DO YOU KISS AND TELL?

Hello all,

I am a teacher and went back to school this year 100+ pounds lighter.  Of course the students notice but would not dare ask how!

Parents on the other hand are not afraid to ask what I did to lose so much weight. 
I get a kick out of the parents who have known me for years and don't even know who I am until I speak to them..

Depending on the parent - I TELL- I am not ashamed of the decision I made to be healthy again.  I have not gotten any odd or negative reactions from them.  The ones that I CHOSE to tell have been very supportive!



I am proud of me and my choice!

SO DO YOU TELL?

I do not mind to tell certain people that I have had RNY. However there are a few (particularly at work) that I probably will NOT tell...just the ones who are too invasive with their questions. I'm the type of person who doesn't like to pry into other people's business if I don't feel like they overtly willing to share. So I prefer to be treated the same way but not everyone gets that. I get a little bowed up when people who are not close to me try to pry or are constantly commenting about what I am doing so when I do go back to work in a week or so I will not discuss the surgery with certain ones. And I think that is my perogitive....It has taken me a long time to be able to set boundaries but I don't feel the need to answer nosy people who are not really interested in me personally or my well being.
I dread that part of going back to work & in particular my immediate supervisor is SO pushy & nosy-never knows when to back off and can't take a hint to back off when you give him one.  I have not directly told him what surgery I had but I guess people have guessed.  I'm not quite sure how I will handle him yet. 

Most people that I have a good relationship I don't mind to discuss it with them at all & they are supportive and wish the best for me.

Oh & BTW-you look fantastic!  Congrats to you!

Yes, I do tell.

I'm proud of my decision and proud of my progress. If I get negative feedback than there is usually a deeper issue reason behind it with them and not with me.

That's a great way to look at it!  Thanks -that's just what I needed to hear!

I tell anyone - I usually get questions or get a phone call from someone they know considering the surgery.  I think it's great that people ask and find out.

I'm only 11 days out, but if people ask any questions about why I haven't been at work or if I am moving slowly ( I have one little spot on my left side that is tender)  I say that I had surgery. If they ask (and they usually do...) I will tell. So far I have been telling everyone that askes. I go back to work Monday and I'm sure I will continue to tell.

I live in a small town and everyone knows everyone, but I really don't mind. I didn't tell much of anyone (just mom, dad, son, 2 co-workers, 2 bff's) before. Part of that was the length of time from start to surgery is soooo long and most don't understand the hurdles... But now that it is over I am starting to think it will be a good way to educate people....Plus I feel really good about my decision!!!

Of course. Why wouldn't I?

But I think my reasoning goes deeper. When I was exploring surgery (all five minutes of exploration****pt hearing "my brother/sister/uncle/cousin/babymama had a friend who had weight loss surgery and they gained ALL their weight back..."

First off, no you don't. You don't know anyone personally and neither does your family most likely. If so you would know that regain is a symptom of a larger problem and not the fault of WLS, in which case you would share some meaningful insights about how to avoid such a fate instead of trying to dissuade me from surgery. But I digress.

So when I had surgery I wanted people to have a person to refer to that existed in reality. Nikki has had WLS. Nikki lost X pounds. Nikki had some regain but is maintaining a tremendous weight loss. Nikki is now fit and active and seems like a generally happy person. I know Nikki and Nikki was a WLS success.

I respect those who keep their decisions private, but so long as we live in the shadows our plights (and the HARD WORK we do to change our lives) will remain a mystery and subject to stereotypes (aka "the easy way out") and urban legends (aka "the friend of the mother/sister/boyfriend"). I personally am not ok with that.

 I just want let you know that I REALLY enjoyed your response. Thank you!

I didn't tell co-workers, except one.  And who knows if she told anyone, no one has cornered me.  The reason I chose to stay quiet is we work with the public and I didn't want it getting out to my customers.  I really don't want to talk about it with whoever is curious.  Does that make sense?  On the other hand, I am a pretty open book with my family.  I didn't choose to tell everyone, but word got around quick.  Mostly everyone is respectful and doesn't make too much of a fuss over it. 

I'm a bit of a mixed bag.  I tell some people...some people I don't.  I'm proud of the decision I made because it was a VERY hard one...but I'm also very early out and I'm not ready to be put on display just yet.  My immediate family and close friends have all been tremendously supportive.  My father actually was a bandster who had to have his band removed and eventually regained...and even with that he has been TOTALLY supportive.  My BFF has three close family members that have had RNY that I have met and know personally.  Of the three...one has regained, one had a super rare complication and is now disabled, and one is fine. 

I have told a few people at work (my supervisor, and my direct reports) but I don't talk about it.  They know...they ask how I'm feeling...that sort of thing.  One guy that works PT at a gym has offered to get me some reduced price training sessions when I'm ready for which I'm really stoked about.  But in general for now, I don't make a big deal about it and I'd perfer if others don't either. I'm sure that as my weightloss increases...this will all change.