Fear of Failure (especially for newbies)

I think the fear that we'll be the one person that surgery doesn't work for is pretty common.  But if you think about it, why would your body work totally different than everyone else's?  I'm sure you are a special, unique person.  But I bet you are not that special or unique.  Know what I mean?

Very True, I know what you mean!

I feel that same way.  I am about 5 wks. out and everyone's big question seems to be what size I'd like to be or what weight I hope to get down to.  I really don't allow myself to think about it because I fear failure.  My husband told the nurse at the hospital that I was afraid it wouldn't work.  He said that she laughed and said it does work but I will have to be committed to using this tool properly.  I am 100% committed to that so I am just trying to have faith that it will work as it should. 

For me, "fear of failure" was much bigger than the fear of surgery! I had failed at long term weight loss so many times. When I was just over a year out from surgery and feeling pretty good about my long term success, a friend of a friend was talking to me at an event we were both attending. She told me that she had had the surgery too. I hid my shock as she was very overweight! She said to me "Come see me in a year, all your weight will be back too."

As much as it was a nasty thing to say, it made me realize that I can't just rest on my successful weight loss and improved health. I need to continue my healthy ways and NOT go back to the ways of life that got me to the point that I needed the surgery. I will always remember that day at the buffet table hearing those words. I will also remember her plate overloaded with pastas and sweets and mine with a couple slices of roast beef and cheese.

The surgery is absolutely no magic fix.  If you go back to eating the way you used to eat, you'll eventually look a lot like you used to look.  It's a tool, not a magic wand.  It's a great tool that you didn't have before surgery, but still just a tool.  How you use it is up to you.

 Very good analogy!!

Thank you Kelly, for this post.  I logically know that failure, especially this early out, is unlikely, I still have those thoughts. 

I will be (hopefully) getting my surgery early 2012 and really appreciate your post. This is def one of my fears.

Thanks!

Sheila

Thanks for the post Kelly.  As a newbie that is waiting for insurance approval and wondering if I am making the right decision, it really helped to solidify my decision to have this surgery.  It is not a magic wand approach, but a tool to help with my lifestyle changes.  Thanks for your encouraging words.

I'm a bit over two years out and I wish I could make every newbie read Kelly's posts. She is awesome!!!

It is possible to eat around the surgery, no matter what surgery you have. Many many years ago I had and aunt get "the jaw wiring surgery" She could only drink liquids. Well she discovered that shakes and malts are liquids. This was before the internet. She ended up gaining so much weight with her jaw wired shut that she stood up and broke her femur. It is the strongest bone in the body. When it healed she repeated it with the other leg. That was when I decided I needed to research WLS. I took ten years to research and my insurance would only pay for RNY. So I took it and ran with it...lol. I have lost a lot of weight. I still have a bit more to go. I eat normal sized portions for the most part. Sometimes I have big pouch days and sometimes small pouch days. It all depends on grumpy the pouch. She kinda rules my life, but that's great, cause I wasn't doing that great a job before her...

Kelly's posts should be mandatory ready for newbies, and those of us who are farther down the line should read them too. They are always informative.

Great job Kelly!!!!