Responsibility and Regain

I’ve been wondering about this, and I may ramble a bit here.  What I’ve been thinking and wondering about is whether people that take more responsibility for their weight loss and their health in general are less likely to regain.  Let me explain what I mean.

From talking to various people, both in “real life" and online, I’ve found that some people seem to take more responsibility for their health than others.  Now, it’s kinda hard to say exactly what indicates someone takes responsibility for their health, and I do not mean to be critical of anyone that does things differently than I do.  And let me say upfront, it is not only OK but good to rely on your doctor’s expertise and follow his advice and comply with his recommendations (well, most of the time, anyway).  That’s what we pay our doctors for, or part of what we pay them for, anyway.

To me, taking responsibility for our health means we communicate with our doctors, giving them the information they need in order to make useful recommendations for us.  It means asking questions and letting the docs know if their advice is not working for us for some reason.  It means asking them to explain things if we don’t understand them so that we do understand.  It means questioning them if their advice doesn’t make sense to us.

 Sometimes, being responsible for my own health means not following a doctor’s advice.  For instance, when my surgeon advised me to take calcium carbonate, being responsible for my own health meant doing some research to find out what kind of calcium we absorb best after RNY and then taking calcium citrate instead of what my doctor recommended.  And I told him what I was taking and why I was choosing not to follow his advice.

But some people would just take the calcium carbonate.  Believe it or not, a long time ago, that’s what I would have done.  And that, I think, would have been putting the responsibility on my doctor instead of taking responsibility myself.  The problem with that, of course, is that by now I’d be suffering bone loss, and I would be the one with bone loss, not my doctor. 

So what I’m wondering is, are people that take more responsibility for their health in general, and weight loss in particular, less likely to regain?  It seems to me that they would be.  I have no idea how to quantify these things, though.  But what do you think?

I think that is true about just anything in life.  The more invested we are in it personally, the more successful, enjoyable, rewarding it is.

If I can, let me use the example of the church.  (it's a good analogy for me to use - not rpeaching, I swear!)

If a person just shows up on Sunday morning with the expectation they will get closer to God by being fed by the pastor for 45min to an hour they will get something, but not be totally filled.  Thsoe who attend worship, go to Sunday School read Scripture during the week, pray on their own and attend fellowship and educational events that are part of the church seem to feel muh better about their spiritual life.  Kind of back to - "you get what you put into it".  IMHO  :-)

Yes - I think people who learn their own bodies and "are responsible" for their own health are less likely to regain.

However, sometimes we are blinded by some other flaw and don't do a good job - I'm afraid that my flaws that got me morbidly obese will blind me from taking responsibility for not regaining.

I've always, as a morbidly obese person, told my family - my weight is my business - I don't need anyone to police what I eat....  Now, I've asked my husband - if he sees me overeating and regaining over and over (not like once) that I want him to tell me. 

You make a good point.  Lots of us weren't good at taking responsibility for our health or we never would have needed surgery.  But I think knowing when to ask for help is important.  I don't think asking your husband to tell you if he sees you overeating is giving up responsibility, I think it's a way of taking responsibility.

Under your parameters I do take responsibility for my weight loss, my eating, my physical activity. You all have SEEN that over the last few years.

I stand before you today 20 lbs. heavier than my lowest post-op weight. So I don't know if there is, for me, a correlation.

I think in my case I'm at my set point, my "natural weight." That's not to say that I couldn't weigh less, I'd just have to go way extreme to get there.

Being that I'm finally kinda ok with food, my body image and am getting a grip on my emotional needs in relationships, I'm not sure I want to push that envelope just yet. I'm happy, which is what I got in this for, so I kinda don't wanna rock the boat.

I don't think I answered your question at ALL. Very thought provoking Kelly.

You bring up a good point that I didn't think of, though.  What counts as "regain?"  If a bounce back of 10-20 pounds or so is common, then should we only count it as "regain" if it's more than that?  Or if we get below goal and then gain a little to get up to goal, does that count as regain?  What about those that actually want to regain a little because they got so low?

That's hard to answer. Especially since my low weight ws 172. Not sure what I imagined my low weight SHOULD be but 172 always seemed so high in comparison to everyone else. My surgeon said he expected my body to naturally land in the 180's somewhere so I am only about 13 lbs or so above that, but still.

