OT - Dear Parents

I understand that preschool-age children are naturally active and noisy.  And I like kids, I really do.  And I think it's great that you wanted to take your kids out for an afternoon.  Panera is a fun place to go.  That's why I'm here.

See this laptop I am typing on, though?  I am trying to get some work done.  See the other side of the restaurant, where there are a bunch of empty tables?

Does it not occur to you at all that your children climbing over tables and chairs right next to my table and talking very loudly to each other, and to you, might disturb me when I'm working?  And does it not occur to you that if you put your newspaper down and answer your child when he screams for you the first time that he will not then scream for you ten more times?

I'm not saying you should not bring your children here.  But perhaps you could teach them to be more considerate of others.  Or perhaps you could be more considerate yourself.

Thank you.  That's all.

I always took my kids to McDonalds or Burger King for the play area.  Those are places you expect to find noisy kids and it should bother people.  You could bring your newspaper there, too.
And while we are at it, I understand that it is not always practical to hire a baby sitter when you need to go shopping but when I am at Walmart or other stores I really don't want to hear your child screaming for ice cream or candy while you ignore them.  I know the ignoring technique, I would do that myself when my kids had tantrums at home but in public is not the place to ignore them.  Please take them outside until they calm down.  Or give them the damn candy so they will shut up.
I'm a cranky old lady, aren't I?
Thank God the grocery store I use has a play area with an attendant so I can shop without the screaming.  I know kids cry.  That isn't the point.  Ignoring their cries may be easy for you but it isn't for me.  I hear a kid cry and I want to help comfort them, not let them cry it out.

Well, apparently if there is no play area available, it is considered acceptable to allow your kids to stand on the tables and chairs.  Who knew?

I have sympathy for parents, believe me.  I rasied 5 kids.  I have 4 grand daughters.  My daughter and I used to go out to eat regularly when the oldest was born.  She was a very well behaved child.  Then came Kaci.  She was the complete opposite.  A table climber from the time she could crawl.  We don't go out to eat much any more.  On the rare occasions when we do, we take turns watching her and trying to keep her entertained.  The problem isn't high energy kids, it's the parents that think it's alright and ignore them while they disturb other people.
I don't know about anyone else but for me going out to eat is a treat.  I go out weekly with my boyfriend and that is very special for me.  I hate to have that ruined because some parents won't pay attention to their kids.

 I totally understand! My husband & I turn our dislike of children into a game, especially when we're in the grocery store: what is that parent doing wrong or what would you do to shut the child up? OK, I know it's a very judgemental game, but it entertains us who are childless by choice. (unless you count fur-babies, and we have 3). 
Seriously, it's good that everyone understands how difficult child-rearing can be, and the value of "ignoring" as a technique. This is not about parent-bashing. This is about being considerate of others, which is really a good value to pass on to children.

 I think the key is to teach them "No."  Mean it when you say it.  I raised four children who NEVER screamed in restaurants or climbed on tables or screamed for candy.  
  When I managed my old gas station, there was this guy who would come in with his daughter.  Sometimes the mother would come in with her, but mostly it was the guy.  Anyway, EVERYTIME they came in she would ask for ice cream.  They would say no. Then she would ask another 2394839487 times.  They kept saying no.  Finally, she would litterally throw a tantrum.  Crying, screaming, stomping... and they would give in and get her the ice cream.  EVERY TIME.  What did they teach that girl?  They taught her that no only means no until you act out.. then you win. 
  All I could think about was "That girl OWNS you and you just wait until she becomes a teenager.  You are IN FOR IT." 
   Had they said no and stuck by it (EVERY time they said no), the girl would have learned that no meant no and that was the end.  
  My girls, now as adults, have thanked me over and over again for giving them rules that we stuck by and raising them to be respectful people.  What will these kids thank their parents for later?  If you are too lazy to raise your children, why did you have them?  Did you not realize that after you have the cute, tiny, sweet baby that it was going to grow up and take EFFORT to raise?  
  I love kids.  I believe that they do need to cut loose once in a while and act crazy.  Teach them WHEN and WHERE it is alright to do that!  I feel for the parents that let it get out of control (usually in the interest of love.. as in "It's not her fault... she's only 3.  She doesn't understand the rules yet) because once you have let it get that far, it's SO MUCH harder.   
  Ok.  Rant over. 
 

I completely agree that the parents are USUALLY at fault for these behaviors, and I would NEVER allow my child to stand on tables.  We talk about respect and courtesy a lot--- BUT I have a child with special needs, and I feel  like I am always the parent getting the hairy eyeball.... so just keep in mind that you cannot tell when a child has a disability (not visible) so many times this is the culprit of some behavioral issues. 

I try to remove my child from these situations if they arise, but sometimes (like the middle of grocery shopping) it does not behoove me to leave ;)

But Kelly, I am so on the same page... I love Panera for the quiet, serenity--- although I take my child occasionally, she gets shoved into a booth where she can't drive EVERYONE crazy, just me ;)

My 18 YO daughter and I were just talking about this.  My opinion is that when kids act up it is the parents fault because they allow this.  We always took our kids to restaurants since they were very small.  But we always removed a crying, whining child so we did not disturb others.  I actually only remember doing it once.  That is all it usually takes. 

Once we were at a buffet and my kids were talking to us. My daughter has always been a chatter box,  still is.  I just make sure they talk softly.  This time in the buffet I noticed the older couple at the next table kept looking over at us.  I made sure the kids talked even lower because I assumed we were bothering them.  When they got up to leave the lady walked over. I was sure she was coming over to make a snide remark about the kids being noisy.   She said that my kids were the best behaved kids she ever saw at a restaurant.  Made my day.

I know some kids have a harder time sitting still or being quiet than other kids and I don't get upset over kids talking a little bit louder than I really like or something minor like that.  I agree with you, though, that the parents are responsible for managing their kids.  If the kids are very loud, parents need to remind them to use a quiet voice.  If the child is simply unable to do that and is really disturbing other people, parents might need to get to-go boxes for their food and take it home.  With most kids I think you would only have to do that once or twice and the kids would learn.

Part of the problem today is that this child that looked about five wanted to tell his mom things but she was ignoring him.  So of course he kept repeating himself, louder and louder.  That was totally her fault.  If you do not wish to speak to your child or pay any attention at all to him, then don't take him to the restaurant with you.  Hire a babysitter.

Amen Kelly. Raised 5 kids so I know I have patience, but the seeming disinterest
of some parents is amazing. I went to a nearby pizza place some time ago and
ended up dumping my salad into foil to take home with me. A group of little
leaguers came in. No problem. Love kids. They were on the
seats and walking up and down the row of tables tops (tables pushed together to
accomodate them all).  Still, no problem. I get unbridled enthusiasm.  I left when
it spilled over to my table!  Kids, with parents looking on, hopped to MY table!
...on top of my table! I've never been back to that pizza place again,
and they have really nice salads, but unfortunately the staff didn't seem
to really care either.