Nik's armchair sermon o' the day: The Chorus

As you all probably know (from me saying it incessantly), on Wednesday nights I go to church — but not just for dinner. No, while the old ladies serve up a feast to rival my mother’s best home cooking, we also go for church service too.

 

And it never fails. We always get to that portion of the service where we recite the Lord’s Prayer in unison. For the most part, all of us recite those old, traditional words everyone knows, “Our Father, who art in heaven. Hallowed be thy name…" But there is always that one person who, more robustly than the rest of us, insists on saying the contemporary version “Our Father in heaven. Hallowed is your name…"

 

I used to get irritated at that person (Although I don’t know who it is) for two main reasons. First, they messed me up! As soon as I heard their deviation from the traditional prayer, I’d start to trip up my words and, embarrassed, I’d drop my voice an octave. It seemed an unnecessary deviance that ended up silencing me. Second, because of them, I fell out of unison with everyone else who was saying the prayer my way.

 

Friends, especially my pre-op friends, by virtue of our surgeries we are changing our lifestyles, turning our worlds completely upside down. And while the work we do will likely have a positive impact on those we love, it is our journey, not theirs.

 

And there will likely be people who do deviant things, seemingly just to mess you up. And there will be times when you feel like you’re not even keeping up with your own “pack," not losing what others lost at the three week, four month, six month marks.

 

But in the end here’s what you have to remember: just as you alone are embarking on this journey, this journey is for you alone. Sure, your spouse, children and friends may find some benefit, but at the end of the day you did this for you — so that you could be healthier, stronger, more well-balanced and, hopefully, a better person all around for them to know and depend on.

 

Last night in church I realized something. The only reason I got tripped up by that so-called deviant person is because I was spending so much time listening to them and not enough listening to me. When I focused inward, I had no problem reciting the words I knew so well. And when I focused on me, and not the other folks saying the same words as me, I came into perfect harmony with them.

 

So even when it seems as if the whole world is moving in the opposite direction of you, take heart. Focus on where you are going, not them. And when it seems like the rest of your tribe is somewhere else, focus on the steps you are taking — you’ll find your way back to them.

 

Because in the end, that old adage is true. You can’t control what everyone else does. You can only control you.

 

If you invest the time, truly invest the time, in controlling you, in learning you, in improving you, you’ll find that where you are is exactly where you need to be, where you’re supposed to be and maybe even where you want to be.

 

Have a good day, my loves!

Love, love, love this. So true Nik!

So very true ... Amen!

Very true...It reminds me of the Bible verse about complaining about the speck in someones eye when you have a log in your own.  (paraphrased)

Can you come preach this to my daughter. (or maybe I can borrow it.)  She is always upset about what other people are doing to mess her up.

That was our verse last night in church!!!

And it's so true. Get the log out of your own eye THEN worry about someone else.

My youngest did that song and dance last night and I had to have a heart to heart with her.

She still didn't get it. But I tried.

Great post, Nik. Focusing on my own journey and staying in the present... Keeps me calmer.

 "You can’t control what everyone else does. You can only control you. 

If you invest the time, truly invest the time, in controlling you, in learning you, in improving you, you’ll find that where you are is exactly where you need to be, where you’re supposed to be and maybe even where you want to be."

Thank you Niki, for those words of wisdom.  I truly needed to hear something like that today.  You're absolutely right.  Thank you. 

First let me say, I don't post often, but have been on the boards long before my surgery almost 2 years ago. 

There are a few people who when i see they've posted or replied, I will always read -- you being one of them.

I really needed to see it put just this way.  I don't think i've ever read words regarding this journey more true and truly concise!

Thank you, just what I needed today!

Well said!

Wow!! Timely and wise, dear Nik!!!

And there will likely be people who do deviant things, seemingly just to mess you up.
 This!!  Today my parents invited me to their home for lunch, they were bringing it in from a great local restaurant. My to go plate?  BBQ Ribs, a huge chunk of bread and half a baked potato.
*sigh*
The only reason I got tripped up by that so-called deviant person is because I was spending so much time listening to them and not enough listening to me. When I focused inward, I had no problem reciting the words I knew so well. And when I focused on me, and not the other folks saying the same words as me, I came into perfect harmony with them.

 I think I'll print this part out and carry it around with me.  Seriously.