Why did you need surgery?

OK, I  know we all needed surgery because we were very overweight and could not lose the weight without surgery.  What I'm interested in, though, is why some people are able to lose very large amounts of weight without surgery while others aren't.  I am not in any way suggesting that we should have been able to do it without surgery or that it's better to do it without surgery.  I'm guessing that most of us would have preferred to do it without having major surgery if we could have, but I don't think there is anything wrong with having surgery if we needed to.

Here are the reasons I think I needed surgery:

1.  I suspect my metabolism was messed up.  I think it was at least partly due to some of the medications I've taken for depression.  It seemed like if I was very very careful with my diet, I could stop gaining weight but still would not lose.

2.  I think  part of why I needed surgery is psychological, and I don't think there is anything wrong with that.  Mental health issues are just as valid as physical health issues.  One of my emotional issues is that if I was trying really hard to lose and didn't, or even gained, I got very angry with myself.  I don't mean just a little frustrated, but really really angry.  I was in therapy to help me deal with that for a long time and sometimes I could cope with it better than others but it was not a good place for me to be in.  I needed surgery because, while this surgery is not easy, I knew I'd be much more likely to have success this way.

3.  Another psychological issue for me is that when I tried to avoid foods that were not good things to eat when you're trying to lose weight, or tried to limit the amount of food I ate, I would sometimes end up feeling very deprived.  Not just feeling sad because I couldn't eat something that I wanted, but feeling almost like I was being punished or something.  I am quite sure that goes back to my childhood and yeah, I worked on that in therapy for a long time.  I still am, actually.  But it really triggered some of my PTSD stuff and that was not healthy for me.

So.  Anyone want to share why you needed surgery?

Kelly, interesting subject. Here are my reasons. I knew my metabolism was messed up. With worsening diabetes, blood pressure I was a ticking time bomb. What really pushed me over the edge towards surgery was my job, which I love. As an RN, 100% of my job is emergency medical management at my hospital. Running to a code blue is essential. The size of our hospital doubled over the past 2 years...longer runs. I felt I needed to be coded after running, and felt my response times were too slow. At 288 lbs, my chances of NOT having my own personal health crisis at work were lessening...scared ME beyond tolerance. Now after losing 100lbs, I feel 20 years younger or better...emotionally I feel better, more secure in my own skin. Most of my health issues have lessened, or have been resolved, and for that I am most grateful for my RNY surgery!!

Hi.

I am almost six weeks out from surgery and stuck on, Did I really want surgery?  I actually felt pressured from my primary care physician and  other Drs I was seeing for back and knee pain to have the surgery.  The only Dr who did not think it was a good idea for me was my therapist.

I too suffer from PTSD and depression, my therapist did not think I would do well with the surgery.  She then told me about her latest vacation in the Cayman Islands and about an obese couple who were at her resort.  My therapist would watch what they ate, as did everyone else (she added), and it reminded her to watch what was on her plate.  When she told me this story I thought - how judgemental, how rude to tell me this.  I decided then to go for it.

The truth is I have been on a diet since I was 10 years old, I am an emotional eater, I was addicted to sugar and carbs.  The truth is I wanted to stop fantazing about the life I would always have when I became thin  The surgery is teaching me discipline and patience with myself.  I want to walk again and move.  I needed this surgery because I (mentally) would sabotage myself whenever I did lose weight and people started to notice - "you're looking great!".   I've lost 59 pounds so far and people are saying, "you look great" - I am learning to accept the compliment.

Carol

Wow, I can't believe your therapist told you that.  I mean, I believe you, but how unprofessional and... I don't know the words.  Not therapeutic, that's for sure.

Did you tell her how inappropriate that was?  Are you still seeing her?  Do you feel supported by her?  Is she usually less rude and judgmental?

Hi Kelly,

After that session I never went back to her. She was the type of person who knows what she knows and she knows more than most people.

I'm ok now.  If I do go back to therapy I will look for a therapist who is involved in bariatric care.

Have a good day.

