People who stop coming here when they are struggling
Yeah, I have that my-head-will-explode thing, too, LOL.
I agree that no one should be embarrassed about regain because it DOES happen to most of us to one degree or another at various times... but I do understand why they feel some pressure because of the heavy emphasis here on "the numbers" and how so many people here define "success" based on the scale, the BMI chart, or their clothing tags.
Yes, it IS hard work to maintain the weight loss! Much harder than it was to lose it (as much as newbies don't believe that as they struggle with stalls and obsessing about the numbers).
I just wish I knew how to help people feel more comfortable sharing their struggles. I try hard to emphasize the psychological/emotional/behavioral aspects of being successful long term, and that changes in these areas are just as important as changing what you eat, but I usually feel like it falls on deaf ears... or, perhaps more accurately, cannot be heard over the roar of people freaking out over "the numbers"...
Lora
I agree that no one should be embarrassed about regain because it DOES happen to most of us to one degree or another at various times... but I do understand why they feel some pressure because of the heavy emphasis here on "the numbers" and how so many people here define "success" based on the scale, the BMI chart, or their clothing tags.
Yes, it IS hard work to maintain the weight loss! Much harder than it was to lose it (as much as newbies don't believe that as they struggle with stalls and obsessing about the numbers).
I just wish I knew how to help people feel more comfortable sharing their struggles. I try hard to emphasize the psychological/emotional/behavioral aspects of being successful long term, and that changes in these areas are just as important as changing what you eat, but I usually feel like it falls on deaf ears... or, perhaps more accurately, cannot be heard over the roar of people freaking out over "the numbers"...
Lora
14 years out; 190 pounds lost, 165 pound loss maintained
You don't drown by falling in the water. You drown by staying there.
I looked for a different type of support when I got out a year or so..I went to the Grads board..Most of the time, people who are lurking on the Grads Board are that sort..they're either struggling or have never gotten to goal and are afraid..they don't want to scare the newbies or let the world think they're failures.
I'm on the Grad Board 85% of the time but there are groups on facebook too..I come back here every once in a while too..
I'm on the Grad Board 85% of the time but there are groups on facebook too..I come back here every once in a while too..
Yes, RNY worked for me but it also requires a lot of work from me!
Before Surgery: 214
Highest Weight: 240
Now: 125.6
Goal: 130
Before Surgery: 214
Highest Weight: 240
Now: 125.6
Goal: 130
I went to the grads forum for a while but there wasn't much activity at the time. I really believe that this forum can provide reciprocal support... The vets have the wisdom of experience to share with newbies and the newbies have the enthusiasm that vets who are struggling have often lost.
Lora
Lora
14 years out; 190 pounds lost, 165 pound loss maintained
You don't drown by falling in the water. You drown by staying there.
In the first post, Lora wrote:
"Both of these people would BENEFIT from being here. The newbies would benefit from hearing the truth about how hard it is when real life sets back in after the glow of the quick weight loss subsides. It makes me sad that they don't feel "successful enough" to be here."
I too am sad that they've left.
But I (as a newbie) would like to stress how helpful it can be to hear from those who are struggling down the line. It is very important to constantly drum into our heads that this surgery is not a free ticket, and that it is only a tool, and that in a few months we are really going to have to buckle down and WORK at this!
That's about generalities. We can also get into specifics. It is very sad that some have totally fallen off the wagon and given up. I don't want to gloat at them, because for all I know, that could happen to ME in a few years. I want them to know that even if they've given up on themselves (which is sad, and they can certainly get some encouragement from us if they want to get back on track) they can still do us a favor by sharing their stories.
What I mean is that they can tell us the factors which led to their weight gain. The more we know, the more prepared we'll be, and the more we can protect ourselves against it.
I'll give a few examples:
A couple of weeks ago, I saw a few posts warning about "licking syndrome". Apparently it is common among WLS patient to cheat by licking bad foods, in order to get the taste without the calories. They said this is a recognized eating disorder, and this knowledge will certainly help me to resist the temptation to do such a thing.
I have also noticed certain people who crave certain foods, even to the point where they will endure dumping rather than give up the treats. This is a food addiction -- and obvious to everyone except the sufferer. Forewarned is forearmed.
My point is to reiterate Lora's: Please come back, all ye oldtimers! We can help you get back on track. And even if you think that to be impossible, you can still be of great help to the newbies!
"Both of these people would BENEFIT from being here. The newbies would benefit from hearing the truth about how hard it is when real life sets back in after the glow of the quick weight loss subsides. It makes me sad that they don't feel "successful enough" to be here."
I too am sad that they've left.
