar, plain and simple.  I also believe I am addicted to refined carbs.  Of this I have no doubt.  I remember the first time I stopped eating sugar.  I was about 21 years old and I had never in my life not eaten things with sugar.  Not long after wards I broke out with a rash all over my body.  I went to the doctor and he couldn't find any reason for it so he asked me if I had changed my diet and I told him I stopped eating sugar and he said it was the toxins working their way out of my system.  I have had that experience since then when I have detoxed off of sugar.
I don't care if anyone else believes you can be addicted to certain foods or not, I just know myself and how I react.  I know that I ate very self destructively, I caused myself a lot of physical and emotional pain and I could not stop even though it was ruining my life.
I know that for me there is no moderation with certain foods, only complete abstinence.  It is the same with alcohol.  It is very black and white for me.  I can't have just one small drink.  Many can with no repercussions.  I can't.  I also have the experience that when I am abstinent from certain foods I no longer crave them or want them.  Like the alcohol, when I don't ingest those things I can take them or leave them.  It is when I try to have just a little that I become obsessed with having it and trying to control how much of it I eat and when I will eat and it pretty much takes over my life, whereas if I don't eat those things I hardly ever give it a second thought.  I have had no occassions where I have been tempted to have those things or had to fight with myself not to eat those things.  I have already made them off limits and I don't question or challenge that decision.
I also believe I am addicted to eating large quantities of food.  There is something in my brain that is afraid I won't get enough.  I have to have more.  Too much is not enough.  WLS has helped me with that, at least for now, but I still fight the urge every day to have more, it still feels like I am not getting enough food.  My favorite words in the world were "All you can eat".
I compare it to my gambling addiction.  Yes, I am a freaking mess of addictions.  I always say that if something I did, ate, swallowed or put into my body made me feel good for one minute or helped me escape my reality for one minute I would become addicted to it.  Except exercise and housework.  Anyway, obviously there is nothing physical that I am taking into my body but when I gamble my body chemistry changes and certain hormones are released and I am addicted to the hormones that are released when I gamble.
I really don't know if I have ever been officially diagnosed with food addiction but it wouldn't matter if a panel of experts told me I wasn't.  I know myself and my behavior and I have spent years trying to convince myself that I could handle it and eat like a normal person.  I even out ate a very malabsorptive procedure, even though the side effects of the way I was eating made my life a living hell.  No, there is no question.  I am addicted to food.
If I had any question all I have to do is look at my daughter.  She is a compulsive over eater and is exactly how I was when I was practicing my addiction.  If you deny her food she becomes very nasty and abusive.  She is always afraid that she will be hungry and eats to prevent hunger, instead of satisfy her hunger.  She always has to have a big portion.   She will not eat a normal portion of food because she knows it would never satisfy her.  She wants desperately to be thin but doesn't want to stop eating in order to lose weight.
As far as seeking treatment, I was actively involved with OA for years and I still attend 12 step meetings.  For me, that is my treatment for my addictions.  I have also been involved with counseling for  years and of course I address my addictions there, too.

 Thanks for sharing this.  I think it demonstrates very well the distinction between addiction and emotional eating, and I think it will also show people how strong the connection is between one addiction and another (and why some people experience transfer addictions after WLS).

Lora

Don't get me wrong, I was an emotional eater as well as being addicted.  No question I ate to avoid feelings.  That is why in 12 step programs we say it is a 3 part problem, physical, emotional and spiritual and all have to be addressed.
I am well versed in transfer addiction.  I think they say it's like switching seats on the Titanic.
For me it is like a game of Whack a Mole.  As soon as I knock down one of those suckers three more pop up.  I hope I have addressed the ones that have appeared but who knows?  Maybe there are some new ones that I haven't thought of yet.

1. I don't think, I know. I am powerless over food. Only a power greater than myself (in my case God through Jesus Christ) has been able to restore me to sanity.

2. No. I came this realization by myself. It wasn't easy to accept but I've always been a practical person. if the writing is on teh wall I read it.

3. I participate in OA, here on OH, my support groups and just day-to-day coping mechanisms. I've learned to verbalize my addictions (like today I posted a poll on the BF wall, just wondering if any other post-ops ever feel how I feel nearly every second of every day. The poll read: "Like if you can relate to this statement. "I want to want to eat.") That's how I feel nearly 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. I'd give my right arm to NOT want to want to eat.

Addictions are not something you are cured of. They are something you manage. I think the one post got me a bit rattled because most folks don't know the damage and devastation of true addiction. When you are powerless over something it's not necessarily just because the addiction is that strong but because you are that weak (not in a demeaning way, meaning you haven't recognized the strength you have to overcome your addiction). That's not an easy pill to swallow and those who deal with addiction deal with several more layers of thoughts, obsessions and neuroses than the average person and, from my casual observation, than the average non-food addict post-op.

But...I'm stepping off my soapbox now. I don't want to insult anyone else's process. But food addiction after wls is tough. And it's different for us than it is for non-addicts. And I pray some day that someone finds a way to help us face our unique challenges.

Well said Lady Tazz!



Yes, I am addicted to food.



Yes, my therapist believes me to be one of the worst cases he has seen. He is the best in my area and very experienced. When he met me almost 2 years ago and prior to my WLS, my entire world revolved around eating and the high I got from this act. I ate huge portions as well as "secret food". Late at night, I would drive around the corner to the gas station and buy 2 hot dogs and eat them in the parking lot, throw the trash away and go home to snack with my husband-----this is just one example of my eating. Like Lady Tazz's daughter I became abusive and mean if food was withheld from me at anytime.

I come from a long line of addicts, with food being just one of the vices. In addition to the addiction, I learned early in life that food was a comfort and friend to me.

Until my RNY, I was a prisoner of this addiction, it dominated everything in my life.



I am currently in individual therapy and 2 group therapy settings---it comes out to 1 meeting weekly. Through this process, I have started to learn to identify my triggers, recognize my behavior patterns and begin to place "helps" and strategies around myself. I am also getting better at confronting life and dealing with reality through my therapy.



I can't believe all that I was missing----the world around me has become so much richer and bigger than I ever imagined now that I am gaining some control over my behavior. However, it is not easy and I can never stop fighting . . .



Thanks for posting Kelly

Oh the secret food. I know that well. I catch myself doing it sometimes. I'll open a cupboard door to take a nibble and tell myself "it's just cuz I don't want to hear so-and-so's mouth..."

Justication, thy name is Nikki!

Both of my parents were alcoholics as is one of my sisters. My younger brother has used "grass" since he was a teenager--I've been told I have addictive traits--I would say my drug of choice has been food. For treatment I've tried all the usual weight loss groups--W.W.'s Tops,  the one with the 12 step program (whose name just went right out of my head !!), one church sponsored group that thought prayer was the answer (mine must not have gotten through), every diet that graced the front cover of any magazine, Slim Fast ( actually like doing that one) and even starvation. I'm going to be 67 years old in June--I've wasted enough of my life with being heavy and so called diets--I AM READY for a ---dare I say permanent--weight loss solution--notice I DID NOT say easy--I know it will take work but just the idea that some of my very serious health problems will be lessened makes the whole thing worth it to me.

I have a very addictive personality and I'm also very prone to strong habits and routines. I have been addicted to cigarettes and have kicked the habit.

I do not believe that I am addicted to food and this is why.

1. I would have lied, cheated and stole for cigarettes.
2. I would have put smoking before my husband and children.
3. I had physical symptoms of withdrawal from nicotine

None of those are true of food. I didn't mourn food and I don't feel like there is a hole in my life that food used to fill.

I do believe that food addiction exists but I don't believe I have it.