I can’t believe it has been a year. One year ago today I woke up to the first day of my new life. It’s hard to believe that just one year ago, I was nearly 200 lbs heavier, sitting in a hospital crying and terrified. I’m so grateful to every single person who stood there with and reassured me that I was making the right decision. I’m beyond grateful to everyone who answered the million and four questions I’ve asked along the way and supported and encouraged me when I thought I couldn’t do anymore. For the most part I’ve embraced that new life and taken advantage of the opportunities it has presented. But I’ve lost and gained a lot in that year as well.

I’ve lost 198 ugly pounds that disguised me as a person and let me hide from life and disengage. Those pounds, I’m not sorry to see go and will fight to make sure they never return.

I’ve lost more inches than I can count. Those inches represented each and every victorious step towards my goal and sometimes were all that indicated I was still moving forward when the scale didn’t budge.

I’ve lost friends. It turns out that some people are only comfortable being in your life when you’re at your worst and any improvement on your part begins to tear down their fragile self-esteem. Sometimes I miss them and others, I simply wish they I could have given them the incredible feelings I have gotten from this process.

I’ve lost my emotional dependence on food. When I have a hard time, I don’t reach a cookie or a candy bar and when I cry, it’s not followed by sitting down with comfort foods.

I’ve lost my cloak. It turns out that the extra weight was a wonderful way to hide from the world and all of the experiences. I’ve learned to engage in life and live mine openly with a willingness to experience life.

I’ve gained things too though and most of them are positive.

I’ve gained access. I can sit in booths, airplane seats, walk through turnstyles, cram into elevators and sit in tiny chairs. And I never think twice about using any of them. I can try new activities – skiing, sky-diving, running and playing softball.

I’ve gained understanding. Without the weight, I’ve had to learn about myself and figure out the things that I like and don’t like, not simply make excuses that I can’t do them because of the weight.

I’ve gained healthy coping mechanisms. I exercise, I talk to people and most of all, I deal with my emotional issues instead of cramming them down with food.

More than anything though I’ve gained self-confidence. I’ve figured out how to absolutely love who I am and be confident in both the person I am on the inside and outside. I can finally say that I’m comfortable in my own skin! Frankly, I never thought I would get there.

But I'm here.. and I'm grateful and happy to be here. Good luck to those starting your journey- from one skeptic to another - you can make it work. All the best!

 

Congratulations on an amazing year! 

WOW!!  I am impressed.  I am almost 3 years out (Sept 18) and still struggle with some of these same things that you have a handle on.  I  have lost almost 200 pounds but still consider if I will fit in a booth and tend to try on and wear clothing that is too big for me. 

I am one of those who still sees the morbidly obese woman in my mind's eye.  But I am working on it.

Keep up the great work.  Janice

What an inspiring post! Thank you for sharing!
Sounds like you have had an amazing journey so far!

Jamie

 wowser well said...your an inspiration!!   

Congratulations on your emotional success as well as your physical success! You are inspiring!

Thank you for sharing.

 Wow!  Congratulations.  It is rare to hear of a woman losing that much weight so fast.  And, the transformation in your attitude towards yourself is even more amazing.  I ask that you look at the posts on this forum and perhaps on some others and either reply or make a post about possible steps people can make on their post-op journeys.  You don't have to do it daily or even weekly, but hearing about such a successful post-op on a recurring basis can help a lot of people.

If you get requests for re-posts, just have people link to your Latests Posts and they can read everything you've posted on OH--both your original posts and your responses to others' posts.

Thanks for letting us know about your progress and success.

What an incredible post and an incredible journey. Thanks for sharing. Congratulations and you have a beautiful outlook on your post-op life. WELL DONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Omg, this post was absolutely amazing and I am striving to be like you and have your success. Your post was definitely inspiring and I appreciate you for posting it. Me and my boyfriend just broke up so I do understand about losing people in life. I cant wait to start my new life too. Even though I'm down 75lbs, I still feel the same in a sense. People tell me that they can see the weightloss but I can't.

The best part is that we are both in Atlanta!!! I'm so happy for you. You need to put up more pictures!!!

Besutifully said.  Congratulations and you are awesome!