Go ahead...say it...you know you want to...
It's Wednesday. I'm stressed out. There are more reasons for this than you want to hear.
But you know what makes me feel better on a stressed out day.
Snark. Good ol' fashioned snark.
But I don't want us to snark each other. Instead, let's snark the people in our lives that make us roll our eyes, palm our foreheads and just generally think "what the HELL was your mother thinking when she raised you???"
Those people who make sideways comments about our weight loss, those who say we took the "easy way out" and especially that person in your life who ALWAYS insists on bringing your trigger food to gatherings. Yeah, that person.
What would you say to them if you could say anything you wanted? Let it all out here!
RNY Gastric Bypass 1-8-08 350/327/200 (HW/SW/CW). I spend most of my time playing with my food over at Bariatric Foodie - check me out!
Dear Mom,
First off, I love you. God knows I do. But if you make everything a choice between me and you, I choose me. I chose you for a long time and it got me to places I never wanted to be. So I’m not doing that anymore.
So…THANK YOU for your concern about the possibility of me regaining. And for the lectures you give me about YOUR worry about MY food addiction. In truth, they might be better received if you didn’t do so alongside asking for Wendy’s Frosties. Cuz you are…um…severely diabetic and said Frosties are not good for you either!!!!
And while I am at it…THANK YOU…stepfather. I know it’s hard for you to understand what it’s like to fight obesity being that you have like 2% body fat and having had a hand in creating a friggin Olympic runner and all. And while I do appreciate the spirit of YOUR advice and comments, they might be better received if I did not see you making yourself slices of fried apple pie (in butter) with heaps of butter pecan ice cream on top. Newsflash stepdaddy: skinny people can get heart disease too!!!
Anyway, that’s all I have to say to the two of you. Wait no it’s not. You’re not going to break me. You’re trying to. You say you’re trying to help but what you really want is for me to come back “to the other side" so I can feel sorry for myself, you can feel sorry for me and STOP feeling sorry for YOURSELF. Thanks for inviting me to that game but I’m not playing it.
There…that’s all I have to say.
Love always,
Nik
P.S. And my kids may be overweight...but they both eat exponentially more healthfully than the both of you combined and get more physical activity. I would venture to guess they will live long happy and healthy lives because, unlike you, I parent them to love themselves as they are and to want to improve themselves in order to prove that you CAN actually outdo utter perfection.
First off, I love you. God knows I do. But if you make everything a choice between me and you, I choose me. I chose you for a long time and it got me to places I never wanted to be. So I’m not doing that anymore.
So…THANK YOU for your concern about the possibility of me regaining. And for the lectures you give me about YOUR worry about MY food addiction. In truth, they might be better received if you didn’t do so alongside asking for Wendy’s Frosties. Cuz you are…um…severely diabetic and said Frosties are not good for you either!!!!
And while I am at it…THANK YOU…stepfather. I know it’s hard for you to understand what it’s like to fight obesity being that you have like 2% body fat and having had a hand in creating a friggin Olympic runner and all. And while I do appreciate the spirit of YOUR advice and comments, they might be better received if I did not see you making yourself slices of fried apple pie (in butter) with heaps of butter pecan ice cream on top. Newsflash stepdaddy: skinny people can get heart disease too!!!
Anyway, that’s all I have to say to the two of you. Wait no it’s not. You’re not going to break me. You’re trying to. You say you’re trying to help but what you really want is for me to come back “to the other side" so I can feel sorry for myself, you can feel sorry for me and STOP feeling sorry for YOURSELF. Thanks for inviting me to that game but I’m not playing it.
There…that’s all I have to say.
Love always,
Nik
P.S. And my kids may be overweight...but they both eat exponentially more healthfully than the both of you combined and get more physical activity. I would venture to guess they will live long happy and healthy lives because, unlike you, I parent them to love themselves as they are and to want to improve themselves in order to prove that you CAN actually outdo utter perfection.
RNY Gastric Bypass 1-8-08 350/327/200 (HW/SW/CW). I spend most of my time playing with my food over at Bariatric Foodie - check me out!
Please stop calling me "skinny" or saying "where are you even going to lose 10lbs from" or "any smaller sized and you'd probably look sick or unhealthy". Really? REALLY?! I'm 5'8, 170lbs, I wear a medium 8/10. I'm NOT skinny, losing 10lbs is not unrealistic seeing as it would just put me in 'normal' BMI range (not the BMI is worth crap in my book), I don't think being a size smaller, if I even ended up being a size smaller, would make me look sick/unhealthy. Its not like I'm suddenly going to go from looking healthy to looking like I survived the Holocaust over the course of 5-10lbs. I mean seriously.
And yes, I know I have head issues, and I will probably never see myself as skinny, but you constantly saying it isn't going to suddenly help me either. Its almost starting to seen like a negative compliment. Can we just stick with "you look good", why do we have to say "skinny minny" all the freaking time?!