To prevent pre-diabetic from becoming diabetic.
To stop polycysticovaries and have more babies...eventually.
To have that different life I've always dreamed about like Velvet mentioned right before me.
To prove to myself and others that I could be think for once, healthy for good.
To show my children a different "norm."

Oh yea, to combat depression..
ANNNNNDDD...
TO NOT FEEL LIKE I HAVE TO SETTLE IN WHAT I WANT IN A MAN B/C "AFTER ALL HE'S ACCEPTING MY LARD A**." -sounds mean but hey its the truth of what was stuck in my head.
And I've had 2 doosies. One that just was a doosie but accepted me, and one that thought I couldn't have any expectations of his bum behind b/c he put up w/ my "belly hangin between my legs since after I had his kid." 

Couldn't have said it better myself. These are my 4 reasons!

There were a lot of thing that led me to the realization that wls was my only option!
Cards were stacked against me and there were many factors that led to me being 450+ pounds!
I started gaining weight after my parent split when I was 5, aside from genetics( all the females on my dad's side had weight issues), my life was in termoil! Family split up and I was being abused sexually and physically by my mom's second husband! As I gained weight my mother would try to force me to lose it in unhealthy ways! Keeping normal meals from me till I lost 5 lbs, telling me I was to fat to do things I wanted like dancing, ice skating, gymnastics, using abuse to get me to exercise.
I was never skinny enough for her approval and I guess in some way I began to rebel against everything she was trying to change about me. I felt that if she didn't love me as I was she didn't deserve me the way she wanted me! I didn't realize it at the time but maybe I was punishing her for not loving me as I was, accepting me instead of changing me!
I also had this idea that if I made myself unattractive maybe they wouldn't want me and if they didn't want me maybe they would stop abusing me..of course it didn't work!
Add in that food was the only thing that didn't let me down! Food was scarce and it was kept from us and we didn't have the "good" foods around, they weren't allowed! We would sneak them, go to the corner store and buy junk or when we did have food we would binge. My brother's a bean pole so this never affected him but as I mentioned the females all weren't so lucky!
Fast forward to adulthood, no matter what diet I tried i'd lose a little and regain a lot! I was diagnosed bipolar when I was 23 and was put on Depakote and a slew of other psych meds! I was dieting hardcore, working out 6 days a week still gaining weight at an alarming rate! While on Depakote I gained almost 200 lbs in just a few years!
PCOS, high blood pressure even on two meds, severe GERD, sleep apnea, back injury and genetics all added up!
I was knocking on death's door and with my father having had heart disease, diabetes, high bp, sleep apnea, severe obesity...I was walking down the same path!
I couldn't walk from my bedroom to the bathroom without trouble, I could barely wipe myself or keep myself clean, I was on enough meds to tranqualize a horse for a week and none of them were working, couldn't care for myself on the most basic level!
The pain from the back injury, fibro, sciatic, neck and head trauma were unreal and kept me on heavy narcotics. My mobility was non existant which only caused my body to deteriorate!
The breaking point was my wedding day in May of 09 when I couldn't enjoy the ceremony because of the pain I was in and the inability to stand long enough to say my vows! 2 days later I went to my first seminar, 10 months later had wls!
Its been the hardest thing I've ever done, I've had several complications and it hasn't by any means "cured" me but its made life livable again! It's reversed so many of the issues that were killing me! It's given my husband his wife back and its allowed me to do things I had all but given up hope of doing...like walking a 5k, being able to have kids(I'm now expecting my first after being told it would never happen), being able to take care of myself and for once feel good about who I am!

Oh, I'm so sorry about your mom and her second husband.  As an adult, when you tried to diet, did it bring up the abuse?  Don't feel you have to answer that if you don't want to.  It just seems to me that it would.

I think sexual abuse very often leads to eating disorders, sometimes anorexia or bulimia and sometimes over eating.  I've been hospitalized a couple times in a hospital that specializes in treating PTSD.  Well, trauma-related disorders, including PTSD.  I noticed that almost every single woman there was either dangerously underweight or very overweight.  There were more women than men, but many of the men were about average weight.  But for some reason abuse seems to trigger eating disorders in women.