Treating obesity when you are no longer obese
This is a hard one for me. I like to distance myself from the old me as much as possible...but still remember what it was like to be her? I dunno. I think looking at old pictures, or heck, even other obese people, who are still obese reminds me quickly of what I was and what I can return to if I eat one more Oreo too many times. I don't want to go back to that, and its enough for me. I don't need to grapple with it daily though.
I like to think making healthy choices for life, will keep me healthy and thin. Only time will tell if that is true or not.
I like to think making healthy choices for life, will keep me healthy and thin. Only time will tell if that is true or not.
What is funny is that I don't fear regaining the weight back. Up until today every time I have lost weight I have regained it, including with WLS. So I just kind of expect it. I hope that doesn't seem as depressing or fatalistic as it sounds. It's kind of like having cancer. You just know it can always return. You live with it. Not out of fear but as a reminder of how fragile life is and how lucky you are to be where you are at. I do what I can today. That is all. I have no control over tomorrow except what I can do today to make it better.
I know the reality of my disease. I thought I had it beat several times and I was wrong. So I have a healthy respect for it. It is bigger then me and if it takes hold of me again I am powerless to stop it. But there are things I can do today so that it doesn't take a hold of me again. I can avoid my trigger foods, the ones that started me back on the road to destructive eating. I can recognize the thoughts that lead up to me eating those things. I am also an alcoholic. I have been sober for 30 years by the grace of God. I have a healthy respect for alcohol. I treat it like poison and I don't let it back into my life, just like I wouldn't left a predator into my house. I treat sugar the same way. The fact that I dump helps reconfirm this thinking. I have my past experience to draw on. It is my most valuable asset. Whenever those thoughts come around I play the tape all the way through.
I know what the stats are. I am not arrogant enough to think that I will beat them. I know that I managed to out eat a surgery that had much better stats. I never get complacent, at least not today. I never know what will happen tomorrow.
I know the reality of my disease. I thought I had it beat several times and I was wrong. So I have a healthy respect for it. It is bigger then me and if it takes hold of me again I am powerless to stop it. But there are things I can do today so that it doesn't take a hold of me again. I can avoid my trigger foods, the ones that started me back on the road to destructive eating. I can recognize the thoughts that lead up to me eating those things. I am also an alcoholic. I have been sober for 30 years by the grace of God. I have a healthy respect for alcohol. I treat it like poison and I don't let it back into my life, just like I wouldn't left a predator into my house. I treat sugar the same way. The fact that I dump helps reconfirm this thinking. I have my past experience to draw on. It is my most valuable asset. Whenever those thoughts come around I play the tape all the way through.
I know what the stats are. I am not arrogant enough to think that I will beat them. I know that I managed to out eat a surgery that had much better stats. I never get complacent, at least not today. I never know what will happen tomorrow.
WLS 10/28/2002 Revision 7/23/2010
High Weight (2002) 240 Revision Weight (2010) 220 Current Weight 115.
I struggle with this daily, in a sense at least. My whole family is big (immediate family). I know how they feel when they try to move around. However, I have been dubbed "skinny butt" and "stick woman" ...it's a laughable matter at my house as I'm the one who weighs in as the lightest on my good days.
I try not to forget where I came from and how I felt when I was the old me. I have a very hard time biting my tongue when new post-ops ask for advise about certain foods. Particularly when they skip a food stage and then want sympathy because they're vomiting at 3 or 5 or whatever weeks. I had to gnaw on my foot about a month ago though, I came in contact a person who told me about 3 years ago that they were going to have RNY while I was at the hospital for my moms back surgery. They looked like they'd gained weight and not lost any so stupid me spat out "so when is your RNY? are you still going to go through with it?" ..they were 2.5 years post op. Open mouth....insert foot....enjoy the protein!
I try not to forget where I came from and how I felt when I was the old me. I have a very hard time biting my tongue when new post-ops ask for advise about certain foods. Particularly when they skip a food stage and then want sympathy because they're vomiting at 3 or 5 or whatever weeks. I had to gnaw on my foot about a month ago though, I came in contact a person who told me about 3 years ago that they were going to have RNY while I was at the hospital for my moms back surgery. They looked like they'd gained weight and not lost any so stupid me spat out "so when is your RNY? are you still going to go through with it?" ..they were 2.5 years post op. Open mouth....insert foot....enjoy the protein!