And for the record, I am not taking this too far. I'm sorry that my workout and eating habits make your horrible lifestyle of crazy amounts of crackers and no bake cookies with no exercise so apparent and you uncomfortable, but those are your own demons to fight not mine! So stop trying to dump the whole "no wonder your so skinny. You drink a protein shake for breakfast and eat a bar or tuna for lunch, then go run". Really? You went there? I have a freaking 3 month old. I'm sorry that lunch for me normally means something quick that I can eat and enjoy during a nap that might end abruptly. I don't always only drink a shake and eat a bar. I eat snacks, and sometimes I eat lunch and a bar after a workout as a snack *gasp*. UGH!
I could go on but I'll stop.
And yes, I know I have head issues, and I will probably never see myself as skinny, but you constantly saying it isn't going to suddenly help me either. Its almost starting to seen like a negative compliment. Can we just stick with "you look good", why do we have to say "skinny minny" all the freaking time?!
And for the record, I am not taking this too far. I'm sorry that my workout and eating habits make your horrible lifestyle of crazy amounts of crackers and no bake cookies with no exercise so apparent and you uncomfortable, but those are your own demons to fight not mine! So stop trying to dump the whole "no wonder your so skinny. You drink a protein shake for breakfast and eat a bar or tuna for lunch, then go run". Really? You went there? I have a freaking 3 month old. I'm sorry that lunch for me normally means something quick that I can eat and enjoy during a nap that might end abruptly. I don't always only drink a shake and eat a bar. I eat snacks, and sometimes I eat lunch and a bar after a workout as a snack *gasp*. UGH!
I could go on but I'll stop.
Dear coworker: I am not 'wasting' away. I weigh 176 pounds and I have twenty more to lose. I don't need Hershey's Drops, sugar free Red Bull, and doughnuts to eat, but thanks for bringing them so I can look at them all day long. And I don't need to quit exercising because its taxing my body - maybe you need to get up and RUN with me at 5 a.m. every morning and you'd feel better about yourself....and you can quit telling me how you don't have TIME to exercise - you live alone and your kids are gone. I have three of them and a full time job and a part time job - and I have time.
That is all.
That is all.
Dear Cousins, Both of you who find it necessary to tell me about everyone you know who has had the surgery and gained it all back. Didnt your mother teach you if you cant say anything nice not to say anything at all. Oh Wait, I guess she didnt because there she goes telling me about someone too. Thanks for the support guys.
And for all the people who keep telling me I am going to blow away. We live in freakin ALABAMA. I do not think the wind gets that bad around here. I have yet to see anyone flying away in these parts. And for the others who just look at me and say. "You dont need to lose anymore" I just say, Im not. Usually shuts them up.
Ok, Thanks Nik for letting us vent.
And for all the people who keep telling me I am going to blow away. We live in freakin ALABAMA. I do not think the wind gets that bad around here. I have yet to see anyone flying away in these parts. And for the others who just look at me and say. "You dont need to lose anymore" I just say, Im not. Usually shuts them up.
Ok, Thanks Nik for letting us vent.
Teresa HW 267.5, SW 250, CW 140
To All My "Politically Correct, Afraid of the Threat of a Social Justice or Harrassment Declaration, Living in the Unreal and Artificial World of Academia" Co-Workers:
Thanks so much for never saying anything about my weight loss, ever. You know it's not like I've lost almost 80 pounds and four clothes sizes. It's not that I take up much less space on the stairs or even in my chair. And it's definitely not that you see me return from my walk-filled lunch hour dripping sweat. Nope, it's none of that right? It's just that you've been so brainwashed to not say anything complimentary to anyone for fear of a possible harrassment offense. Or maybe y'all are just unobservant zombie-like curmudgeons.
Again thanks...your inaction only stirs commitment to my continued action.
Thanks so much for never saying anything about my weight loss, ever. You know it's not like I've lost almost 80 pounds and four clothes sizes. It's not that I take up much less space on the stairs or even in my chair. And it's definitely not that you see me return from my walk-filled lunch hour dripping sweat. Nope, it's none of that right? It's just that you've been so brainwashed to not say anything complimentary to anyone for fear of a possible harrassment offense. Or maybe y'all are just unobservant zombie-like curmudgeons.
Again thanks...your inaction only stirs commitment to my continued action.
"Just keep swimming." ~ Dorrie
Dear IRS,
You're not going to get any money from me this quarter. Get over it. I know you're stil pissed that I didn't pay in July and you're GONNA get a buttload of cash in April, but until you talk to ALL the crappy insurance companies *****fuse to reimburse me on time or pay me like a decent amount, you'll just have to get in line behind American Express and State Farm. Or hold your breath.
- Nicole
You're not going to get any money from me this quarter. Get over it. I know you're stil pissed that I didn't pay in July and you're GONNA get a buttload of cash in April, but until you talk to ALL the crappy insurance companies *****fuse to reimburse me on time or pay me like a decent amount, you'll just have to get in line behind American Express and State Farm. Or hold your breath.
