Debate topic: whose fault is it if a child is obese?

Oh don't get me started on PE. That's a whole other can of worms. I agree. But most schools are strapped for money and change usually costs some money. When you're being judged by test scores, you tend to budget to the test scores. I don't blame them for that. But another example of how capitalistic structures work AGAINST health.

I agree.  When my daughter was in Kindergarten she had a great PE teacher.  They did roller skating, hula hoops, and jump rope.  They also earned tiny plastic feet they could put on their shoe laces for every mile walked both at school and home.  Both the principal and the PE teacher went outside with the kids during recess and played with them. 

Then we moved.  Now they run and do sit ups. 

 I hated PE as a kid too, but loved playing tennis, basketball and softball - and played all of those things in elementary and high school, competitively. Gym class was like a form of hell to me. I hated it. Hated running laps, hated gymnastics, hated having boys on my teams who hated dealing with "girls" (because girls cant play sports!). 

I'm glad all I had to do in school was participate in order to pass - unfortunately, now, they grade based on effort and knowledge of the sport. 

My kids and I hike in the warmer weather (Upstate NY has some beautiful trails!), play tennis, swim, walk and this spring, my daughter and I are going to be training for a marathon! My youngest can run laps around me right now, but one day I hope to be able to tire him out!! 

I think it goes back to the drivers of the child's obesity. If a parent if feeding them crap 3 times a day and not educating the child about good food choices, I think there would be some grounds for questioning the parental abilities.

If the parent is educating the child, helping them to understand how to make better choices, that is excellent parent. At that point, I don't believe the parent is responsible for the child's obesity.

I struggle in our society today, where I am told that I am responsible for everything my child under 18 does, yet I am not allowed to discipline that child in a manner I find appropriate. Sorry, I got my butt beat a few times as a child and I learned to make choices that kept that from happening again. I am responsible fortheir behaviors yet our media sensationalizes bad behavior. TV shows display mouthy teenagers, disrespectful children and make that an acceptable behavior.

While parents should be the the best resource for molding their children, there are way too many outside influences that make parenting harder now, than it was 30 years ago. The actions identify a good parent in opinion, as well as a bad parent. A malnourished child wouldn't be obese but the actions of the parent are for more damaging than one who is attempting to battle genetic obesity.

Happy New Year's Nik!......I have some experience in this area......My sister and I are 10 years apart...I am the eldest...My mother was not a cook and worked all the time so fast food in triple portions were our daily consumption....When granny or auntie did cook homecook food it was laden with high amounts of oil, fats, you know the old time soul food way.

No one forced us to eat it but if you have a sale on Big Macs or Whoppers and 2-4 are in the microwave you will eat it.....I was a greedy chubby kid and then family insulted me and my sister for being obese.

Then when teenage years came and I took matters into my own hand I us to literally tape my mouth shut, or lock my room when pork chops were frying or rode my bike until dark and the street lights came on, so I was 127 pounds at my smallest in high school....still got insulted by family for now being thin, looking good and told it would not last.

my sisters journey was the same even though I was an adult through her teen years but she developed Lupus and other metabolic disorders from these habits.

I carried these habits into my marriage and when I was pregnant with each of my 10 children, I ate DAMN GOOD! then came type 2 diabetes, hypertension, premature births, high cholesterol, fibromyalgia and other co-morbidities after my body had reached its set point of 293 pounds, maybe 300.

All of my 10 children are of normal weight because I cooked better, ate better after wls and did not allow my kids to consume whatever they wanted.  Also they have half of my husband's DNA.  Thank God!

I believe that parent's allowance of what their children consume when they cannot choose for themselves is half the reason and then DNA has a part of it....My father was tall and average in weight but he was a insulin dependent diabetic and had heart disease.  My mother, grandmother and everyone on her side is obese and my mother does not have diabetes but is hypertensive and her obesity put her at risk for breast cancer with abnormal mammograms. 

This is one of many reasons why I packed up and moved my family out of state and away from them.  My sons and daughters look good, they are athletic and do not have to suffer the ridicule of being obese.  Yes, I still cook soul-food but with better oils and preparations.

Yes, my kids still eat fast-food but on occasion and in moderation.  Myself included.  children lead by example.  And if I could only afford Ramen noodles we would eat them and we do in moderation.

