Why did you need surgery?

Yeah it would bring it all back up! I've been dealing with it a lot more lately because I'm not eating my feelings away and I'm not on the meds I was on that left me in a daze all the time since I'm pregnant.
My mother would binge and purge when I was growing up. She doesn't think I know but she was a health nut but when we'd have a birthday or special occasion where there was food she didn't eat around she would gorger herself on it then spend the next 3
0+ minutes in the bathroom with the water on. She would leave a spoon on the back of the sink! I don't know why it wasn't something I developed! I think I was afraid of it and throwing up for me was always horrifying!
The PTSD has affected every aspect of life and even though I've come a long way I'm still dealing with the damage that was done.
Although all the women in my family have weight issues none of them ever got as big as I did and I think the situation and abuse had something to do with it. Food was my therapy, my only friend, the one thing that didn't abandon me and I became an emotional eater! I'm noticing more now a lot of things will unknowingly trigger some kind of response and will take me back. The other day I couldn't figure out why when a song came on I got uneasy, anxious and started getting nauseas then I realized who was singing it and it made sense because of the memories that band is attached to for me!
Post op dealing with all the stuff coming back up has been rough and with food not being my numbing agent its a struggle!

I think we'll deal with it forever.  I've been in treatment for years and years and things are better now but not gone.  It sucks.

It does suck and it's frustrating! I've been srtuggling with trying to figure out why even though I've worked on it for years and years and I've come a long way and done so much to change the outcome it still affects me like it does? I wish I was one of those who could just bury it and go about my business as if it didn't exist! Some wounds will always have an impact I guess! They don't define me or determine my outcome but they still linger!

Very interesting question. I am only 22, but have never in my life been thin, or fit. I have dieted off and on since as long as I can remember and I knew surgery was my last hope to live a 'normal' life. I could loose small amounts of weight, but could never keep them off, and always gained back what I'd lost.

I also had extremely irregular periods that would have made it hard or impossible to get pregnant. Then I started to realize, even if I did get pregnant how unbelievably unhealthy it would be for me and baby, not to mention trying to keep up with a baby/child once it was born. I knew something had to change.

I don't know that I was addicted to food, but I do know I had (and still do in weak moments) an unhealthy relationship with it. I was never (or maybe rarely?) told not to eat something when I was a child.

I was lucky enough to not have any health issues, but with my family history I was a ticking time bomb.

I used to get so angry and think I was being punished for not being able to get pregnant! I now realize that I wasn't able to take care of myself, let alone a child and I know that had I gotten pregnant being as sick as I was it wouldn't have gone well and I would've put baby's life in danger!
I'm so happy for you! It's a great feeling knowing we'll be able to be better mommies because we chose to get healthier!

The reasons why I wanted wls:

1) prevent my diabetes from escalating (now diabetes free),
2) prevent future heart problems that runs rampant in my mother's side of the family,
3)alleviate arthritis pain in the knees and hips,
4) get away from my sleep apnea,
5) not to be in the largest size in store(Lane Bryant, Catherines, etc.) and still have it fit tight,
6) get off as many meds as possible, AND
7)  LIVING LONG ENOUGH TO PLAY AND ENJOY FUTURE GRANDCHILDREN!

I want to ENJOY the life that I have, not being able to do simple things for myself.

Why do you think you needed WLS instead of losing weight without surgery?

I was at a point in my life where the surgery was the best option for me.  I struggle with mo for over 25 years and don't know how much more my body could have taken with dieting and excercising alone.  I've lost 185 lbs.  When you barely reach 5'1",  that's a massive amount of weight for anybody, let alone for someone who is short like me.  As I said,  I spent a life time trying.

Hey Kelly,

I know I am not answering your original question. Its a long story that I don't feel like typing at the moment. However,  I have enjoyed reading everyones responses. I really just want to tell you that I love your updated profile pic. You look amazing. The hair is great too!

T.

 The physiological changes I was aiming for: curing sleep apnea, improving physical abilities, getting off cholesterol meds, staving off diabetes/HTN/other genetic chronic conditions.
The psychological: forcing my mind to wrap around the idea of healthy portions, being able to succeed at a diet for once, having more confidence & self-esteem thru achievement, taking back the power.

I don't know if I would have ever been able to achieve this without surgery. I could have exercised daily and forced myself to only have sensible portions, but I would have found a way to slip up or feel deprived or put all my self-worth in the yo-yoing. I had to take control for my mind and my body. I couldn't do another diet - I had to do a new lifestyle.