SOMETHING PERSONAL

I recieved a letter from someone who I thought was my best friend, shes the god mother to my children. She was my family 100%......

She said some really mean things to me. She in a nut shell said I have done nothing with my life and I make excuses for everything.. Im blown away that, that is how she views me. She thinks that my 4 children are excuses. I told her she will understand one day since she has no responsabilities at all. No children, no bills, still lives with her and dad who still take care of her in every way. She has no idea how to run a washer and dryer or the dish washer ( not even exaggerating, she really doesnt). She was really mean and it hurts so bad to think she thinks of me like that and she says this is the new her. So I choose to morn the person who used to be and say good bye to the new her... I can never look at her the same or feel free to talk to her again. I could never be the same with her.....

My heart hurts so bad...........

All I want is some chocolate ice cream with brownies in it.....

THIS KILLS ME BECAUSE TODAY I FINALLY GOT MY ENERGY BACK AND MY MOTIVATION TO BEAT THIS WALL OF NOT LOOSEING WEIGHT AND THIS HAPPENS AND I WANNA CRAWL BACK IN MY WHOLE. I DONT WANNA GET FAT AGAIN SO I WONT BUT IT HURTS BAD.....

Boy, with friends like that...
And she lives with her parents? Sounds like she has done a lot with her life *insert sarcastic font here*
Please don't take anything she said to heart.  I have 5 kids and there is nothing harder.  I used to look forward to going to work for a break.  She doesn't have a clue.
If you can make some protein ice cream and treat yourself without guilt.  If you don't have an ice cream maker (buy one!) then make a decadent protein shake and enjoy.  

Just pray for your friend and move on. She is lashing out at the person she probably cares the most for. You have to do what you have to do. Keep trying, and one day at a time you will make your goals. Someday your friend may come around, but for now you need to take care of you. Praying for you!

your kids are excuses? is that what she said for what, for not taking a break all day, for not being able to go out and have fun? for learning all the cartoon songs and not know who bruno mars is? lammmmmmmmeeeee.. tell her  i HAVE done something with my life, im dedicating my life to raise 4 children who maybe someday could learnd the cure for cancer or maybe just maybe could help change the world.. she has no idea how hard is to raise a child to be an extraordinary person.. if they way she talked to you is anything to go by her parents must not be such great parents to have raise a brat like her.. i said good riddance and you dont need her the love of your children and their sweet little faces are enough for a mother.. im a stay at home mom of 2 boys and you know what i tell the world? IM A MOTHER BEFORE IM A WOMAN.. because everything i do effects my children in someway.. am im trying to raise decent human beings not little brats who cant make it out in the world without mommy and daddy to help them.. AND YOU KNOW WHAT YES MY KIDS ARE MY EXCUSE.. i dont go to work because my kids need me.. once they are of age(my youngest is 2) then i will finish my career.. the only job i have right now is to raise my children as best as possible.. and if no one likes it then SUCKS FOR THEM.. your "friend" is a perfect example of HOW NOT TO RAISE YOUR KIDS so send her a note and thank her for showing you the kind of person YOU DONT WANT YOUR KIDS TO BE...

Sorry you are going thru this right now. I am sure it hurts. Even tho her behavior isn't very friend like, you thought she was a friend. You also probably feel very betrayed right now.

You can pick yourself up by the bootstraps tho. You know that your kids come before anyone or anything. She doesn't have a clue. You know that your kids aren't an excuse. They are a reason for living. You know you can go on without her, so long as you have your kids. She can't go on without blaming others for her own possible shortcomings.

You have a lot of support here. Take advantage of it. Know that you are worthy of a better friend. Know that your kids will always love you no matter what and that is the most important thing of all.

You are a responsible, independent person who  had WLS and lost weight while raising three children.  She is a person with no responsibility,  no ability to take care of herself and lives off others.  Who is the one who has done nothing with her life? 

My guess is she is jealous.  You were probably "the fat friend" and now you aren't. Maybe this now makes her "the fat friend" and is putting you down to compensate for it.  I am not sure of her reasons but  they are coming from a place of weakness in her.

Surround yourself by positive supportive people.  Move on,  with friends like her who needs enemies.  Maybe she will come around,  maybe she won't but live your life and don't let her hold you back.

This is why I love this place and OH family--you are all so supportive. It was so nice to read all the heart0felt responses to Jessica's crisis----you are good people!

Jessica, I agree with what everyone else says---being the momma is the most important thing you can do right now. Your children need you, so keep fighting, sweetie. Don't give into the old ways of eating, it will not fix things anyway. Keep your chin up and work it out through exercise----I have navigated so many difficult situations lately at the gym or running on the outdoor trails. It really does help.

You can do this, the last few pounds are the "old lard" and will come off, just keep the faith.

 I am so sorry that your *friend* is being this way. I can understand bc my sister is basically doing the same thing. She is very jealous I had this surgery and I am living life. People do not know how to handle the person we are becoming. They think that b/c we lose weight we wont be the same. I don't blame you for being so upset. She needs a reality check on her life. being a parent is one of the most important roles you could ever have and that alone makes for a great life. keep your head up and know we are all here for you! 

I am wondering if your friend has a weight problem. It sounds like although your lives have been different (e.g. you have four children, she as none, you have your own home and she does not, you have responsibilities that you are taking care of she does not). Now you are taking care of you and getting more healthy. Is this just the ultimate thing she is not taking care of for herself?

Don't let her problem become your problem. I know it hurts to have a close friendship change. You can grieve without sabotaging your health. I recently had some stressful situations crop up in my own life and I know you can make the choice to choose wisely and not go back to addictive bad food choice. Choose to eat to live not live to eat.

Sending you hugs and strength.

Jessica,

Bless those that curse you. If you do that God can open doors for you that no man can close, and God will place a hedge of protection around you.

Also, every time you think about the letter and whenever you began to feel the hurt and pain, pray for your friend. I'm telling you sooner or later you won't be bothered by it. Pray that God will touch her heart and bless her indeed. We don't know what's going on with her, but God knows and he can bless your friend in that area.

Speak nothing negative over your friend. Only the positive.