I don't know whether to call myself a regain, a WLS failure (I wouldn't but technically speaking) or what...?

Well, this is not a technical answer, but if you're happy with your current weight and can do the things you want to be able to do (like climb stairs without getting out of breath, etc.), then I'd call you a success.

That's a really good question. I hope that I'm taking responsibility for my health. I am definitely more aware of my body and what goes into it now than I ever was before surgery. I research more on artificial sweeteners, vitamins, etc, whereas before, I could have cared less where my food came from or what I was eating. I think I am much more assertive with my doctors as well. There are timess when I have to insist on them checking things out a little more thoroughly and not blowing me off. Turns out, I'm more right than I ever thought I would be when it comes to my own body. I KNOW when something isn't quite right.

 As dar as regain...I don't know what I'd consider regain. It's true, most will gain 10-20lbs back after the initial weightloss. I'm curious what others will think is regain.

 

Very thought provoking question! I love it when you make us think!

I think personal accountability and being proactive and responsible for our own health makes a BIG difference. There are always cir****tances outside of our control that can contribute but IMO we get out what we put in with anything in life!
Our local support group meets once a month for dinner, discussion, support...and as an observer I've realized how some are and aren't taking personal responsibility for their post op losses and gains! 9 out of 10 of us have the same surgeon, same guidelines, we were all given the same information. We're told that in order to get the most out of our tool we should choose healthy foods, foods that fuel our bodies and we should avoid or REALLY limit those that are void of nutritional value and would keep us from maximizing our weight loss! He puts it in our hands, holds us accountable and wants us to be responsible for what we take in. He clearly says "I can give you the tool but it's up to you to use it the way you should in order for it to work best". He also says he's not our babysitter, food police and it's our responsibility to do what's needed to be successful! He gives us food lists and reminds us that the healthier the choices the better and longer our tool will work for us! He doesn't have any strict do and do not eat lists but wants us to have a healthy balance that's atainable long term, something we can work for life and maintain! 

I've noticed in observing these people that a few don't quite get that WLS doesn't fix our brain and our habits! A few who are several years out can't seem to understand why they've regained so much and others in our group have reached goal or maintained with minimal regain. Their habits make it clear where the regain is coming from. Non diet soda, large loaf of garlic butter bread followed by large calzone and dessert! At the time I was maybe 6 months out and couldn't understand why they would be so upset about not reaching goal when their eating hadn't changed. Another observation of a patient less than a month out from RNY eating plates full of rice and noodles, alcohol, sugar, and then regretting surgery because she wasn't losing fast enough and at about a yr out is having issues with pain and her weight loss has all but stopped. I'm amazed not just by what but how much is being eaten. It's bound to cause pain, uncomfortable, sick reactions.  Hearing them blame surgery, the Dr, or everything else they could then talk about revisions without thinking that maybe personal responsibility and understanding that they had to work on their relationship with foods and be more accountable about how the choices they're making are keeping them from obtaining weight loss success!  

I think I was more shocked because personally things like bread, rice, sugar, pasta were all things that made me hurt or uncomfortable and I knew they led to me getting to 450+ lbs and didn't contribute to getting the most out of my tool. I'm not perfect in my eating! I eat some unhealthy foods, make poor choices but I'm aware that my habits and choices can easily put me back to SMO and dying! 

I've gone to my Drs with what I've learned about suppliments and haven't been met with much resistance and have been told as long as my labs reflect what I'm doing is working there won't be much of a discussion about it. They know I'm taking my health into my own hands, doing my research and I'm grateful to have Drs who get they aren't the end all be all of knowledge and sometimes they aren't always right! My surgeon was surprised about how much I had learned about a lot of stuff.
If I just did everything the Dr. told me to or took his words as the end all be all I'd be in BIG trouble! If it doesn't feel right, I HAVE to say something! We're paying them to be our Dr not the other way around! They are there to work for YOU and your health! It bothers me how so many just blindly go with whatever their Dr says or will take a pill without knowing what it's for, what it does, how it can affect you, possible reactions.....It's like personal responsibility just doesn't exist! We walk around with this "oh, he/she's my Dr. they would tell me what if any side effects, or they wouldn't give it to me if it could cause XYZ"
I really think good Drs appreciate patients who do their research, know their bodies and are knowledgable about what they put in their bodies and take responsibility for their own health!!