What's the worst that can happen?
Kelly's abuse post got me thinking. So often we operate on fear of something. Especially after WLS. We are afraid of failure. Hell, many of us are afraid (albeit more subconsciously) of success.
But have you ever taken the time to imagine up the worst case scenario? Not the "what of it" (i.e. I gain all my weight back) but the nitty gritty of it. The day-to-day, moment-to-moment actions that would carry you from where you are now to where you ar so afraid to be.
If you did, you'd see that the fears can get quite ridiculous. Like for me, I used to fear waking up one day and being 330 lbs. again and wondering what happened. Do you know how many days of grossly overeating that would take? How many days off OH? How many de-friendings on FB I'd have to do? How I'd have to shut down my blog and stop associating with nearly everyone dear to me?
Because in REALITY I've set myself up for continued success. I have an awesome support network, both here and in my day-to-day life. I have people who love me enough to call me on my BS. I have folks who look to me for recipes and ideas and I know that for me, that's worth a lot because I don't like letting folks down.
So in REALITY I can live my life in empowerment, not fear. Because the worst case scenario is one that is highly unlikely to happen. Granted I weaken my fear but I don't completely kill it. A small amount of worry about things is healthy. But for those who, like me, torture themselves with the worst case scenario, think about it.
Think about what it would take for you to get to that nightmare. If there is an easy road to that nightmare, put up a roadblock. If you don't have support, find some. If you don't have a plan, make one. Make it so that every road to failure is one mired in pitfalls and potholes.
It's sort of hard to fail when you make it hard to do so.
But have you ever taken the time to imagine up the worst case scenario? Not the "what of it" (i.e. I gain all my weight back) but the nitty gritty of it. The day-to-day, moment-to-moment actions that would carry you from where you are now to where you ar so afraid to be.
If you did, you'd see that the fears can get quite ridiculous. Like for me, I used to fear waking up one day and being 330 lbs. again and wondering what happened. Do you know how many days of grossly overeating that would take? How many days off OH? How many de-friendings on FB I'd have to do? How I'd have to shut down my blog and stop associating with nearly everyone dear to me?
Because in REALITY I've set myself up for continued success. I have an awesome support network, both here and in my day-to-day life. I have people who love me enough to call me on my BS. I have folks who look to me for recipes and ideas and I know that for me, that's worth a lot because I don't like letting folks down.
So in REALITY I can live my life in empowerment, not fear. Because the worst case scenario is one that is highly unlikely to happen. Granted I weaken my fear but I don't completely kill it. A small amount of worry about things is healthy. But for those who, like me, torture themselves with the worst case scenario, think about it.
Think about what it would take for you to get to that nightmare. If there is an easy road to that nightmare, put up a roadblock. If you don't have support, find some. If you don't have a plan, make one. Make it so that every road to failure is one mired in pitfalls and potholes.
It's sort of hard to fail when you make it hard to do so.
RNY Gastric Bypass 1-8-08 350/327/200 (HW/SW/CW). I spend most of my time playing with my food over at Bariatric Foodie - check me out!
I truly appreciate this post and think it's something that lots of people needed to hear (or read). Sure, I understand fearing regain and going back toward where I was before... but bottom line is that it can only happen if I let it. I don't claim to be super-human and free of weaknesses and issues, but I do know that if I want to maintain my weightloss, it's in MY HANDS.
I'm not going to blink and be back where I was before... so honestly, agonizing over it and letting that be my reason for angst and bad behavior is self-indulgent in the worst way. We have been given an opportunity to overcome (or at the least, improve upon) a situation (high body weight) which was not only unhealthy physically, but also mentally for most. Anything worth having is worth fighting for... so buck up, and do what you need to do to maintain that loss.
Things won't always be perfect... and I won't say I'll never regain any weight. What I WILL say is that what happens with me is up to me. If I want to be uber-vigilant about food and exercise and maintain at my lowest (or attain my ultimate goal), I can do it. If I allow myself to live a little less stringently in terms of exercise and food quality, then I've consciously made the decision to let myself gain a bit of weight. The beauty is that nothing is binding... at any time, I can change my mind and go in a different direction.
Drop the fear... live your life. If you let your fear of regain steal your happiness in your daily life, you've missed the point.
Believe in yourselves... and love your life.
tori
I'm not going to blink and be back where I was before... so honestly, agonizing over it and letting that be my reason for angst and bad behavior is self-indulgent in the worst way. We have been given an opportunity to overcome (or at the least, improve upon) a situation (high body weight) which was not only unhealthy physically, but also mentally for most. Anything worth having is worth fighting for... so buck up, and do what you need to do to maintain that loss.
Things won't always be perfect... and I won't say I'll never regain any weight. What I WILL say is that what happens with me is up to me. If I want to be uber-vigilant about food and exercise and maintain at my lowest (or attain my ultimate goal), I can do it. If I allow myself to live a little less stringently in terms of exercise and food quality, then I've consciously made the decision to let myself gain a bit of weight. The beauty is that nothing is binding... at any time, I can change my mind and go in a different direction.
Drop the fear... live your life. If you let your fear of regain steal your happiness in your daily life, you've missed the point.
Believe in yourselves... and love your life.
tori
Has anyone been in the middle of weight loss and felt like this isn't going to work for them even though you are doing all the right moves.. I am a month out had a freak accident and scalded my ankle and cant exercise right now and I feel i am in my critical time to lose weight. I feel like I have been stuck at 30lbs loss 22 the first week of surgery.. I know it didn't take over night to put it on but it has been with me for over 20years.. i have been at this weight.. I lost what i recently gained right away.. somewhere deep down i feel like I am going to be the one RNY that just didn't take. There have been a lot of DS people posting did i make the right decision. I am sure this ankle injury has got a hold of my emotions pretty hard but I don't feel the loss.
Nikki
I think Nik's note above is something which could be applied to various areas in life, not just weight loss surgery. Fall back fear can be very depilitating, life stalling, and door closing. Especially without a support network, or accountability (online or face-to-face). Making a commitment to not live life staring in the rear view mirror is the first step. Not getting hung up on what isn't happening this second is the second, and finding a close person to confide in I would say is definately a third.
Now I have a new topic for a blog.... :)
Now I have a new topic for a blog.... :)
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