The Afters

It's Saturday and cold and rainy so I'm inside which means you all are unfortunate enough to have to deal with my introspections.

The Afters.

How do I explain that concept? It starts with my food demons. I talk to them a lot. One may think this is a bit crazy BUT if I'm talking to them I am not obeying their commands.

And when I talk to them, it is usually about WHY I should not do what they tell me to do. But, like any other kind of demon, my food demons are quite seductive, convincing. They have good answers to nearly every reason I throw out.

"I'm not hungry..."

"But you haven't had enough calories today..."

"I'll get sick..."

"Not if you eat some protein first..."

"Eating this will make me gain weight..."

"But don't you deserve a treat sometimes? You work so hard..."

Yes they have great counter-reasons for why I should eat what THEY want me to eat. So far the only irrefutable argument I've been able to come up with is The Afters.

The Afters is that combination of regret, shame, guilt and self-loathing you feel after you've made a bad decision of any sort. You feel like crap. You wish you could press rewind, go back a few minutes and then do something different. You wonder why you aren't strong enough to make a different decision. You wonder if you'll fail. You want so very badly to feel good about yourself but you feel you've blown your chance.

...Or sometimes the afters aren't that deep. Sometimes you make a small bad decision and you just wish you hadn't. And it irks you for the rest of the day.

I don't like The Afters. Especially not in the morning. So when I argue my demons down I ask them can they guarantee I won't face The Afters. They cannot promise I won't. In those moments when I remember that, I win. I make the better decision because what I want in that fleeting moment isn't nearly worth the feelings I'll feel for a long time afterward.

:)

Sure could have used this yesterday with my cravings and justifications..... gah!
But today is a new day and I'll try to start talking to my food demons instead of just letting them run roughshod over me

Oh Nik I like that!! Good stuff.
thanks
ann

you are a true inspiration, i will start talking to my food demons too.

Well I'm glad to know I'm not the only crazy one here-LOL. I've named my  hunger (cravings) Walter and I think of Walter in terms of a small child.Being a mother and granmma I find it's very easy to kind of order Walter about--you know --Walter for heavens sakes stop whining and go outside to play or Walter you know I'm busy right now go to your room and do your homework. I then visualize Walter leaving the room. I may have to tell him 2 or 3 times but most of the time when I can get Walter out of the room my craving goes with him. Mind over matter???

You only have ONE???

You lucky duck!

I haven't named mine but I've identified at least three:

-The one that wants me to eat when I am bored
-The one that wants me to eat when I am upset or stressed
-The one that wants me to eat when I am happy

 Thanks for posting about this.  I am one year and a month out, and my demons are back with a vengence after Christmas!  I wish I can go back to the months when I had NO HUNGER and could barely eat anything, but now is the phase where I have to really deal with these demons that have taunted me my whole life again.  I have the same 3 (bored, upset/stressed/happy).  It does help to identify them and talk to others who are going through the same thing.  

Oh lord, I'll just lump all the reasons into one craving--don't think I could handle Walter as triplettts--LOL !!

 Nik, will you write a self-help book with me??? I've got the credentials, you've got the writing talent.......... (really kidding about that. As talented as YOU are, I know I'd never be able to get my act together for such a large venture!)
But seriously, I LOVE that concept of The Afters. Putting a label to something really helps diminish the fear of the thing. Very good post!!!!