I don’t have children, so I hope I do not offend, but I think about this question routinely.

My ex was a morbidly obese man with two obese teen daughters.  He never wanted them to feel poorly about themselves and so never mentioned weight, dieting, or even had a scale in the house.  If they wanted sweets, he provided them, saying that when they were ready, they would make healthier choices.  I think he used this stance to justify his own indulgence in those treats and denial of his own weight.  But I think, as parents, there needs to be limits and education along the way about food choices, exercise, etc.  It is great he wanted them to be confident in their bodies, but in our society, is that truly possible as an obese teen?  Isn’t there a way to instill confidence AND educate/enforce limits?

I have noticed that the kids who are the fittest and healthiest have parents who exercise with them and model good food choices.  My parents NEVER exercised, nor were we ever encouraged to play sports.  I envy the kids whose parents take them skiing, hiking, swimming, etc.  And while we rarely had junk food (chips, sweets, snacks, sugary cereals, etc) in the house and 99% of our meals were balanced and home-cooked, portions were limitless and many foods were fried or fatty. I was an obese child. 

Further, my weight came on suddenly due to an early childhood trauma.  From normal weight to significantly obese within a year, but nobody said anything.  Now, if that happened to my own child, I would take that kid to a therapist to get at the root of the issue.  But, in my case, it was ignored. 

So, is it only the parents' fault?  Absolutely not, and unless clear evidence exists to the contrary, it should not be a consideration in custody issues.  However, are parents of obese children educating, exercising, providing balanced, healthy meals, or seeking outside help in dealing with their kids?  I have my doubts.

I think you have a pretty balanced view.

I don't mean to say the parent is totally off the hook but children are little people with moving parts. They get influenced by many different things. I think, however, if a parent sets a good foundation for a healthy lifestyle the children will model it.

I know I have work to do in this realm and I welcome it. "Helping" my children helps me too.

To further make the problem more complex, I think many parents don't really know what is healthy and what is not.  For years, high carb/low fat was touted as the healthiest meal plan to follow.  And with so many single parent households and/or families living in poverty, eating healthy foods can be really challenging, if not impossible.  And if you are a single parent, finding time to take the kids out exercising may be unfeasible.

There isn't an easy solution to the problem and some of the solutions that people are trying, like putting a child's BMI on their report card, make my blood boil.

There's a lot that has to be done about the media ad campaigns for food. I noticed when I was post-op that just about EVERY ad on TV had a "food" connection, whether it was for the fun of eating with friends, to just seeing people enjoying themselves at a sidewalk cafe` with drinks and food. This is a powerful message, and it's one we all have to battle.

So yes, do your best to keep good food in your children's lives, and also teach them that trips to the fastfood palace are for treats only. I have to admit I bought far too many pizzas for my kids when I was a working mom, but fortunately neither child has a weight problem. (Keeping all my fingers crossed!)

I'm not so sure that the courts or any judicial system should be involved. After all, removing a child from a SERIOUSLY DISFUNCTIONAL home is something that is fought against vigorously due to wanting to keep a child with their parental units. By the above phrase, I mean child sexual and physical abuse. So I can't see the courts wanting to get into the same problem due to a weight issue.

Education of parents and children and severe limitations on the deductibility of ads would be a great start. After all, these are considered "just business as usual" so the ads are a write-off. If they were NOT deductible, I'm willing to bet you'd see a decided reduction in them on TV. Without the subliminal training, the kids (and us!) would be a lot more content without junk food.

Just my $0.02 worth.

I would never want government or any agency using obesity to take a child away from their parents. I know of parents who are skinny and fat feeding junk to their skinny or fat kids. Genetics plays a huge role and I do know of some skinny kids who eat only junk as well as obese ones too. There is a huge movement on this issue right now and I'm afraid its trying to demonize parents of obese kids. I think there are many factors contributing to childhood obesity (parent choices, lifestyle, media, video games, modern conveniences, fast paced lifestyle, etc). Parents should certainly be educated on proper nutrition but will all of them make better choices after that? Probably not...Do we want to legislate how we feed our kids? Slippery slope....if we allow the government or agencies to use this as a reason to call us a bad parent then what's next? I'd be afraid they would start regulating other choices we make for our children...