RNY - August 13, 2010
LBL - October 29, 2012
a total of 271 lbs lost!!
Deals and bargains. I feel like I'm always making deals and bargains with myself. Ok, I'm feeling better, I can eat more, I am not regaining (22 mos out)... and I am exercising.
I have a skinny friend. She is a runner. We had this conversation, back when I was MO. I asked her how she did it? How did she overcome the desire to just stay in bed? She said, matter of factly, that she just knows that if she doesn't go out and run 5 days out of seven that she doesn't feel good! It was at that point that I realized she is totally a horse of a different color. She exercises for the sake of exercising and how it makes her feel. It is unrelated to food. It is not a bargain - if I exercise this much I can eat this much. I believe my friend is mentally healthy, not an addict.
Inertia (an object at rest tends to stay at rest unless moved by an outside force; or, an object in motion tends to stay in motion unless stopped by an outside force) is something to consider. I do enough exercising now that I actually feel better, and miss it if I don't. It would take only missing for a few days, and that yawning comfort zone of no activity would sink its claws into me again.
So, what am I saying? Part of recovery is learning to treat exercise as its own thing - no matter how big or small I may be. And somehow, if I can keep the inertia going of being an object in motion, everything else will take care of itself. A huge part of becoming obese was giving up on activity until it became too hard to move!
So, I had a fantasy of a "normal person" - someone I could be like, someone I could eat like, someone I could exercise like. But I am not normal - and I don't see that I can be. Your right - it sucks to carry this baggage.
My therapist (a 12 stepper) says that recovery from addiction is the art of becoming comfortable with being uncomfortable. YEAH! I am uncomfortable a lot of the time because I'm not diving into meatball subs, or pizza,or whatever. But the farther out I get, so far, the more comfortable I am becoming with this discomfort. Does that make sense?
I have moved from being in a state where I was in fear of every bite that crossed my lips because somehow 100 lbs was going to jump on me when I wasn't looking, and daily weigh ins, to kinda sorta enjoying that I can eat a bit more now, that I'm enjoying my exercise for its own sake, and that I'm not obsessing every minute in fear of regain. BUT, I sure do know that if I did happen to gain 5 lbs that terror would return.
What do people say to themselves when they gain a few pounds?
I have a skinny friend. She is a runner. We had this conversation, back when I was MO. I asked her how she did it? How did she overcome the desire to just stay in bed? She said, matter of factly, that she just knows that if she doesn't go out and run 5 days out of seven that she doesn't feel good! It was at that point that I realized she is totally a horse of a different color. She exercises for the sake of exercising and how it makes her feel. It is unrelated to food. It is not a bargain - if I exercise this much I can eat this much. I believe my friend is mentally healthy, not an addict.
Inertia (an object at rest tends to stay at rest unless moved by an outside force; or, an object in motion tends to stay in motion unless stopped by an outside force) is something to consider. I do enough exercising now that I actually feel better, and miss it if I don't. It would take only missing for a few days, and that yawning comfort zone of no activity would sink its claws into me again.
So, what am I saying? Part of recovery is learning to treat exercise as its own thing - no matter how big or small I may be. And somehow, if I can keep the inertia going of being an object in motion, everything else will take care of itself. A huge part of becoming obese was giving up on activity until it became too hard to move!
So, I had a fantasy of a "normal person" - someone I could be like, someone I could eat like, someone I could exercise like. But I am not normal - and I don't see that I can be. Your right - it sucks to carry this baggage.
My therapist (a 12 stepper) says that recovery from addiction is the art of becoming comfortable with being uncomfortable. YEAH! I am uncomfortable a lot of the time because I'm not diving into meatball subs, or pizza,or whatever. But the farther out I get, so far, the more comfortable I am becoming with this discomfort. Does that make sense?
I have moved from being in a state where I was in fear of every bite that crossed my lips because somehow 100 lbs was going to jump on me when I wasn't looking, and daily weigh ins, to kinda sorta enjoying that I can eat a bit more now, that I'm enjoying my exercise for its own sake, and that I'm not obsessing every minute in fear of regain. BUT, I sure do know that if I did happen to gain 5 lbs that terror would return.
What do people say to themselves when they gain a few pounds?
