Go ahead...say it...you know you want to...
Clearly, I should have turned to OH to help me out when the wife of my son's baseball coach begged me not to have surgery because God has already given me everything I need to lose the weight. Why mess with the perfection I was born with? I can't remember a time I didn't have a come back for something someone said to me, but that one left me with my mouth hanging open and nothing coming out.
Start weight 263 Surgery weight 247
Dear Jealous Friend,
I'm terribly sorry you lost weight only to regain it and then some. I've only done that like five zillion times in my life. However, my weight loss and subsequent success keeping it off is, despite your deepest certainty, not a personal affront to you. Neither was my having plastic surgery to remove the after affects of YEARS of morbid obesity. I'd think you'd be nothing less than thrilled for me. But nooooo, you decided it was appropriate to comment on how my thighs (which I'd already told you were swollen from holding extra fluid) sure looked big compared to the rest of me and how my scar was going to be horrible. Really? I thought having a wound that circumferences my entire waist would leave a pretty scar. I guess when your tits finally stick past your big belly you can critique my body, but until then **** you.
Love,
Denise
Check out my blog--menumealplanning.com. Tales of making meal planning managable, family fodder, and everything else under the sun.
RNY 2/3/09, LBL/BL w/Augmentation 9/16/11
Start weight: 335 Current weight: 185 Goal weight: Whatever the hell I can maintain without driving myself insane!
*6.5 lost preop
Dear crazy, the world revoles around you friend,
Although I've known you since high school and I love you dearly and your sister has had WLS too, don't pretend to know that you know more than me about my own journey and WLS. I realize you don't think people should get surgery for being overweight, but how is that Medifast / fake Phentermine / HCG / any other shot in the dark you've tried working for you? I'm working on the inside as well as the outside to help me with my obesity. I am seeing a therapist to help with my eating addiction so that my new tool will be used to the best of it's ablility. You're just riding the next diet fad to come along then gain the weight back and wonder why. Living a healthy life is not a diet fad.
On top of this, you've gotten a new boyfriend and have decided it's more important to hang out with him than be there for me on my birthday. And I'm sure you'll be telling everyone that the reason we don't hang out as much is because I've gotten surgery and am now stuck up and don't want to hang out with "fat" people anymore. Wake up! I do want to hang out with you, but you don't have time for me and I'm not waiting to be penciled into your life. I have renewed faith in myself and energy to do things and I'll be damned if I sit around waiting for you to unattach yourself from your new boy toy to pay attention to me.
Thanks!
And a sincere thanks to Nik for posting this. Very nice therapy today!
Although I've known you since high school and I love you dearly and your sister has had WLS too, don't pretend to know that you know more than me about my own journey and WLS. I realize you don't think people should get surgery for being overweight, but how is that Medifast / fake Phentermine / HCG / any other shot in the dark you've tried working for you? I'm working on the inside as well as the outside to help me with my obesity. I am seeing a therapist to help with my eating addiction so that my new tool will be used to the best of it's ablility. You're just riding the next diet fad to come along then gain the weight back and wonder why. Living a healthy life is not a diet fad.
On top of this, you've gotten a new boyfriend and have decided it's more important to hang out with him than be there for me on my birthday. And I'm sure you'll be telling everyone that the reason we don't hang out as much is because I've gotten surgery and am now stuck up and don't want to hang out with "fat" people anymore. Wake up! I do want to hang out with you, but you don't have time for me and I'm not waiting to be penciled into your life. I have renewed faith in myself and energy to do things and I'll be damned if I sit around waiting for you to unattach yourself from your new boy toy to pay attention to me.
Thanks!
And a sincere thanks to Nik for posting this. Very nice therapy today!
You KNOW we'd be paying a therapist way too much money to do this assignment! We're doing it here, for free!
It breaks my heart to see so many of us who have had to put up with comments from our own family members and our very own parents! How could they possibly think that comparisons, jokes, comments, opinions, etc. would actually help? I will say, though, that I can take the abusive sarcasm about my weight but when it is/was aimed at one of my children? WATCH OUT!!!!
I still like the saying, "I can always lose weight but you'll always be stupid." Not that I'd ever say that to someone's face...but sometimes I'd really like to!
It breaks my heart to see so many of us who have had to put up with comments from our own family members and our very own parents! How could they possibly think that comparisons, jokes, comments, opinions, etc. would actually help? I will say, though, that I can take the abusive sarcasm about my weight but when it is/was aimed at one of my children? WATCH OUT!!!!
