The overeaters anonymous meeting.

 Interestingly, from what I've seen the people who lose weight and maintain the loss are people who establish a food program which forms their abstinence.  Your food program is slowly built through insight into your own triggers and unhealthy/addictive eating patterns.  Many people weigh and measure their food because they are overeaters -   and that gives them peace.  They don't have to fret about how much to eat - it's a done deal.  Abstinence seems to be about keeping within your food program guidelines.  Another food program might be about eating breakfast , lunch, dinner and 2 snacks - and avoiding sugar.  We have to find our own food program - it is not given by OA.  So really, we are given a food program by our surgeons.  For the first year or so we give our power over to the surgeon, and she/he tells us what we can/cannot eat.  But once we are healed and move on into life post-op, and we can eat more, etc. etc. - that's when the rubber hits the road.  The ball is squarely in our court.  

Even though I've been attending OA for 2.5 years, I am still on the fence about it all.  But I keep going because if I don't go, I miss it, and I do believe it is helping me to safely explore my relationship to food.  Lately I am not afraid of regain.  That is huge!  But being honest, if I were to gain 5 lbs, you bet I'd be terrified!   

I'm glad to know that others have had this same experience at 12 step meetings. I am pretty much an atheist, and all the meetings I have tried made me very uncomfortable. The finding of a higher power has always been a hard one for me, which I know is central to the process. I wish I could find a program near me that was less awkward.

Everyone has their own definition of a higher power,  mine is Jesus.  I realize though that in this day and time not all hold that view.  I have been to OA before and have also went to NA with a friend as a support person.  One of The keys to the 12 steps is to be accountable to something outside of ourselves.   This helps to give us a value scale.  I am like theothers take from it wha tis good for you.  When i went they  had a workbook that was very useful to me.  I will soon start these meetings backup.   Its a lot of work and very much worth the efforts in the end.  You have already taken a huge step by discovering you are addicted to food.  Thats major. 

Having come up in the wonderful world of AA, I can say that the program is more SPIRITUAL than religious.

I know with AA the big book says that you are powerless over your addiction and that only the God, of your understanding, is powerful enough to overcome it.

But then 12-step programs tend to contradict themselves because the Lord’s Prayer (a Christian prayer) is used during meetings.

If you are not spiritual at all, that environment would probably make you feel very uncomfortable. But the people and the support of it all does tend to be very good.

I personally am very spiritual and, incidentally, a Christian so the environment doesn’t bother me as much, but I do want to say that I am quite proud of you for going into it with an open mind.

I think the larger point the program makes is important. Addiction is a disease. It is a disease of the body AND the mind. It manifests itself behaviorally as well as physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. But most importantly, if we had the power and the will to overcome our addictions by ourselves, there’d be no need for these groups to exist. In most people’s minds, if we are powerless that means there is something more powerFUL than us. For many, that entity is God. Your mileage may vary. I think that’s why Bill W. (the originator of AA) emphasized ‘the god of your own understanding.’

That god may be many things. For many non-religious people I know good morality is the god of their understanding – just basically being a good, ethical person and holding fast to their beliefs that people are created equally and should be treated with dignity and respect.

So perhaps a task for you would be discovering “the god of your understanding." What regulates your sense of morality and values? Think outside of religion and church. What makes you do what you do? What prevents you from doing things you think are wrong? THAT is where the god of your understanding manifests itself and that is the power that OA believes can conquer your addiction.

Hope that helps.

As someone who has attended several al-anon meetings and a few OA meetings in the past, thank you for this "god of your understanding" post.  I have always struggled with the higher power/spiritual thing, and your words brought everything much more into focus for me.  It actually convinced me to go back to OA and give it another try!  Thanks for the insight.

can I ask where is the meetings held.. Id love to attend myself

Just this month I started doing OA on line.  there is an intro course every month and so far, I like it.  I think it will help me stick to the program the Doctor has given me.  I may try a f2f meeting tomorrow.  On line, there are all kinds of loops.  Maybe someone can ask for a bariatric loop. And we can meet on line.