Ashamed
I'm almost 4 years out since my RNY and up until a year ago I was doing well. But 2011 was an awful year: my sister-in-law was diagnosed with breast cancer, my mom died and one of my son's best friends died. It was a very stressful year and I have handled it terribly. I'm so ashamed - I've put on about 35 lbs and can't seem to get myself under control. My biggest change has been lack of exercise. After my surgery I was walking every day - no excuses - and now I don't walk at all. Although I haven't gone back to all of my bad eating habits, I still eat way too much especially carbs. I even eat candy now which I hardly ever did even before my surgery. So I'm reaching out to anyone who's been in a similar situation or can provide me with boost I need to get myself back on track. I'm so scared to go back to the way I was before. Please help me!!
Frankly, I think you're being a bit hard on yourself.
YES, you backslid into some less-than-great eating patterns and behaviors.
And YES, you need to get that under control.
But you are human. And fallible. As are the rest of us.
So the first thing I'd encourage you to do is drop the shame. It impedes the process of taking responsibility and moving forward. Shame is something we try to hide or bury. It makes us recoil from people and things that can help us. Forgive yourself for the past year and resolve to make THIS year better.
Now...having said that, I need to dust off yet another of my grandma's famous sayings.
"Ain't nothin' to it but to do it."
That is to say, if you want to start walking again, go take a walk. DO NOT make any statement resolving to walk every day for a week or a month. Just go take a walk today.
And if you want to start eating better, decide now when and what your next meal will be. DO NOT make any statement resolving to never eat carbs or to do only protein shakes or anything crazy like that. Just plan your next meal. That's all.
Why? Because small and achievable goals work better than big, lofty ones. It's ok to have a long-term goal (to get back to your lowest weight) but it takes a million little goals to get you there. Focusing on them, and letting yourself be empowered by each one you achieve, will help move you toward your bigger goal.
You still have the tools to lose the weight. I am in a similar place to you. I had some regain. But I won't let shame take me down and don't you do it either!
Keep fighting for yourself. You are worth it.
Take it one day at a time, even one meal at a time. Try to cut out carbs little by little. Just say, "I'm not going to eat bread at lunch" This makes it more managable.
You can totally take off 35 lbs. It won't come off as fast as it did 4 years ago, but it will. You have caught this before it got to out of control so that is a good thing. Stop being ashamed! I cheat and eat candy too sometimes. My assistant brought cherry m&m's to class yesterday and I had to threaten her to put them away!
Stay on the board, it keeps you motivated, especially when you hear how excited people are when they get their surgery date, it reminds you that YOU HAVE HAD IT! It stills works for you if you work it