I don't 'feel' how others perceive me.

At times I feel super tiny, and then I see my tummy.  Well, it's not really a tummy,  it's a pannus. A HUGE pannus.  I'm a size 12 going down to a 10 and up to a 14 if it's not stretchy at all.  I'm a medium/large in tops (my leather coat is a Medium).  My neck is the size that my ankles used to be...10 inches.  In a matter of inches, measurements, clothing sizes and most pictures of me - I'm virging on the side of tiny (aside from my height).  

I know the facts and I know the measurements. Others tell me I've done so wonderful and my surgeon wants me to speak at his seminars. I'm one of the few cases where the patient loses WAY more than the doctors hope for. I've been told to gain a little back if I can.  

I know others feel like this at times but at times I feel like it's just me. I feel like I'm ALMOST there. I'm still "overweight" until my BMI drops 1.2 more points and that will drop if I get to have my plastics done.  I'm hoping having the plastics done (anchor cut) will give me a little more of a sense of accomplishment. I still feel big. Of course I look at before and afters of myself and I KNOW I'm small...but I still FEEL big. I still pull my shirt down when I sit or stand, making sure everything is covered even though nobody ever says anything if my shirt pops up, I feel like my "rolls" are suddenly going to come back overnight. 

Not really looking for sympathy but just wondering if anyone out there goes through this and what do you do to get those feelings to subside? My fiance tells me all the time how tiny and pretty I am but for some reason my mind thinks he's lying..in my heart I know he's not though.. grr =(

It sounds like you are waiting for your brain to catch up to reality.  With WLS, you lose weight at a very fast pace.  Faster than any other method.   The scripts that run in our head need to change to match our newer reality.  Pulling down tops to cover ourselves, scanning the room to see if you can fit into seats, etc. are all behaviours of our former selves. 

These changes take time.  You may want to write down in point form, positive statements about your current self.  Reread it several times a day.  It will be like reprogramming your brain.

You must be very tall.  So even if your body is thin, being tall gives you a different perspective than someone 5'  1 inch.  When they are at the same BMI, they would be tiny in all ways.

Good luck as you move forward.

Judy

It takes time. I'm almost 3 years out and wear size 4/6. I finally see myself as "average" most of the time. My bf tells me NOT to lose any more, but in my head I want to lose about 10 more. 

Laura

I have the same problem. Everyone tells me I'm so thin, but when I see photos of myself, all I see is the pooch in my lower stomach from the extra skin and the saggy under the arms. all I "see" are the imperfections which makes me still feel FAT!

I feel the EXACT same way!!  I've gone from a 26 to a 14 in almost 9 months.  I've lost over 100 pounds.  I have about 10 more pounds until I hit MY goal of 180 (I'm tall as well.)  At that point I will still be "overweight".  I could see myself losing an additonal 15 or so beyond my goal though.  Everyone says I'm "skinny" but I still pick out clothes that hide my belly.  I will wear fitted things as long as I'm wearing my smoothing undershirt (in fact, I wear one almost all the time.)  And only if I have on jeans or something that kinda hold me in a bit more.  I think people are only saying I'm skinny because I am much smaller than what I use to be.  It's weird, I can feel my shoulder bones, my hip bones, etc so I'm smaller but.... my head just hasn't caught up.  It's good to see someone is in the same boat.

How tall are you?

sounds a lot like me
I"m about 30 pounds below my doctor's goal... my BMI is barely normal but only because I had a tummy tuck that removed 5 pounds of skin... (and 2 sizes so I went from a 10 to a 6).  I too have been asked to speak at his seminars and come to the preop support group and speak....

I still feel fat.  i'm just starting to grasp that I am TINY... do not give me a picture of a group of people and ask me to find myself... I can't.   I still see that size 26 girl in my brain...

I'm two years out in two weeks.  It takes a few years for our brains to catch up to our bodies...

to be honest I never would have felt finished without the plastic surgery... that's the final step in completing the transformation for many of us... my LCSW agrees...  she is a WLS patient herself and specializes in patients who have had WLS.... she truly gets it...


I am still a fat chick in my brain.   the plastics really helped.... i'm starting to see myself as slim....

 First, congratulations on that fantastic weight loss. Not only should you be speaking at your surgeon's seminars, you should be on life-size posters!!! You are an inspiration.
Second, yes - it takes your brain to catch up with your body. If you're like most, you've had a lifetime of seeing yourself one way. It's going to take just as much effort to change your self-concept.... daily reminders of your progress, taking pictures and compairing, telling the old scripts/tapes in your head to "shut up". I'm glad you're getting PS to help your eyes catch up with your reality; maybe working on what you say to yourself can help you become who you've worked so hard to be?

 I think it is a great idea to speak at the seminar - and use the time to show what you've accomplished - but also to share what you feel!  Pre-ops can really use some honest reporting of the mental/emotional challenges we face so they don't only focus on the physical.  

My feelings about my size would lead me to believe I have a fun house mirror.  Some days I feel very FAT, and other days I feel skinny.  I know what I see in the mirror is really distorted by my emotions.

 I have read a couple of suggestions lately that sounded like they might help:  1. go to mybodygallery.com and check out the pictures of the people your same height, weight and body shape.  It's just body shots of regular people, but it really gives you an idea of what you look like to OTHER people.    2. (I haven't actually DONE this yet, but it sounds effective) cut eyeholes out of a paper bag and put it over your head.  THEN.. look in a full length mirror.  It sounds silly, but that way you can disassociate your FACE with your body.  You get a better idea of what your body looks like .. sort of with out the "you" part of it.  (I don't know how to explain it better).  I suppose you could get the same results if you had someone take pictures of you from the neck down only.   
  Body dysmorphia is common among WLS patients (or really anyone that has lost a large amount of weight).  The Cowboy tells me all the time that I am really tiny.  He suffers from body dysmorphia, as well... he thinks he's fat and out of shape when he's actually very muscular and well put together.  (He works out a lot.. but, it's NEVER enough).  We're trying to work our way though this together.  =] 
  Good luck to you!! 

Thanks guys! It's nice to know that I'm not only..not the only one..but that these feelings seem to be normal and expected! 

For those who asked: I'm 5'10'' and I'm teetering between 180-185. The problem with the "you need to gain" is because there is LITERALLY 30-40 lbs of extra skin. We did a little experiment that doesn't even take all the weight off that will be taken off with plastics. I stood on my scale and my fiance held my pannus up to bear most of the weight of it. JUST doing that took 25 lbs off the scale...and he couldn't hold it all.

So, once the skin is off they're worried I'll be underweight or too close to underweight especially for how easily I get sick. Seem to be the very one who gets food poisoning. Grr.

See what I mean LOL I'm defending my surgeon...for telling me to gain weight. Like you guys here are gonna critisize me... yeah *kicking myself in the brain*..maybe that will work LOL. I'm gonna take my size 12 butt out and get a new top and pair of jeans. Retail therapy...yup...that WILL work =D