Interesting dialog so far. I'm only four months out, and I honestly have no idea what my future holds. When I look back at my previous life, I clearly see the patterns of a sedentary life with no exercises, and the compulsion to eat cakes and pies for comfort. What I don't see, and have never seen or felt is obesity. Until very recently, I always felt normal sized. I knew I was obese, but that didn't define me until I hit my 40's and moved into the SMO category. When I gained enough weight to complicate my health, my energy, my sex life, and my overall happiness, I decided it was time to take drastic action and I had RNY. What does my future hold? I have no idea. I'm down to 269 lbs now and feel great, have tons of energy, have no health issues, and am kicking it old school in the bedroom. I'm nervous everyday about re-gain and about getting back to a super unhealthy place, but since I'm still in the honeymoon phase and still losing, I'm happy. Maybe I'll carry obesity around forever, or maybe I'll go on feeling like the me that I've always felt like. Just a normal (albeit incredibly handsome) guy. Only time will tell.
HW: 418 SW: 386 CW: 225 GW: 210 
"I see a lot of people, despite their declarations of undying passion for all things health related, slacking off in the years after their weight loss surgery."
I have avoided this -- so far -- mostly by being realistic from day one about what I would and would not be able to commit to doing long-term (related to both exercise and food) and not deluding myself into believing that I would do anything different. So I have NEVER made anything even close to a declaration of passion about exercise... nor do I have any foods that are prohibited.
What I HAVE done, however, is to recognize that WLS did not change the fact that I take after my father's side of the family (which is filled with large-busted women and obesity), that I hate exercise (I don't think I have any endorphins, LOL), that I am still working on the psychological issues that contributed to my obesity, and that the only way I will be able to keep my weight under control is to control what I eat.... but I don't feel at all "chained" to my former self... I just acknowledge my history of obesity the same way I acknowledge my history of DVTs. I very much try to eat a healthy diet, always keep my meals and snacks protein-heavy, and limit the amount of processed foods... but I also allow myself treats. I also have my 5-pound weight-gain limit
plan/procedure to help keep me from gaining the weight back.
The only people I discarded from my life after losing the weight were people who were toxic (and therefore not people I would ever attempt to reestablish a relationship with, even if I were to gain weight back).
Lora
I have avoided this -- so far -- mostly by being realistic from day one about what I would and would not be able to commit to doing long-term (related to both exercise and food) and not deluding myself into believing that I would do anything different. So I have NEVER made anything even close to a declaration of passion about exercise... nor do I have any foods that are prohibited.
What I HAVE done, however, is to recognize that WLS did not change the fact that I take after my father's side of the family (which is filled with large-busted women and obesity), that I hate exercise (I don't think I have any endorphins, LOL), that I am still working on the psychological issues that contributed to my obesity, and that the only way I will be able to keep my weight under control is to control what I eat.... but I don't feel at all "chained" to my former self... I just acknowledge my history of obesity the same way I acknowledge my history of DVTs. I very much try to eat a healthy diet, always keep my meals and snacks protein-heavy, and limit the amount of processed foods... but I also allow myself treats. I also have my 5-pound weight-gain limit
plan/procedure to help keep me from gaining the weight back.
The only people I discarded from my life after losing the weight were people who were toxic (and therefore not people I would ever attempt to reestablish a relationship with, even if I were to gain weight back).
Lora
14 years out; 190 pounds lost, 165 pound loss maintained
You don't drown by falling in the water. You drown by staying there.
Great discussion! I'm not near maintenance but I think about it quite a bit.
Being within sight of my goal weight, I'm working hard to inch my way down
and set limits and listen to my body....enough food, enough fats, enough
work or exercise etc. I will always be aware of my history of obesity and use
it to make better choices, but that doesn't mean for me that I will be living in
the shadow of my former obese self for all time. Being mo is simply another
layer of "me", like all the life experiences that comprise me to date. I get to
choose to learn from it and use it to my advantage...or not.
Being within sight of my goal weight, I'm working hard to inch my way down
and set limits and listen to my body....enough food, enough fats, enough
work or exercise etc. I will always be aware of my history of obesity and use
it to make better choices, but that doesn't mean for me that I will be living in
the shadow of my former obese self for all time. Being mo is simply another
layer of "me", like all the life experiences that comprise me to date. I get to
choose to learn from it and use it to my advantage...or not.
Jan
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