Fear of Failure (especially for newbies)

poet_kelly
on 12/31/11 12:37 am - OH
I could definitely eat around my surgery if I wanted to.  That would be tough to do, I think ,in the beginning but at three years out, I could definitely do it.  My tool helps me stay on track and stay focused, though.  It sure does not do all the work for me, but it helps.

View more of my photos at ObesityHelp.com          Kelly

Please note: I AM NOT A DOCTOR.  If you want medical advice, talk to your doctor.  Whatever I post, there is probably some surgeon or other health care provider somewhere that disagrees with me.  If you want to know what your surgeon thinks, then ask him or her.    Check out my blog.

 

Debra H.
on 12/31/11 4:51 am
Kelly,

As someone at the beginning of my WLS journey, I sincerely appreciate your contributions to this forum!  You always have very sound, sensible advice :-)

Thank you!

Debby_Jo
timetoloveme62
on 12/31/11 5:40 am - VA
 Kelly you don't know how much you helped me today.  I am at the lowest since surgery with tears everywhere.  I can't find a protein drink that doesn't make me dump, my vitamns make me nauseas in my lower belly even though my stomach isn't used.  I can't find a calcium citrate that doesn't gag me and it just seemed like nothing was working for me.  Although I still don't know what I am going to do about my protein or my vitamns I now know that I am going to get through this.

    
poet_kelly
on 12/31/11 5:45 am - OH
You're in that spot where you are experiencing a lot of the negatives that some people go through after surgery but you haven't gotten to any of the good stuff lately.  I think it's like a new mother that had a hard, long labor and has a baby that cries a lot, especially at night.  She's exhausted and being a mom is not much fun at that point.  She's only had the negative stuff, not the fun of having your baby smile at you or call you mommy for the first time or any of that good stuff.

Can you drink skim milk?  Or soy milk, if you're lactose intolerant?  It's not a great way to get protein in for a long time because you'd get too many calories but right now you're getting so few calories anyway, it's OK to get some from your liquids. 

View more of my photos at ObesityHelp.com          Kelly

Please note: I AM NOT A DOCTOR.  If you want medical advice, talk to your doctor.  Whatever I post, there is probably some surgeon or other health care provider somewhere that disagrees with me.  If you want to know what your surgeon thinks, then ask him or her.    Check out my blog.

 

timetoloveme62
on 12/31/11 5:55 am - VA
 I haven't tried any kind of milk because it wasn't on my list yet..but I think now is the time
poet_kelly
on 12/31/11 5:59 am - OH
Well, you gotta get protein somehow.  I would try milk with no sugar added carnation instant breakfast, but probably just try half a glass the first time to see how it sits.

View more of my photos at ObesityHelp.com          Kelly

Please note: I AM NOT A DOCTOR.  If you want medical advice, talk to your doctor.  Whatever I post, there is probably some surgeon or other health care provider somewhere that disagrees with me.  If you want to know what your surgeon thinks, then ask him or her.    Check out my blog.

 

nurse55
on 12/31/11 5:31 pm
DS on 09/11/12
Thank you Kelly, you will never know how much this helped. I posted one time about the fear of not losing after surgery and kind of got blasted for even going there. I think that this a fear that many must experience but may be afraid to put into words.  I am waiting on insurance to kick in but still am planning on having surgery this year. Because of failure in past weight loss attempts, I think this a very real fear for many of us. Thank you again for your insight and dedication to educating others.
        
poet_kelly
on 12/31/11 10:30 pm - OH
I think it is a very common fear.  And I think talking about it is a good thing.

View more of my photos at ObesityHelp.com          Kelly

Please note: I AM NOT A DOCTOR.  If you want medical advice, talk to your doctor.  Whatever I post, there is probably some surgeon or other health care provider somewhere that disagrees with me.  If you want to know what your surgeon thinks, then ask him or her.    Check out my blog.

 

Keeves
on 12/31/11 11:13 pm - Elizabeth, NJ
Kelly, you're awesome. Your posts should indeed be mandatory for all newbies.

I would just add one thing, from my own experiences, which may or may not apply to others. Unfortunately, I have some friends who've had an RNY and put back on more that half of their loss. Still lighter than their start weight, so it's up to you whether or not to count it as a failure. Failure or not, it does scare the heck out of me that I might stumble into whatever errors they ran into.

My reaction is to EMBRACE THE FEAR. More than my desire for success, this fear of failure is doing wonders to keep me compliant. Even during my two weeks of pre-op protein drinks, I never cheated. Bad habits are hard to break, but my pouch is a TOOL to help me do that. It is a tool that I never had in any of my previous diets, as Kelly wrote. And I pray that this tool will help me to develop good habits, and succeed where I always failed before.
  
poet_kelly
on 12/31/11 11:20 pm - OH
You are right, some people do gain some weight back.  Some gain a lot back.  Our surgery is just a tool that can help us keep the weight off, it's not a guarantee and it doesn't do all the work for us.  I've reached that point where I think I could regain pretty easily because I can eat almost anything I want and while I still have restriction, I could eat enough to gain weight if I ate the wrong things.  But I do have this tool that I never had in the past, and it is helping me.

View more of my photos at ObesityHelp.com          Kelly

Please note: I AM NOT A DOCTOR.  If you want medical advice, talk to your doctor.  Whatever I post, there is probably some surgeon or other health care provider somewhere that disagrees with me.  If you want to know what your surgeon thinks, then ask him or her.    Check out my blog.

 

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