cheating
I also think it is critical to long-term success for us to change the way we think about food and drop the old dieting mentality that includes thinking of foods as "good" and "bad" and of our food choices in those types of terms. We have all experienced YEARS of dieting failure and the psychological ramifications of that. Being able to allow (or forgive ourselves for****asional indulgences helps free us from the frustration of a lifetime of being on "a diet" and to see that we truly CAN control food rather than allowing food to control us.
Lora
14 years out; 190 pounds lost, 165 pound loss maintained
You don't drown by falling in the water. You drown by staying there.
Please note: I AM NOT A DOCTOR. If you want medical advice, talk to your doctor. Whatever I post, there is probably some surgeon or other health care provider somewhere that disagrees with me. If you want to know what your surgeon thinks, then ask him or her. Check out my blog.
how do you know what is moderation? the "serving size" on the packaging?
Example... today I had 3 hershey kisses. Anymore and I would probably feel wretched from the sugar, but at 3 I did fine. I was feeling pretty guilty until I read this post... but I want to be careful to not rationalize my way into trouble.
Moderation is also about the frequency of consuming certain kinds of foods. Even if you only eat one cookie, it's not a good idea to eat a cookie every day. To me, that would also not be moderation.
Lora
14 years out; 190 pounds lost, 165 pound loss maintained
You don't drown by falling in the water. You drown by staying there.
Feeling guilty about what we eat does not help us. If it did, we would have lost weight without needing surgery, right? So I think the thing to do is to say "OK, I ate three hershey kisses and they were really yummy. Today I'm going to give my body healthy food with lots of nutrition and it will be yummy too." Don't worry about whether the three kisses were "moderation" or not. Just focus on today. And don't eat three kisses every day.
Please note: I AM NOT A DOCTOR. If you want medical advice, talk to your doctor. Whatever I post, there is probably some surgeon or other health care provider somewhere that disagrees with me. If you want to know what your surgeon thinks, then ask him or her. Check out my blog.
I think even printing out the simple statement that it is ok to have a small treat every now and then would be helpful. I am the kind of person who , before WLS, if I "failed" one time I would give up. I am a stronger person now, but it is still imperative I keep those potential pitfalls in mind. Portion, frequency and not believing I have failed (and if I do "mess up" it doesn't damn the whole process).
On every diet I've ever been on, they say something like, "If in the afternoon, you feel a need to snack, have six cashews." And my reaction is, "Six cashews? That's not a snack! That's a joke! I wasnt a whole bag of them! OR even better, a whole JAR!"
About two years ago, my wife (5-6 years out on her RNY) developed cravings for chocolate in the evening, after dinner. So had a nice fancy bar of 72% cocoa in the pantry, and each night she would take one square of it, and that was enough for her. I watched in awe, that anyone could possibly take one square and be satisfied.
That was when I began to develop an appreciation for how normal people eat. It is difficult to define exactly (like others in this thread have already written), but just as an example, a normal lunch at work is ONE sandwich, not the two or three that I needed to be satisfied.
Slowly, that appreciation developed into a real jealousy of people who can be satisfied with so little. And I thank God that when that jealousy got really really intense, that's when my doctor looked at my numbers and told me clearly, "It's not just a suggestion any more; you really need the surgery." And that's what pushed me over the edge.
I'm only two weeks out, but I am really hoping and praying that the surgery will be the tool I've needed to achieve the goal of eating like normal people do.