Wanna know my dirty little secret?

(I like to eat.)

 

Seriously. I like to eat. Not that eati (or liking to eat) is a dirty secret for us all, but I think many of us have surgery so that we won’t want to eat so that we can lose weight.

 

I like to eat.

This means in the beginning of my journey I was pretty much tortured by my restriction. I hated it. I couldn’t eat. And I like to eat. I became depressed about that. I posted at length about it. I watched Food Network incessantly. I even timed my gym arrival to Rachel Ray’s “30 Minute Meals" to ensure I’d stay on the damn elliptical for 30 minutes. I liked watching food. I liked looking at it. I roamed grocery stores just to be in its presence. I started a blog!

 

I like to eat.

 

So when my eating capacity became larger, I was a bit scared but secretly happy as well. You mean I could eat my protein and STILL have room left for my favorite veggies. Hot damn! In the very beginning overeating always led to vomiting. These days it leads to a tummy ache that I don’t like so I avoid that, but then I can now eat enough to talk my brain off the ledge. It (my brain) needs to have a certain threshold met in order to feel like I’ve had a meal. Most of the time I achieve this by eating a whole lot of nothing (i.e. salad) with a bit of “something" (meat/shrimp) on top. My blog is filled with this strategy. Matter of fact, it wasn’t until I’d been blogging a good year before I realized that there are people who don’t feel the way I do. They LIKE the fact that they can’t eat much and revel in it. You people mystify me because…

 

I like to eat.

 

So I don’t skip meals. Ever. I rarely lose my appetite. Today is an exception to that rule. I did something to eff my system up (might be the very Lutheran dinner I attended last Sunday…if anything could do it, that could!). And even then I didn’t lose my appetite (I wasn’t hungry, but as we should all know post-op, hunger and appetite are often two different animals). It wasn’t until I had pushed it just a wee bit too far (meaning I tried to continue a normal meal plan with an effed up system, not that I was overeating) that I actually lost my appetite. But in general even when I have a cold, a headache, am sad, am frustrated, whatever…I usually have an appetite. I had the flu and an appetite post-op.

 

I like to eat.

 

I tell you this not to brag but to say that even though I like to eat, I have changed my behaviors a lot. I think as I’ve worked in earnest on my head issues, I’ve started to address some of those drivers that compelled me to eat when I shouldn’t.

 

I also point this out because I don’t think there’s anything WRONG with liking to eat. Obese people in general get a bad rep. Skinny people like to eat. They graze. They eat mindlessly. They do NOT catch as much hell about it as we do. I like to eat. Sometimes simply for the sake of eating. Sometimes because something smells good. Sometimes because I KNOW something is going to taste good. There’s nothing wrong with that. It’s human.

 

I know I can’t do that all or even most of the time. And I’d venture to guess I am 98.4% compliant with my plan. The rest of the time…

 

I like to eat. That is all.

Ya know, I like to eat too.  I have forgotten my kids at their activities but I have never forgotten a meal.  Just sayin'.

LMAO!!!

OMG this post is so ME. I LOVE to eat. Still. Even after being a year out. I also love that I can eat more now. I'm still learning what my limits are and I still have to learn the difference between head hunger and actual hunger. I'm also still learning about good snacks vs. bad snacks. I like eating everything!! I haven't lost a pound in 2 1/2 months. So yesterday, I downloaded a new app to my BlackBerry where I've been logging everything I eat & drink. And since I had to cancel my Y membership a couple of months ago, I'm also logging at-home exercises that I do....I mean, will do!

But thanks for that! Because I love to eat too.

Heh - I LOVE to eat, just not in the same amounts as before.

Sometimes, I admit, I miss being able to eat a whole cupcake or some other sugar laden treat that would probably kill me today.  I also miss being able to eat for good reasons, bad reasons and all the reasons in between some days. 

Overall though, I guess I am one of those grazer type people because my capacity never really increased, and if I didn't eat every two hours, I would drop.  I have to.  I can't eat more than 1.5 to 2 oz of anything at a time.  I still weigh my food every now and again to see if I can still eyeball that amount, and I am usually spot on.

I also enjoy the freedom not being able to eat large quantities gives me; for example, I bought a bag of the Walker's Shortbread star-shaped cookies.  I have a couple or so every day with my coffee.  Why?  Because for once, I can be satisfied with a couple.  they are no longer a "forbidden food" so I know I can eat them when I want to.  If that makes sense. 

No one understands what we go through on a daily basis, do they Nik?  I feel like a failure if the scale is up a pound from the day before.  I didn't feel that way when I was 100+ pounds overweight.  One pound kinda ruins my day some days.  

To the OP:  I really enjoy your posts and your style of writing.

YEah I know the feeling that was and still is my problem I like food. But I like being skinny a whole lot more lol so I am dealing with it along with the fears that I will stretch out the pouch and get big again. I sincerly hope i don't as I feel so much better now than when I was fat. Thanks for sharing

Ditto this 100%. I will always love food, good food, and eating it!

I actually like to eat more now, than prior to surgery. Meaning that I really eat door I like more often. Before surgery I ate quantity. It was about how much, not how good.

Now I am a food snob. I have very little real estate in there, so it's got to be good stuff. I enjoy the taste so much more now. Chewing it to mush isn't a problem, because it releases the flavors... And I simply enjoy the meal now.

I really love to eat also! Just in smaller quantities. Now it has to be really good for me to make room for it in the plan.