Who wants to be skinny?

i am struggling right now with the fact that i never got to goal and whether that is important or not. i definitely know i want to eat better on a more consistent basis and exercise more but i can't help but attach weight loss to that. i thin****il i let that go, i will never truly achieve my goal, which is not be obsessed with my weight anymore and just live my life.

Do you think that your goal was realistic, given your body type, weight history, etc?  I have seen a lot of my clients who are trying to lose weight (with or without surgery) set goals that are not realistic and then feel like "failures" because they did not make those goals.  Not everyone can wear size 6 jeans any more than everyone can wear size 7 shoes.

I think your goal of living without being obsessed with your weight is the primary component of what a lot of us  who are farther out talk about as "no longer being a RNY post-op", but just being a person who happens to have had RNY (just like some of us happen to have had our appendix or tonsils out).  It is a shift in focus and, IMO, is a very healthy one.

Lora

well i am still over 200 lbs so i know for a fact i could be smaller. i think it has become alot harder for me to lose weight now though. the same thing i did ten years ago which lead to large weight loss does nothing now. so i'm trying to figure out what to do cuz i keep sabotaging myself when i don't get the results i want as quickly as i want them. my impatience is really getting in the way. jumping on the scale ruins it for me.

Some people who have WLS end up with a permanently lowered metabolism because of the body's reaction to such restriucted caloric intake during thsoe first six months or so, so that may account for why you are finding it more difficult to lose.  (Being ten years older than when you were trying before doesn't help, either, of course sicne out metabolism naturally slows as we age.)

I truly do understand the frustration and the sense of dissatisfaction.  Getting to a place where we can accept our bodies as they are can be very difficult.  Even when we can see that there is still some weight we theoretically could lose, sometimes we need to consider what it would take to MAINTAIN that loss even if we can achieve it.  Sometimes the "pain" in terms of having to be so stringent about what we eat or about maintaining a certain level of exercise isn;t worth the "gain" in terms of being an extra 10 pounds (or whatever) smaller.  Sometimes acceptance, as difficult as it is, is actually easier than fighting what appears to be a hopeless battle.  I don't mean that to sound as if I am trying to discourage you from trying to drop more weight... I am just trying to provide a different perspective for anyone who is dissatisfied with the body they ended up with after WLS ("occupational hazard"...)

Lora

Great post -thanks for putting things into perspective for so many of us...on a side note -haven't been here since the hurricane with no power and the crazy start of school so just wanted to say I love your profile pic!

Nik: You rock. Nuff said.

This thread has really helped me tonight.  It is so easy to day dream about if I could only be this size or look this certain way in my clothes, but to me it is all  such a waste of emotional energy.  It really is good to hear what others are thinking and doing.  This was a very good topic and really gave me the support and direction I needed right now.  Thanks to all of you for posting and telling your stories.

Very good post with helpful thoughts.  I couldn't agree more.

I started out wanting to be one size less than I weighed when I completed my last diet.  During my weight loss phase, I would not even buy a scale.  I did not want to be a slave to it - emotionally or physically.  I was not shooting for skinny; I was shooting for healthy and peace in my skin.  I reached both, but I am disappointed my high blood pressure returned.  I did not anticipate that happening at all.  My cardiologist has told me what a great thing WLS was for my overall health.  I do weigh daily - no exceptions.  I am a little surprised how much my weight can jump up after I have been off track, so I do have to watch it closely.   I am at peace with my journey and am in a good place.  I exercise for health and enjoyment no longer spending hours and hours in the gym like I did in years past pre WLS.  Now I walk for the sake of health and for the enjoyment of being outside and enjoying the process.  This journey has empowered me in so many ways.