Need a non-weight related pep talk

No, no fear of failure... just weary and discouraged.  I honestly did not think it would take me so long to fini**** but when you are working full-time AND part-time, AND have a house and yard to care for, AND have school...  it's a slow process.  It's a longer process than my Master's degrees were, of course, and it does not have the same kind of camaraderie that I had with the other students in those programs.

If I had know how far the economy and job outlook in the counseling field (including for MSWs who are doing counseling and not case management types of activities) would slide, I probably would have chosen to complete a PhD in Classics or Ancient History.  I enjoy the subject matter more, I miss the Latin, and it would be just as useful (meaning not at all), LOL.

It is such a shame that GOOD counselors are being kept out of (or economically chased out of) the profession.  It's hard on many counselors, but for those of us who are single and solely repsonsible for the mortgage and bills, it is even harder (hence me keeping my IT job AND teh counseloign job ****il earlier this year when I was having such pain and took a leave of absence) while continuing to work on the PhD... I couldn't have done it any other way).

Lora

I did not know that about you. Congratulations on your accomplishments so far. I have (self-diagnosed, RNs are known for doing that) seasonal depression (after Christmas and winter).  Sometimes seeing the big picture, you can overwhelm yourself.  Can you break down your project into smaller weekly/biweekly goals and give yourself a realistic finishing goal? You may find after several weeks of accomplishing the smaller goals and feeling less stressed, you may be able to increase the pace, which may help you complete it before your original finishing goal.

Lora: 

What is the subject of your research?  I am very impressed with what you have accomplished so far.  You are so darn close to finishing that it seems inconceivable that you would not finish something that you have invested time, effort, $$ and energy. 

Can you revisit why you wanted your PhD in the first place?  Think back to the first blushes of enthusiasm when you began the program.  Could you be worried about ending this phase of your life?  Things will certainly change once this is is over, is that a bit upsetting to you?  Are you a "knock it out of the park" with a short deadline kind of girl?  (a/k/ creating a scenario where you have to complete things at the last minute b/c you work best under pressure)? 

Again, I am curious as to the subject of your research. 

I like Kelly's small goals idea....

Thanks, Nancy

I am definitely NOT someone who thrives on having to do something at the last minute!  I am an organizer and planner, and I like to have plenty of time to revise, reword, and perfect a paper before I submit it.  Actually I am really looking FORWARD to all of this ending... doing a PhD part-time is a seemingly never-ending process... and I am weary of the whole thing and having to juggle so many things in my life.

My dissertation is focused on various uses of the written word in trauma therapy (beyond the standard journaling types of techniques), with some examination of 1) the potential for written forms of communication to aid in the process of moving the traumatic memories from their current location in the brain into the section where normal, non-traumatic memories are stored (I am certified in EMDR, which, in part, aids in "moving" the memories), and 2) the manner in which finding (or creating!) words (which are very concrete) for the aspects of the trauma for which the client initially cannot PUT into words -- because the emotional aspect of the trauma is overwhelming -- aids in processing and healing the trauma.

Wow...  I have to tell you that just the process of writing out the above in order to answer your question has reminded me of how passionate I am about this topic... not only becasue of the potential practical, clinical applications, but because it is a topic on which there has been little contemporary attention/research, and because I think that some of my ideas/techniques have significant potential for publication.

Thank you so much for asking about my topic and giving me the opportunity to glimpse that passion again! 

Lora

I've done similar things in my life. I'm going to tell you that even though your tired, and probably sick of doing the work, you need to suck it up and finish what you started. Finishing gives you options. Quitting limits your options. Oh, and quitting gives you one more "woulda, coulda, shoulda regret to reflect on. You don't need that. Don't try to eat this elephant in one bite, but DO pick out a piece and start chewing. Besides, I may need you to treat me some time so get it in gear.

This worked for my classmates and me who were all going back to school for another degree(re-written just for you):

In a few years you are going to be 50. You can be 50 and a MA or 50 and a PhD.

My 95 year old cousin *****cently died always regretted not finishing her PhD. How long you want to regret dropping out?

Interesting... especially since I turn 50 in August {yikes!} (one day after my 5-year RNY surgiversary), and my goal is to have the dissertation done (even if my defense is not complete) by then.  The original plan was to have the PhD after my name by then, but... oh, well.

Lora

Lora,
The only thing that I can suggest cost a large company $25,000 many years ago. It was found that if you do the worst or most dreaded task first, then the remainder doesn't seem so difficult. You have come this far....the end is in site. Buck up ol'girl! You can do it!!
Regards, Rose

Lora,
I am ABD also doing my dissertation in Education with an emphasis on Higher Education. I know exactly how you feel!

Have you read Bird by Bird by Ann Lamott? It's worth your time to read it, it will encourage you to get to work on the dissertation.

I'm currently awaiting feedback from my chair to see what changes I'll need to make before I progress.

You can do this!

Thanks for the suggestion.   I'll check it out.

Good luck on YOUR paper.  Nice to know I'm not the only one...!

Lora