Poll about obesity and history of abuse
Incidents that took place over a period of years.
I was a normal weight until age 7, when I was sent to live with my uncle. He was very controlling in terms of food. If I refused to eat something, he would make my aunt serve it to me for breakfast after it sat out all night. There were times when I threw up in my plate and he would make me eat that too. He broke a wooden paddle beating me with it. The dog pooped on the floor and he rubbed his wife's nose in it. He was a very large, scary man.
My mother had various boyfriends who were abusive in different ways.
My dad repeatedly told me I was so ugly a dog wouldn't **** me.
I think being forced to 'clean your plate' is a hard habit to break. I think some of my weight was from emotional eating and some from poor choices. I do think genetics predisposed me to gaining easily. I have severe depression and I think some of it is rooted in the past abuse.
Physical and Emotional Abuse by my step-father
Was it a single incident or something that took place over a period of time?
From age 3 to age 16
Did you become overweight before the abuse took place, during the same time period, or later on?
I never dealt with obesity until my mid 20's. I used eating to cope with stress and because of food being withheld as a punishment growing up, I always ate like it was my last meal. Growing up I didn't know when I'd be "allowed" to eat again so I'd binge to prepare.
Do you think the experience of abuse played a role in your weight? Can you briefly say why or why not?
Definately. I just learned bad eating habits because of my childhood trauma AND I definately used it as a drug during times of stress.
HW 254 SW 242 CW 148
**Down 106 pounds from highest weight!**
Not by an adult, but severely bullied physically, and emotionally by peers. I also had one very significantly impacting single episode of emotional abuse by an aunt.
Single or over time?
From age seven through 13. Once by adult at age 8.
I was a bit of a chubby kid before, and that was the "reason" for the bullying (the articulated one, but I have come to understand that it was more complicated than that). But when I look back on pictures of me at six, seven, eight, I was a healthy kid with a tiny bit of extra weight. I'm wasn't anything near an "obese child" especially how the media portrays it today.
Do I think it played a role? Yes, absolutely. I internalized a lot of that bullying and began to self-construct as The Fat Kid. I entered a terrible cycle of self-loathing and failed to build a healthy self-image. As a latchkey kid, I learned to medicate my emotional distress with food when I got home in the alone time after school.
Do you have a history of abuse of some sort? If so, and if you feel comfortable sharing, was it physical abuse, sexual abuse or emotional abuse?
Yes, I suffered physical, sexual, and emotional abuse
Was it a single incident or something that took place over a period of time?
It took place over a period of 3 years and one was a "family" member and was a single incident on a school bus.
Did you become overweight before the abuse took place, during the same time period, or later on?
I was slightly overweight all my life.
Do you think the experience of abuse played a role in your weight? Can you briefly say why or why not?
I think it definitely played a role in how I carry myself and what i have focused on. I never wanted to be pretty or take care of my appearance. Even now i don't really know how to respond to compliments of responses of attraction. It's something new to me.
I never really used food as a comfort. My thing was never dressing well or dressing with the purpose of hiding.
Do you have a history of abuse of some sort? If so, and if you feel comfortable sharing, was it physical abuse, sexual abuse or emotional abuse?
Extensive childhood sexual abuse; emotional abuse; neglect; adult rape / sexually abusive relationship for 3yrs including emotional abuse. Resulting in Major Depression, PTSD and some other "labels"
Was it a single incident or something that took place over a period of time?
Over time for all of it
toddler - 15yrs
22yrs - 26yrs of age
Did you become overweight before the abuse took place, during the same time period, or later on?
I started gaining weight in high school, but I really put on the pounds after ending the abusive adult relationship.
Do you think the experience of abuse played a role in your weight? Can you briefly say why or why not?
Yes, overall I think the abuse and neglect played a big part; food was comfort and company when I was lonely or depressed. I reached a point where I was terrified of being seen as a sexual being.... fat covered that up.
Do you have a history of abuse of some sort? If so, and if you feel comfortable sharing, was it physical abuse, sexual abuse or emotional abuse?
Yes. Not surprising to people who have known me here for a long time, the abuse was at the hands of my mother. She was a drug addict/alcoholic when I was a child and beat me often and badly. I was removed from her home several times throughout my childhood.
Was it a single incident or something that took place over a period of time?
When I was returned to my mother's home at age 12 it was with the stern warning that she'd spend a LOT of time in jail if I was found to be bruised at her hand again. But before that it was from age 7'ish up to 12.
Did you become overweight before the abuse took place, during the same time period, or later on?
I've been overweight my whole life. I was well over 9 lbs. at birth and always was ahead of the curve weight wise.
Do you think the experience of abuse played a role in your weight? Can you briefly say why or why not?
I think I am genetically pre-disposed to be overweight. I think I was morbidly obese, in part, because of the abuse. I was afraid all the time. The only time I really felt joy as a child was in eating. I'd sneak food all the time just to take some of the stress off. I never knew when my next beating would come or why it would happen. In such an environment the monotony of chewing and the continuous pleasure of a good taste were about the only escape I had from a life that was very much ruled by fear.
Not surprisingly, as soon as I could get out I did. I moved at age 17 and never went back. Unfortunately I did not leave my food issues behind at my old home. My mom has been clean and sober over 20 years now and I think in her mind she's made ammends. To me, we have the very best relationship we are capable of having given our history and that just needs to be enough. These days I am not silent anymore about having a need for me time or for having fun. I think that's part of what kept me eating. Even as an adult I get afraid of senseless things and I turn to food to make me feel safe and like there are good things in life. Half the battle is recognizing that the big bad wolf can't get you. The worst has already happened and guess what? You survived it!
Good poll Kelly.
RNY Gastric Bypass 1-8-08 350/327/200 (HW/SW/CW). I spend most of my time playing with my food over at Bariatric Foodie - check me out!
- Yes, sexual abuse by a very close family member from the age of six
Was it a single incident or something that took place over a period of time?
- Definitely over time. It continued until I was in early teenage years and was able to not be around the abuser as often. I was old enough to kind of control my exposure to him a little but not always.
Did you become overweight before the abuse took place, during the same time period, or later on?
- Both during that time (I was rewarded with treats for my compliance and for being so good at keeping secrets) and later. As I got older and came into puberty, I gained massive amounts of weight.
Do you think the experience of abuse played a role in your weight? Can you briefly say why or why not?
- Absolutely. When I was a teenager, I knew if I made myself unattractive enough, no one would want to touch me so that meant to me at the time that no one could hurt me.
