Addiction vs. Liking

This response might not make any sense regarding the topic, but I have an additive personality.  If it wasn't drugs, then cigarettes, then it was alcohol, it not alchohol, then food.  My therapist asked me to put a word to how i feel when I am eating anything.  It all comes back to two words.  The same two words whether it be alcohol, cigarettes or food (I think the drug thing was a litle different for me).  But the two words are BORED and ANXIOUS.

Still trying to delve deeper into the "why" so I can stop this madness or at least understand the madness.

Nik, its funny, because I too, would wake up and think about what i was going to be able to eat for lunch that day and for dinner and i would live for those moments.  I still do, but my mindset is changing and i am learning to do it more from a planning purpose.  As they say, I was living to eat ... not eating to live!

Thanks for letting me rattle ...

I don't know if I had a addiction or not I know I had a food problem I would eat and eat and eat. I fouond myself if I went to the buffet I had to make sure I got my moneys worth and if I ate enough then maybe I could save money by not having to eat supper later when I got home. If I was at a work function and they had free food then I would eat even if I was already full thinking process being the same iff I eat their food maybe I can get by without eating at home thus saving money. Does that make sense? Problem is I never had to go hungry or without so I am not sure where this mode of thinking came from. And I loved food even thinking about what I would like to eat. Since surgery I have found foods don't taste as good and I still find myself sometimes doing the same thing but my habits are definately changing. I just wish I knew why I was that way

People just don't understand..i had teh You Pick Two version of the Sonoma Chicken Stew at Panera at 1230 today and I can't quit talking about it -- people think i'm a freak but it means that much to me.
I do, also, get the addict tag for exercise and that I'm not. I do not exercise 7 days a week and I do one hour max on the days I do go to the gym. aside from a long training on Saturday morning (if I happen to be in training), I think I do what a normal person has to do to maintain.

How do you feel about the addiction being developed during our up-bringing?  I remember growing up and listening to my entire family (extended and all) talk about food and thinking about the meals we were going to have.  Every family get-together was about the food.  I feel like I developed this addiction at a young age because it was how I was taught to think.  Does that make sense?  Would you call that an addiction?  I mean I learned straight out that when you go to a restaurant you get the best thing on the menu - you don't think about calories or fat.  If it tastes good - eat it!  Maybe it's not addiction for me, but a way of life that I must end. 

I'm five months post-op and have lost 66 lbs, but I can feel some of that old thinking coming back - and it drives me nuts.  You really do have to train yourself to think about eating all over again! 

Thanks for post - a very good read at a very good time! 

Nik, your description of food obsessiveness was exactly how I was preop.  My dreams centered around food and the next meal was on my mind at all times.  When I dieted, it was hightened tenfold.  I couldn't even handle the drive home from work (10 minutes), without stopping at a take-out place for a snack.

That obsessive thinking is no where near as powerful now, although I am still a recent postop (5 months) and my hunger hasn't returned fully yet.  If/when it does, my plan is to try and distract myself with activities, like you did with exercise.  What else can one do? 

As an aside, about two weeks ago, I found myself in the grocery store, coveting alcohol.  I do not drink.  I've probably had 10 drinks in the last 3 years.  So, why was I looking at flavored vodkas and drink mixes thinking about how tasty they sounded?  I couldn't decide if it was the siren of the forbidden or the brain transfering my prior obsessive food thoughts to alcohol.  Needless to say, I'm staying away from the alcohol aisle.

That's the thing. Pre-op I never thought about food. I ate as much as I wanted of what I wanted. I fed my demons well. When the demons were starved they cried out! That's when the trouble began, in my early days post-op (about 4-5 mos). Now I'm better. I have my days but it's definitely a lot better.

Before I had surgery, I didn't think I was a food addict. I truly thought I was THAT hungry. Well as my post op years advanced, I had to face the fact "I AM A FOOD ADDICT."

As for what that means to me. I need food to feel good in my HEAD. Even if it doesn't feel good in my BODY! It means obsessive thoughts and compulsions towards food. It means finding an alternative to the mental satiation of food (like alcohol or shopping) when I'm depriving myself of food.

Indeed the word and 'practice' of addiction is a potentially life threating state. Use the word carefully and address it continuously! In my eight years post op; I've lost too many friends!

Wishing us all wellness!