Sorry fellas...what you see is NOT what you get...

I was inspired by Mad Men and lingerie of another era.  Beautiful, sexy things that cover you up, distract from the obvious flaws but allow easy access once the lights are out.  Light some candles and all is right with the world?  You could even add a lovely scarf to the repertoire if you are uncomfortable with your balding scalp.

Disclaimer:  I agree with Kelly in whole that bodies ravaged by obesity, childbirth, surgery,...are beautiful in all shapes and forms.  Those things, and others, are badges of pure honor and I try hard to put my money where my mouth is when it comes to this situation.  I get naked in front of my husband, in a lit room, with all of my sags, bags, puckers, wrinkles and other assorted frailties and he digs it because 1)  He might get lucky; 2)  He is not perfect either and if I were, it would make him nervous.

Sooo...You find a happy medium that lets you feel attractive and sexy but also recognizes that a potential partner, unless they have a side job modeling for GQ, worries just the same about what you see when his britches are down!

Nikki

I feel the same way and I just began this journey...I have always been ashamed of my body...Sex lights off and I meant it...I still feel that way even though my finacee says I am beautiful the way I am...So I am already thinking ahead to when I finally lose all this weight, the dreaded skin that will remain as I have been overweight for over half of my life...Truthfully I told him I want plastic surgery...but the truth is money is so tight that I probably can't afford it...so I am going to have to learn to love myself the way that I am...and that will definitely take some work...

Nic, you love yourself, now you've got to own it girl.

I CAN afford plastics, but for me, I want to travel, so that is where I'm spending my money.  I'm no PS hater either........if you want it do it, I'm all for whatever makes you happy. And I never say never, because I may decide one day that I want something done....who knows!

If you are to the point that you are going to let someone see your "secrets" then "woman up" and tell them prior that you got it all poked, prodded, spanked, hot glued and melted into something better than it actually is........If they care about you, they will not care about a few flaws.  We usually think it looks way worse than it really is.

I too wear shape wear that strategically mashes my skin into the cutest J Lo booty....and I even let my husband see me put them on!  He is usually in the shower when I'm melting into my Spanx so he gets the early show! 

Seriously though, in order to feel absolutely comfortable in my "skin" I sleep in skimpy stuff-like bikini panties and tank tops (with built in shelf bra).  Seeing myself in these things helps me to notice the good and not focus on the bad.  Go get you a few cute things to prance around if just for you!

Anyone that is lucky enough to have you is NOT going to be turned off by a little skin and hair loss!  YOU are an amazing woman!!

I did not date at all when I was morbidly obese. Just didn't. After surgery, when I had lost all my weight, I started dating. I did have a couple relationships that led to sex, but I was never comfortable with myself and my excess skin. Also, looking back, they were not the right guys for me and I never should have gone there, anyway.

I found my long-lost love soon after losing my weight. We were best friends in college and never even kissed. We met when I was the same weight I am now. A couple years after we graduated, we started dating long distance and I was a lot heavier than I was in college. He fell in love with me when I was heavy. We broke up and were then apart for 15 years. When we got back together, I was thin again, but had tons of loose skin and had not gotten any plastics yet. At first it freaked me out, being with him with all the skin, but I eventually did realize, it did not matter to him. He loved me "as-is" And then I was able to relax and enjoy being with him.

I think it takes being with the right person for us to accept ourselves being in an intimate setting. The right person will not care about any loose skin. He will love you no matter what!!

Laura

 Nik, This post really struck a chord with me, which is ironic because I haven't even begun to lose the weight that some of you ladies have. But I am starting to deflate! My skin is sagging and I have the NASTY belly flap that hangs down.
I have been married for more than a 1/4 of a century to the same man who is and always has been built like a brick S*** house. He has never had an issue with weight and most likely never will... I get so uncomfortable around him now. It makes me sad to feel so weird about my body. The other night we were sitting watching the Golden Globes and he kept putting his fingers into my pocket (on my jeans lol) and as he would do so his knuckles kept rubbing against my stomach! I was so freaked out I finally yelled at him to knock it off!! Now, not nice I know, but dang... stop touching my fat!!! Which completley ridiculous!! We have three children, i've gained weight and lost some and gained weight and lost it and gained more and more and more. He's been around my body in every way a person can but all of a sudden I don't want him in the same room if I am not fully clothed. I think it's because I haven't become accostomed to the changes yet but I'm not sure he understands that. So, to sum it up.. I think I understand what your saying and I think that maybe with time you will become more comfortable with your nakedness and sharing it, intimacy is hard work. Whomever is blessed by your willingness to share this part of your life needs to be worth the effort it takes to get to THAT point. Hope that makes a little sense, I think I may have rambled a little lol. 

Nik-I have read/saw that also. That men are just excited that you have decided to get nekkid with them. They are not observing every flaw (whether real or imagined). They really are just excited!! LOL And if a guy is that shallow, two words buh-bye!!

Nik they just don't care. I had this conversation with my better half on Sunday. I told him how uncomfortable I was letting him see my butt that now looks like a mini-blind it is so wrinkled and droopy. He told me he loved my wrinkly old arse. Ya just gotta love who you are and be proud of what you have accomplished. You are an incredible person!