I still like the saying, "I can always lose weight but you'll always be stupid." Not that I'd ever say that to someone's face...but sometimes I'd really like to!
OH MY! Where to begin!!
I'll start with my parents: I know you hate me spending money I dont have on clothing. Yes, I have a closet full of clothes as well as my dressers and the floor. Guess what...only 2 pairs of those pants actually fit!! None of the sweaters fit, about 5 shirts fit properly so you know what...I'm gonna go buy MORE after my plastics and you're gonna like it. Behave and I may even bring one home that says "I love my parents" xD!!
Darcy: Oh Darcy. I've idolized you for 4 years, I thought of you as a mom when my own mom was being a b***h. You chose the day my mom was having her back surgery to 'tell me off'. First off, that was insensitive as all hell. Second, nothing you said...NOTHING had any truth to it. You said and I quote..."you've lost a lot of weight but what you don't tell people is that welfare paid for it all"...ahem...wtf?! I'm not on welfare, I'm on disability..major difference and quite frankly none of your damn business!! Apparently you think I'm stuck up and hate fat people as well as love making fun of them. It's called the people of Wal-Mart song..I hit 'like' on a facebook post of it..SUE ME!!! You're tired of seeing my weight loss posts on facebook as well - why? Are you really THAT jealous?! Is it MY fault you chose a diet of only one friggin meal a day? NO! Is it MY fault you think that bypass surgery is easier? Let me tell you how "easy" it is honey!! ....I have to eat every 2 hours...HAVE TO. If I dont..guess what..I pass out. Fun huh? I have to give myself shots every week...if I get sick, the only medicine that helps is dayquil/niquil which sets me drunk..oh lets not even mention the ten minutes of pain from the "warming effect" of it that sets me in tears. Forget the fact that you can cheat on your diet any time (and do way to frequently in my opinion) if I cheat I feel like I got instant food poisoning..welcome to the world of dumping!!! You can stop losing weight just by going off your diet..guess what..I may have to have a friggin reversal surgery to stop losing weight. My vitamins arent absorbing so I may end up in the hospital since I've almost died TWICE but you dont know that because you're so self absorbed in trying to make people feel sorry for you for only losing 40 lbs in 2 years. I'm sorry, get off your @ss and walk around..get off the video games and go to the store yourself instead of sending your husband with a list!! Oh, and stop telling me how to treat my man...I'll listen to you on relationship advise when you finish your divorce and can keep a man happy for longer than a week.
Phew...Thanks Nik...That second one has been bottled up since my mom's surgery. And yes, the woman tried arguing with me that morning ..I just hit that good old ignore button and never said a word to her! Still haven't ..she's not worth my time!
I'll start with my parents: I know you hate me spending money I dont have on clothing. Yes, I have a closet full of clothes as well as my dressers and the floor. Guess what...only 2 pairs of those pants actually fit!! None of the sweaters fit, about 5 shirts fit properly so you know what...I'm gonna go buy MORE after my plastics and you're gonna like it. Behave and I may even bring one home that says "I love my parents" xD!!
Darcy: Oh Darcy. I've idolized you for 4 years, I thought of you as a mom when my own mom was being a b***h. You chose the day my mom was having her back surgery to 'tell me off'. First off, that was insensitive as all hell. Second, nothing you said...NOTHING had any truth to it. You said and I quote..."you've lost a lot of weight but what you don't tell people is that welfare paid for it all"...ahem...wtf?! I'm not on welfare, I'm on disability..major difference and quite frankly none of your damn business!! Apparently you think I'm stuck up and hate fat people as well as love making fun of them. It's called the people of Wal-Mart song..I hit 'like' on a facebook post of it..SUE ME!!! You're tired of seeing my weight loss posts on facebook as well - why? Are you really THAT jealous?! Is it MY fault you chose a diet of only one friggin meal a day? NO! Is it MY fault you think that bypass surgery is easier? Let me tell you how "easy" it is honey!! ....I have to eat every 2 hours...HAVE TO. If I dont..guess what..I pass out. Fun huh? I have to give myself shots every week...if I get sick, the only medicine that helps is dayquil/niquil which sets me drunk..oh lets not even mention the ten minutes of pain from the "warming effect" of it that sets me in tears. Forget the fact that you can cheat on your diet any time (and do way to frequently in my opinion) if I cheat I feel like I got instant food poisoning..welcome to the world of dumping!!! You can stop losing weight just by going off your diet..guess what..I may have to have a friggin reversal surgery to stop losing weight. My vitamins arent absorbing so I may end up in the hospital since I've almost died TWICE but you dont know that because you're so self absorbed in trying to make people feel sorry for you for only losing 40 lbs in 2 years. I'm sorry, get off your @ss and walk around..get off the video games and go to the store yourself instead of sending your husband with a list!! Oh, and stop telling me how to treat my man...I'll listen to you on relationship advise when you finish your divorce and can keep a man happy for longer than a week.
