Stigma

Really good questions! I'm forever trying to figure out what makes me tick, what makes others tick (I'm a psychotherapist), and so far for me the mystery only increases as I go along.

I think stigma is based in fear, and shaming is also. Fear of catching the disease, maybe, so having a way to distance makes people feel safer. In this society and in many others, obesity is more prejudicial than race, and mental illness isn't far behind. So people get scared, cover it with judgement, and lash out.

I do know there's nothing I can do about it other than work on my own issues of shame and judgement, unless I join an advocacy group or something like that. That means doing my best to not take it personally, and let it roll off my thick skin- much easier said than done!

I have had such shame to deal with- it has taken a lot of work to set myself free of it, and I'm still not there completely. Being thin helps a lot, and I think my fear of the shame and the self-putdowns will help me stay thin. At least I can make some good use of it!

I'm selective about who I tell about my WLS. My close people all know, and have been supportive. I'm not so open with others. I'm not sure about having the right to not have criticism- criticism is up to the other person, and I can't control what they say or do. All I can do is manage myself, and maybe sometimes choose to stick my neck out there. I must be aware that it might get chopped at. Sometimes I don't mind, sometimes I do, and then it's my job to let the other person know my feelings.

So thanks for your thoughts and questions!

My personal experience regarding depression, weight and other type of health related issues is people who judged me viewed both as a weakness on my part.  All I needed to do was "choose to be happy" and just "stop eating"....no compassion, no attempt to understand.   Society often does not want to consider obesity, etc.,  can stem from  complex origins.  Sometimes too I hink people are afraid they could be us.

I can relate about the stigma about mental health. When you say the word Bi-Polar people (most) associate it with a "crazy unstable" person. They don't see the bubbly church going, stay at home mom that has 3 kids and a husband. Very few people know about my Bi-Polar b/c of the shame I feel. Even family member don't know. It's funny I just became good friends with this girl and she told me that she said to her mom " I could see Shelly as a depressed person if she really sat down and thought about her life." I had to laugh. What she doesn't know is for the past year, I could barley get out of bed, b/c I was so tired and depressed.
IDK why but even to my dr.s when reviewing my meds and they ask why I am on Trileptal I say for a mood disorder. I have a very difficult time saying the word Bi-Polar out loud. Perhaps it's b/c I was only diagnoses 3 years ago. I really wi**** wasn't this way. Even putting this out there was very difficult for me.

Well, thanks for sharing.  Bipolar disorder is nothing to be ashamed of.  You don't have it because you did something wrong.  It's no different than asthma or arthritis or whatever.  Well, maybe more painful and maybe more different to treat and to live with.  But no different in the way it's a medical condition and there is treatment for it and it doesn't make you a bad person or a good person or anything else, other than a person with a chronic health condition.

Since you shared, I'll share.  Probably everyone that's been around OH for a little bit of time knows about my depression and my PTSD.  I'm not ashamed or embarrassed about those.  Not very many people know about my DID (dissociative identity disorder), though.  Well, OK, now they do.  When I talk about my mental health issues, I usually leave that one out because most people know little about it and I don't want them to think I'm totally nuts.  I only told my mother a few months ago.  I have never told my sister.  My partner and I had been living  together for a few years before he even found out.

Anyway, thanks for sharing here.