My confession time...

Oh yeah. It is an enlightening experience. Because you feel yourself freaking out, not only about not getting enough but losing the OPPORTUNITY to eat. I would venture to guess many of us resent not having the opportunity to eat as much as we want. I used to put off meals because I knew once I ate…I couldn’t eat anymore. My pouch capacity didn’t give me the opportunity to eat again for a long time. So if I wasn’t looking forward to eating, what was I looking forward to?

 

I think it’s important for me to delve into the deeper parts of my brain as I get further out in this process. It’s not enough for me to simply say I eat compulsively. I want to know WHY. I want to know what I have to lose or gain by exhibiting certain eating behaviors. I want desperately to unearth some of the crap from my childhood that I’ve buried in my subconscious and release it. I know part of my battles with food and my body are in those repressed places.

 

So yes, I agree completely. I don’t necessarily advocate for post-op fasting. But hunger truly is not an emergency (I think I did a post entitled that some time ago) and I am not in any danger or starvation. In reality few of us are, yet we operate on the assumption that if we don’t do x, y and z we will starve and perish. Not necessarily.

 

My goal is to neither discount nor dieify food. It is not simply fuel. It is not God. It is food. I like it. I eat it. I need to eat it. I want to eat it. And I also want to do many other things. My work these days is embracing those few sentences and living them.

 I remember when I was a smoker. Before I left the house I would check the pack, and make sure I had a lighter. I remember when I quit it was months before I would not instinctively check my pockets.
I have a similar battle with hunger. Is there going to be enough food? When do I get to eat again? Did I eat the right thing? Can I drink yet?
Hunger is a scary beast that means so many different things.
Thanks for sharing your battle with the beast story.
Also..the mantra that hunger is not an emergency stills my soul. It really does help.
Deb T.