Phew...Thanks Nik...That second one has been bottled up since my mom's surgery. And yes, the woman tried arguing with me that morning ..I just hit that good old ignore button and never said a word to her! Still haven't ..she's not worth my time!
RNY - August 13, 2010
LBL - October 29, 2012
a total of 271 lbs lost!!
Too funny Nik! And oh so therapeutic! Let's see if I can dredge up some
snarkiness!
Dear colleague: It seems that your comfort zone where we were the 2 'big girls'
of the bunch has eroded a bit. Sorry babe, but it's not about you. So go ahead
and say something negative and unsolicited every single frickin day about my
clothing...shirt's too big, scarf too long, sweater too tight, don't like that color.....
because I feel fantastic and I'm betting you don't. And believe it or not, YOU
are not my 'self' barometer. Later.
Dear Other Colleague: Really? Did you really just walk up to me to try to strike
up some unwanted conversation by telling me not to lose any more weight
because my butt is flat? Hahaha! Okay, that surely will make me want to have
a conversation with a moron. Enough said. Go back to your cube.
Big sigh.....yep! This is waaay better than therapy!
snarkiness!
Dear colleague: It seems that your comfort zone where we were the 2 'big girls'
of the bunch has eroded a bit. Sorry babe, but it's not about you. So go ahead
and say something negative and unsolicited every single frickin day about my
clothing...shirt's too big, scarf too long, sweater too tight, don't like that color.....
because I feel fantastic and I'm betting you don't. And believe it or not, YOU
are not my 'self' barometer. Later.
Dear Other Colleague: Really? Did you really just walk up to me to try to strike
up some unwanted conversation by telling me not to lose any more weight
because my butt is flat? Hahaha! Okay, that surely will make me want to have
a conversation with a moron. Enough said. Go back to your cube.
Big sigh.....yep! This is waaay better than therapy!
Jan
Dear Papa John and Little Debbie: It was a confusing time in my life when I would run to both of you in the same night - well, let's be honest here - in the same hour. I'm not proud of that and while I thought it was what I needed at the time, I now know that what I really needed was to believe that the comfort I sought from your rich, ooey-gooey goodness could be found in my own strength and worth. That being said, I don't need you anymore and I don't appreciate you stalking me though email and postcards trying to tempt me with your hot deliciousness that is now available for a new low price. Step off - the threesome was an experiment and I'm over it.
Dear so-called friend: Stop "outing" me to strangers and bascially everyone we meet. Stop inviting me to get-togethers and parties, announcing what you have there to eat, and then saying you don't know if I'll be able to eat anything since you don't know what I can eat after my "easy street" surgery. I'll tell you what I CAN'T eat and that is condescending, jealousy-fueled BULLS&*T! It is not my fault that your insurance does not cover WLS and I refuse to keep myself unhealthy to boost your tragic self-confidence, a role I didn't know I served until your first reaction to my surgery was, "But now I'LL be YOUR fat friend!". Get a life and while you're at it, realize you're 40 years old and if you don't stop stalking New Kids on the Effin Block, they're going to get a restraining order against you. Now go adopt a few more cats to fill your lonely existence.
Love, Me
Dear so-called friend: Stop "outing" me to strangers and bascially everyone we meet. Stop inviting me to get-togethers and parties, announcing what you have there to eat, and then saying you don't know if I'll be able to eat anything since you don't know what I can eat after my "easy street" surgery. I'll tell you what I CAN'T eat and that is condescending, jealousy-fueled BULLS&*T! It is not my fault that your insurance does not cover WLS and I refuse to keep myself unhealthy to boost your tragic self-confidence, a role I didn't know I served until your first reaction to my surgery was, "But now I'LL be YOUR fat friend!". Get a life and while you're at it, realize you're 40 years old and if you don't stop stalking New Kids on the Effin Block, they're going to get a restraining order against you. Now go adopt a few more cats to fill your lonely existence.
Love, Me
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