cheating

nilesmama08
on 12/25/11 4:36 am - Atlanta , GA
Awesome post! My goal is to eat like a normal person in moderation. Lately, there was been an attack on the vsg board for individuals that do not subscribe to a militant food regimen of no carbs, no fat, and etc. I will not set myself up for failure by eating tasteless foods! I track my meals daily and I stay within my calorie and carbs goals. I will continue my course!
    LW-Apple-Gold-Small.jpg image by PlicketyCat   I met my initial goal of 160!          
Cicerogirl, The PhD
Version

on 12/25/11 7:34 am, edited 12/24/11 11:14 pm - OH
You already know that I agree with you 100% on the importance of people developing an eating plan that they can successfully live with long-term, but for those who are new here...

I also think it is critical to long-term success for us to change the way we think about food and drop the old dieting mentality that includes thinking of foods as "good" and "bad" and of our food choices in those types of terms. We have all experienced YEARS of dieting failure and the psychological ramifications of that. Being able to allow (or forgive ourselves for****asional indulgences helps free us from the frustration of a lifetime of being on "a diet" and to see that we truly CAN control food rather than allowing food to control us.

Lora

14 years out; 190 pounds lost, 165 pound loss maintained

You don't drown by falling in the water. You drown by staying there.

poet_kelly
on 12/25/11 10:37 pm - OH
I agree completely.  Our old way of thinking did not help us.  I think changing out thinking is critical to our success with weight loss, but also to our ability to be happy and healthy.

View more of my photos at ObesityHelp.com          Kelly

Please note: I AM NOT A DOCTOR.  If you want medical advice, talk to your doctor.  Whatever I post, there is probably some surgeon or other health care provider somewhere that disagrees with me.  If you want to know what your surgeon thinks, then ask him or her.    Check out my blog.

 

LJ1972
on 12/25/11 7:37 am - FL
A sincere question:
how do you know what is moderation? the "serving size" on the packaging?
Example... today I had 3 hershey kisses. Anymore and I would probably feel wretched from the sugar, but at 3 I did fine. I was feeling pretty guilty until I read this post... but I want to be careful to not rationalize my way into trouble.
Cicerogirl, The PhD
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on 12/25/11 11:19 am, edited 12/24/11 11:20 pm - OH
Personally, I do NOT think "moderation" is a serving size as identified on packaging! If you buy a bag of M&Ms, for example, the BAG is one serving... but, for me, moderation is eating only 4 or 5. Also, with our small tummies, we shouldn't be eating full serving sizes of almost anything... except protein (deli meats come to mind).

Moderation is also about the frequency of consuming certain kinds of foods. Even if you only eat one cookie, it's not a good idea to eat a cookie every day. To me, that would also not be moderation.

Lora

14 years out; 190 pounds lost, 165 pound loss maintained

You don't drown by falling in the water. You drown by staying there.

LJ1972
on 12/25/11 11:36 am - FL
good point re: serving sizes.  I guess I was just reaching for something to use as an example.   Frequency is definitely a slippery slope as well for me, so I am going to try to get back on the "nothing for now" track.   Hopefully it will be as easy as it was from February '11 until now (Chocolate covered everything every where I go!)
poet_kelly
on 12/25/11 10:41 pm - OH
That is an EXCELLENT question.  I wish there was an easy answer to it.  I think the answer is, moderation means not eating a large amount and not eating it very often.  And I realize that is very vague.  I think many of us are used to thinking in absolutes, that black and white, good or bad kind of thinking.  So we want a black or white answer to that question.

Feeling guilty about what we eat does not help us.  If it did, we would have lost weight without needing surgery, right?  So I think the thing to do is to say "OK, I ate three hershey kisses and they were really yummy.  Today I'm going to give my body healthy food with lots of nutrition and it will be yummy too."  Don't worry about whether the three kisses were "moderation" or not.  Just focus on today.  And don't eat three kisses every day.

View more of my photos at ObesityHelp.com          Kelly

Please note: I AM NOT A DOCTOR.  If you want medical advice, talk to your doctor.  Whatever I post, there is probably some surgeon or other health care provider somewhere that disagrees with me.  If you want to know what your surgeon thinks, then ask him or her.    Check out my blog.

 

LJ1972
on 12/26/11 1:04 am - FL
thanks!  Black and white thinking is a major problem for me... my counselor is trying to introduce me to "grey" areas. I don't like them.  HA

   I think even printing out the simple statement that it is ok to have a small treat every now and then would be helpful.  I am the kind of person who , before WLS, if I "failed" one time I would give up.  I am a stronger person now, but it is still imperative I keep those potential pitfalls in mind.  Portion, frequency and not believing I have failed (and if I do "mess up" it doesn't damn the whole process).
Keeves
on 12/26/11 4:48 am - Elizabeth, NJ
My wife had RNY 7 1/2 years ago. For all that time, I knew that I needed it too, but I was very resistant and reluctant for various reasons. I'm now 2 weeks out, and I'm very confident that it is a good thing that I waited, because I was not psychologically ready yet. Here's what I mean:

On every diet I've ever been on, they say something like, "If in the afternoon, you feel a need to snack, have six cashews." And my reaction is, "Six cashews? That's not a snack! That's a joke! I wasnt a whole bag of them! OR even better, a whole JAR!"

About two years ago, my wife (5-6 years out on her RNY) developed cravings for chocolate in the evening, after dinner. So had a nice fancy bar of 72% cocoa in the pantry, and each night she would take one square of it, and that was enough for her. I watched in awe, that anyone could possibly take one square and be satisfied.

That was when I began to develop an appreciation for how normal people eat. It is difficult to define exactly (like others in this thread have already written), but just as an example, a normal lunch at work is ONE sandwich, not the two or three that I needed to be satisfied.

Slowly, that appreciation developed into a real jealousy of people who can be satisfied with so little. And I thank God that when that jealousy got really really intense, that's when my doctor looked at my numbers and told me clearly, "It's not just a suggestion any more; you really need the surgery." And that's what pushed me over the edge.

I'm only two weeks out, but I am really hoping and praying that the surgery will be the tool I've needed to achieve the goal of eating like normal people do.
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