You have the tools...will you use them?
Sorry to get all existential on a Saturday night, but I had the most interesting conversation yesterday with a post-op. This person (not on OH...someone from IRL) is a few years out and has regained and is feeling awful about it. And I was trying to encourage her UNTIL she said the following:
"It's so unfair. It's like I can't stop the scale from going up!"
To which I replied, "sure you can." To which she gave me a look like she was deeply hurt. It wasn't an accusation at all, but I wonder if we all know, in those moments of fear about our weight not coming off or about it coming back on that we really DO possess all the tools we need to keep the scale at bay? Really we do.
I mean, granted, there is the notorious "bounce" (for some of us...not all of us). But we do even have some measure of control over that. Even me. I've regained. I could do what it takes to get down below my low weight. For my own personal reasons I choose to maintain.
But none of us are powerless. None of us are without options. The "scale" is not the enemy nor are our bodies completely out of our control. It's a matter of how far you are willing to go to achieve your the goal you set before yourself. Sometimes it's a good idea, holistically, to chase that dream until the end. Sometimes not. Only you can say.
But you are driving the ship. You have the tools you need to achieve and maintain success. The perception of powerlessness can fuel really bad things. So don't let go of your power.
K?
"It's so unfair. It's like I can't stop the scale from going up!"
To which I replied, "sure you can." To which she gave me a look like she was deeply hurt. It wasn't an accusation at all, but I wonder if we all know, in those moments of fear about our weight not coming off or about it coming back on that we really DO possess all the tools we need to keep the scale at bay? Really we do.
I mean, granted, there is the notorious "bounce" (for some of us...not all of us). But we do even have some measure of control over that. Even me. I've regained. I could do what it takes to get down below my low weight. For my own personal reasons I choose to maintain.
But none of us are powerless. None of us are without options. The "scale" is not the enemy nor are our bodies completely out of our control. It's a matter of how far you are willing to go to achieve your the goal you set before yourself. Sometimes it's a good idea, holistically, to chase that dream until the end. Sometimes not. Only you can say.
But you are driving the ship. You have the tools you need to achieve and maintain success. The perception of powerlessness can fuel really bad things. So don't let go of your power.
K?
RNY Gastric Bypass 1-8-08 350/327/200 (HW/SW/CW). I spend most of my time playing with my food over at Bariatric Foodie - check me out!
Hear, hear! Great post.
HW: 260 - Consult: 241 - SW: 239 - CW: 206 - GW: 140
There are three kinds of men. The one that learns by reading. The few who learn by observation. The rest of them have to pee on the electric fence for themselves.
Will Rogers
I agree with you.
I think a lot of us feel powerless over food and our weight. Most of us had experiences of wanting to lose weight and not being able to do so successfully, for whatever reasons. And so it makes sense that we'd be afraid that would happen again.
I recently gained a little weight back. I really believe it was due to a medication change. I think I posted that I'd gained about eight pounds, but I gained a few more after that. And was not eager to tell anyone because I felt bad about it. It was 13 pounds, and I was still five pounds below goal. But I was afraid, even after the meds were adjusted, that I was just going to keep gaining. And yeah, I felt pretty powerless for a little while there.
Finally I reminded myself that my RNY still works. I still have my tool and it still works. I had started eating more carbs and allowing myself more treats than I did early post op. But until the medication issue recently, I was maintaining while doing those things. But I thought about how I was able to lose weight after my surgery and the things I did and I know they work, because I did them and I lost weight. So I decided those things should still work now and I cut back on the carbs and treats (didn't cut anything out altogether, just cut back) and so far I'm back down four pounds. And I'm thrilled.
And I don't really care about the weight, since I'm still below goal, but I care about feeling like I have some power over it all.
So thanks for getting existential.
I think a lot of us feel powerless over food and our weight. Most of us had experiences of wanting to lose weight and not being able to do so successfully, for whatever reasons. And so it makes sense that we'd be afraid that would happen again.
I recently gained a little weight back. I really believe it was due to a medication change. I think I posted that I'd gained about eight pounds, but I gained a few more after that. And was not eager to tell anyone because I felt bad about it. It was 13 pounds, and I was still five pounds below goal. But I was afraid, even after the meds were adjusted, that I was just going to keep gaining. And yeah, I felt pretty powerless for a little while there.
Finally I reminded myself that my RNY still works. I still have my tool and it still works. I had started eating more carbs and allowing myself more treats than I did early post op. But until the medication issue recently, I was maintaining while doing those things. But I thought about how I was able to lose weight after my surgery and the things I did and I know they work, because I did them and I lost weight. So I decided those things should still work now and I cut back on the carbs and treats (didn't cut anything out altogether, just cut back) and so far I'm back down four pounds. And I'm thrilled.
And I don't really care about the weight, since I'm still below goal, but I care about feeling like I have some power over it all.
So thanks for getting existential.
Kelly
Please note: I AM NOT A DOCTOR. If you want medical advice, talk to your doctor. Whatever I post, there is probably some surgeon or other health care provider somewhere that disagrees with me. If you want to know what your surgeon thinks, then ask him or her. Check out my blog.
It is my firm belief that we each have the power to overcome any obstacles in our lives. All it takes is a willing heart and a mind set on attaining the goals set before us. I do not accept that we cannot be successful because of (fill in the blank). I have had a lot of adversity during my lifetime. Going through these times have made me stronger and given me purpose. Setbacks are opportunities. Don't accept the status quo and don't give up! If you fall, pick yourself up and keep on keeping on. 
Age at RNY: 55, Height: 5'4", Consultation Weight: 331 lbs-12/1/2009, RNY Surgery Weight: 281 lbs-3/22/2010, Goal Weight Reached: 141 lbs-6/23/2011, Lowest Weight: 126 lbs-12/11/2011,
Current Age: 61, Current Weight: 161 lbs-5/20/2016, Total Weight Loss Maintained: 170 lbs 
Excellent post, I agree. For me, gaining is something I don't anticipate happening. I realize some struggle more than others but I believe if we are committed to remaining successful then it's not going to happen.
I am a self pay and I paid for plastic surgery too. Any large regain is something I can control.
I am a self pay and I paid for plastic surgery too. Any large regain is something I can control.
Proximal RNY Lap - 02/21/05
9 years committed ~ 100% EWL and Maintaining
www.dazzlinglashesandbeyond.com
BRAVO !!! 
Perfect message for today. I'm in the middle of writing up my one-year post-op report and self-reflection for my bariatric doc appt next week. This is exactly where I'm at. Been in a stall since July. Still about 30 pounds from goal. So, I'm recommitteing to sharpening my tools and avoiding the "creep" into old habits. This new body and health is TOO GOOD to trash. Thanks, as always, for all your thoughts, OHers --- fellow travelers!
Most Active
Recent Topics
