Debate topic: whose fault is it if a child is obese?

I have always been overweight or obese. My sibilings were not growing up.  My parents did nothing different with me than with them.  We all played outside all day. Kick ball, tag, riding bikes, etc.  So we all got exercise. 

I have two children.  One is obese and one isn't. I cook the same for both. The one who isn't does not play any organized sports.  But he runs. His body is just like my husband's.    The one that is obese is a 3rd degree black belt.  She goes to class 3-5 days per week and teaches it another 5 hours per week.  Up until this year she was in the marching band.  Her body type is exactly like mine.  She will always be thick.

I think this is much more complicated than saying it is the parent's fault.  There are so many things that make up this issue. 

 I believe it is everyones fault.  Mine for filling the cabnets and no****ching closely enought.  (just caught my kids last week eating the powered sugar, and chocolate chips left over from holiday baking)
the schools for alowing my chidren to get seconds and for offering milk shakes and hunny buns.  
the the TV's because the commercials have my chidlren thinking that they need pizza rolls when they get home from school.  

While I do feel in SOME cases it maybe linked to parenting I really don't believe that IF your child is overweight it is the parents fault.

I am an IDENTICAL twin--I have 2 boys ages 9 and 11--both are on the chubby side--I have been obese my entire life, dh was a SKINNY child and has always been a normal weight adult. I don't keep junk in the house, keep my kids VERY active and they eat "normal food". Yet my children ARE large-not just a little chunky but tall as well.

My twin has 3 children--ages 9, 6 and 2. Not only is my sister MO, so is her husband. My sister, like me has been obese her entire life--her husband was a normal weight till college then became obese and has been MO for at least the last 15 yrs. Yet Their children are thin--they eat junk food routinely, drive thru, candy--both her boys went to bed while I was visiting last week with a cupful of M&M's on more than one occasion (Neither eats any normal meat that I know of--just salami, peperoni, chicken nuggets etc). Her oldest son is on focalin and does skip lunch most days but her 6 yr old eats through out the day. They do NOT do any formal exercise or sports--so WHY are they thinner than my boys???

I have not read the other replies, but my $.02 worth is that it depends on the situation.  Clearly there is a very strong genetic component to obesity, so some children will be overweight or obese no matter how diligent a parent is about what they feed the kids.  It is one thing to hold a parent responsible if they can show that the parent shows complete lack of concern about what the child eats or how much (s)he weighs or if that parent actively contributes to an unhealthy diet.  It is another thing to point the finger at a parent who makes honest efforts to feed their children healthy food and control their weight but the kids are still overweight.  

Children do not only eat at home (or even just home and school).  Kids may get high sugar and/or high fat snacks from their friends;  if they are old enough and have access to shopping (we had a convenience store between our house and the schools!), they may buy snacks with their allowance or whatever other money they have, and the parent may never know they are doing so.

Ultimately, I think the "responsibility" for childhood obesity is a collective problem... Parents who don't focus enough on what their kids eat and how much activity they get (too much time in front f tv and computers), kids that don't see their weight and inactivity as a problem, and schools that no longer require kids to be active (gym and recess).

Lora

 My son is super thin. He only eats when he's hungry. You can put anything in front of him and if he's not hungry he won't eat it.
I had nothing to do with this. It's just how he is. I get "credit" for having a thin kid in my family. I'm sure I would get "blame" if he was overweight. I do try hard not to put my food stuff on him. He will no longer eat any of my leftovers. He likes to try different types of food. We do have dessert Wednesday where we go out to fancy joints and eat dessert.
Deb T.

 I was a very skinny active kid who is now an obese adult who is trying to slowly get active again.  It pains me to see my two sons with a little pudge around the middle because I know how quickly it can get away from you and turn into a monster.  

I know that our culture is a big part of the problem.  I had one channel on TV and got to watch 30 minutes a day.  I had two recesses a day in elementary and gym class every day in junior high and high school.  I walked my dog and rode my pony and swam at the pool and picked wildflowers because there was no video game or computer at my house.  they didn't exist.  Kids now are more sedentary at school and much more so at home, and pizza is now a vegetable!!

I recently read a great book "Born to Run" which is about humans and running and focuses on a tribe in Mexico.  They run for fun.  The children's games are all running and chasing a ball.  They are eating a starvation diet, because that's all they have, and they all run well into their seventies and above.  On special occaisions they have races that last all weekend.  If we had this kind of fun as soon as our kids could walk, childhood obesity wouldn't exist.  Instead we have too much food and too many things to play with while sitting.

My boys hate to run, hate to exercise and love to eat.  I am dragging them with me on my journey to a healthy body, and if the junk isn't in the house, and I won't go buy it, they can eat healthy with me.

I cannot believe that any parent, even the worst one, would make a child obese intentionally.  I do think that parents with obese kids need to put in the extra effort to educate, coax and yes, even make their kids eat right and get some exercise.  I also agree that we need them to love the bodies they have and take good care of them.

If this does become a real custody issue it will be only last until the "new custodial" parent tries to make the kid lose weight!  

hard to imagine a judge who would grant custody based solely on this alone.  anyone who has ever had a battle with weight will surely see that this issue is far to complex to simply say " o yes that mom made the kids fat, let's take them away and dad will make it all better"

I dont' have kids, but I can tell about my life. I was super active... summertime I was up at 6am and out until 8pm. I built forts out of railroad ties, climbed trees, explored the woods. I was told how fat I was all my life but now I see pics and I would kill for those thighs!
My mom was a stay at home mom and cooked everything from scratch. She is a southern mama and lots of stuff was fried or had gravy,etc, but for the most part it was not too bad. In middle school is when they started offering milkshakes and pizza at lunch. In middle school / high school I had some trauma in my life and started eating it away... and the school gave me shakes, pizza, burgers, desserts, vending machines, candy sales, parties and treat bags to do it.
On the other hand I am also a product of genetics. My mom, her mom, her mom's twin, their mom.... all obese. My sister was adopted and she is trim and athletic (went to college on a sports scholarship and is in that school's hall of fame). She ate the same foods I did and sat around the house if she wasn't playing ball.

So yeah, the parents play a big part, but there is only so much control you can exert over "life"

 I'm not reading other replies. I apologize if this reiterates other responses. The honest answer (which you don't specify) Yes, you have reponsibility for your daughters obesity.  The father of your daughters' has responsibilty, as well. There is nothing beyond this, no matter the excuses made. You are both responsible. I don"t feel the need to elaborate.  You know truth when you hear it.

If the child was obese or anorexic, it could be an issue for CPS.. We had a family friend who was obsessed about her weight..therefore her 2 kids had the same issue.. became very underweight.. Their family Dr.. had the kids & Mother consult with a MFT & dietician..I was so glad to see the kids eventually put some weight on in a healthy way.. I had feared for the daughter the most..
 
You as the parent need to be the best advocate for your girls.. You should consider taking it over with your kids doctor.  I know my son had put on a few pounds this last year.. We had a family discussion.. and came up with a plan.. trust me your daughter eventually will appreciate the early intervention..

I make sure all the family members are on the same game plan.. no cookies or chips at grandma's, no sugar added ketchup, etc etc..Walking, bike riding etc.. Even good food in excess can be a bad thing..