- Nicole
First ultra: Stone Mill 50 miler 11/15/14 13:44:38, First Full Marathon: Marine Corps 10/27/13 4:57:11, Half Marathon PR 2:04:43 at Shamrock VA Beach Half-Marathon, 12/2/12 First Half-Marathon 2:32:47, 5K PR Run Under the Lights 5K 27:23 on 11/23/13, 10K PR 52:53 Pike's Peek 10K 4/21/13, (1st timed run) Accumen 8K 51:09 10/14/12.
Dear Mom,
I realize that I am not a former champion figure skater turned model turned cop. I understand that my career isn't as "brag worthy" as what SHE does. (By the way.. I am an ONLY CHILD.. get my name right! Stop calling me by HER name all of the time!)
I have politely accepted your rude comments about my weight, but I am much happier at a size four than I ever was at a 24. I don't think I look sick or like I am starving. In fact, I think I could probably stand to lose five or ten more poounds. My daughters are all beautiful exactly as they are, and really don't need to hear things like "Wow.. it must be weird now that your mom is thinner than YOU are" or "If you lose some weight and get REALLY skinny, maybe you can share clothes with your mom." Nice one. You managed to, in one sentance, insult my "thinness" and make them feel fat. Very efficient.
Thank you again for buying me a houseload of food. That was sweet. I am sure that there were no hidden messages in the food you chose.. the chips, the 3948329847 bags of frozen biscuits, the numerous bags of cookies, the soda, the frozen pizzas, etc. I would have just thought you were being helpful, except these are all food that even YOU won't eat.
After spending YEARS hearing things from you like "Guess what size I am in now?!?! I am in a size EIGHT! Can you believe it? An eight! Can you even REMEMBER when you last wore an eight? You must have been like 13!", I can only come to the conclusion that your issue isn't that I am TOO THIN, it's that I am thinner than you are. I didn't realize this was a contest. I was happy for you when you got down to a 12. I celebrated with you when you bought your first pair of size 10s. When you got into an 8... I cried tears of joy for you (depsite how you presented this acheivement). Why can you not be happy for me?! For the first six months or so after my surgery, you were excited. You showed me off. As obnoxious as it was, you insisted that we go out every time you saw me so that you could tell total strangers about my surgery and have me "model" for them. (Like I was a five year old in a new dress). I took it to be your way of being proud. I dealt with it when you dragged me to Thanksgiving at HER house right after surgery so that you could say "Look! Sam is finally dropping weight! You had better watch out, she might get thinner than you someday!".
Now, you are calling family members to tell them how "sick" I look. *sigh* I have always assumed that your intentions were good and that you were just socially inept. Maybe I am wrong, though.. I am beginning to think that you are just toxic. Please just love me and let me love you and stop making this so HARD.
Love,
Samantha
I realize that I am not a former champion figure skater turned model turned cop. I understand that my career isn't as "brag worthy" as what SHE does. (By the way.. I am an ONLY CHILD.. get my name right! Stop calling me by HER name all of the time!)
I have politely accepted your rude comments about my weight, but I am much happier at a size four than I ever was at a 24. I don't think I look sick or like I am starving. In fact, I think I could probably stand to lose five or ten more poounds. My daughters are all beautiful exactly as they are, and really don't need to hear things like "Wow.. it must be weird now that your mom is thinner than YOU are" or "If you lose some weight and get REALLY skinny, maybe you can share clothes with your mom." Nice one. You managed to, in one sentance, insult my "thinness" and make them feel fat. Very efficient.
Thank you again for buying me a houseload of food. That was sweet. I am sure that there were no hidden messages in the food you chose.. the chips, the 3948329847 bags of frozen biscuits, the numerous bags of cookies, the soda, the frozen pizzas, etc. I would have just thought you were being helpful, except these are all food that even YOU won't eat.
After spending YEARS hearing things from you like "Guess what size I am in now?!?! I am in a size EIGHT! Can you believe it? An eight! Can you even REMEMBER when you last wore an eight? You must have been like 13!", I can only come to the conclusion that your issue isn't that I am TOO THIN, it's that I am thinner than you are. I didn't realize this was a contest. I was happy for you when you got down to a 12. I celebrated with you when you bought your first pair of size 10s. When you got into an 8... I cried tears of joy for you (depsite how you presented this acheivement). Why can you not be happy for me?! For the first six months or so after my surgery, you were excited. You showed me off. As obnoxious as it was, you insisted that we go out every time you saw me so that you could tell total strangers about my surgery and have me "model" for them. (Like I was a five year old in a new dress). I took it to be your way of being proud. I dealt with it when you dragged me to Thanksgiving at HER house right after surgery so that you could say "Look! Sam is finally dropping weight! You had better watch out, she might get thinner than you someday!".
Now, you are calling family members to tell them how "sick" I look. *sigh* I have always assumed that your intentions were good and that you were just socially inept. Maybe I am wrong, though.. I am beginning to think that you are just toxic. Please just love me and let me love you and stop making this so HARD.
Love,
Samantha
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