But I (as a newbie) would like to stress how helpful it can be to hear from those who are struggling down the line. It is very important to constantly drum into our heads that this surgery is not a free ticket, and that it is only a tool, and that in a few months we are really going to have to buckle down and WORK at this!
That's about generalities. We can also get into specifics. It is very sad that some have totally fallen off the wagon and given up. I don't want to gloat at them, because for all I know, that could happen to ME in a few years. I want them to know that even if they've given up on themselves (which is sad, and they can certainly get some encouragement from us if they want to get back on track) they can still do us a favor by sharing their stories.
What I mean is that they can tell us the factors which led to their weight gain. The more we know, the more prepared we'll be, and the more we can protect ourselves against it.
I'll give a few examples:
A couple of weeks ago, I saw a few posts warning about "licking syndrome". Apparently it is common among WLS patient to cheat by licking bad foods, in order to get the taste without the calories. They said this is a recognized eating disorder, and this knowledge will certainly help me to resist the temptation to do such a thing.
I have also noticed certain people who crave certain foods, even to the point where they will endure dumping rather than give up the treats. This is a food addiction -- and obvious to everyone except the sufferer. Forewarned is forearmed.
My point is to reiterate Lora's: Please come back, all ye oldtimers! We can help you get back on track. And even if you think that to be impossible, you can still be of great help to the newbies!
Even more prevalent than "licking" is "chewing and spitting" among WLS folks (any surgery, not just RNY, but moreso with RNYers because it is often sugary items that the person fears they will dump on if they swallow it).
At one point, I had 4 clients who had undergone some type of WLS; one was well on the way to alcoholism and the other two were both chewing and spitting. Ironically, but not surprisingly (to me, at least), the two who were spitting were the only ones who had regained any significant amount of weight.
Lora
At one point, I had 4 clients who had undergone some type of WLS; one was well on the way to alcoholism and the other two were both chewing and spitting. Ironically, but not surprisingly (to me, at least), the two who were spitting were the only ones who had regained any significant amount of weight.
Lora
14 years out; 190 pounds lost, 165 pound loss maintained
You don't drown by falling in the water. You drown by staying there.
In response to the post that mentioned all the repeated posts. I belong to forums that have topics / threads. I would like for this forum to be like that. It does get tiresome to see the same question over and over. This is what will eventually lose me and I do think it is necessary for newbies to have a place to find support and encouragement.
I've learned a tremendous amount and it is helpful to see how others handle their nutrition and health problems. So thank you to everyone who shares opinions and experience.
I've learned a tremendous amount and it is helpful to see how others handle their nutrition and health problems. So thank you to everyone who shares opinions and experience.
I want to say thank you to each and everyone of you. I haven't had the surgery yet and I am researching my options. I really enjoy coming to this forum and being able to gain knowledge of everything there is to know. I want to know the good and the bad. Please everyone stick around you are helping alot of people more then you know.
The beating many people get when they post about weight gain would make anyone run.
I lurk, ocassionally post, but my outlook is sometimes different because I have a RNY pouch and a longer DS common channel. I am 6 1/2 years out and maintaining well.
My experiences may not be helpful to some.
No matter which surgery one has, regain happens to some, and can be depressing leading to isolation. I haven't really struggled to keep weight off, and after gaining about 10 pounds and trying to lose it over and over, I gave up and accepted it. I'm also 56 years old, and some gain is normal as we get older.
I believe the " honeymoon" phase is when we make real decisions on how we plan to eat going forward. I wonder if some of us only hear what we want to hear when the WLS is discussed with the surgeons, or post-ops who try to pass on true experiences. Those who post things like " 100 lbs gone forever!" seem very unrealistic. When we go back to eating out of boredon, depression, habit, or to socialize, it leads right back to where we came from. I don't believe we will all regain to pre-surgery weight, but a few will.
That means going into this knowing it's not a free ride to skinnyville.
I lurk, ocassionally post, but my outlook is sometimes different because I have a RNY pouch and a longer DS common channel. I am 6 1/2 years out and maintaining well.
My experiences may not be helpful to some.
No matter which surgery one has, regain happens to some, and can be depressing leading to isolation. I haven't really struggled to keep weight off, and after gaining about 10 pounds and trying to lose it over and over, I gave up and accepted it. I'm also 56 years old, and some gain is normal as we get older.
I believe the " honeymoon" phase is when we make real decisions on how we plan to eat going forward. I wonder if some of us only hear what we want to hear when the WLS is discussed with the surgeons, or post-ops who try to pass on true experiences. Those who post things like " 100 lbs gone forever!" seem very unrealistic. When we go back to eating out of boredon, depression, habit, or to socialize, it leads right back to where we came from. I don't believe we will all regain to pre-surgery weight, but a few will.
That means going into this knowing it's not a free ride to skinnyville.
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