So today was the day from hell at work. The setter ( area boss while setting up the store) was on my ass all day. Telling me I needed to move faster that I should know where everything was to go...really really? But when she told me I was being lazy and sent me off to another area to work like a child being sent to their room I got really pissed. Thing is I was working my ass off. Shelving product faster then the others in the area. Thing is she stopped to check on me when I stopped to read a page cause I could not find where a product with no id tag on it...but found where it went. So that is what she was basing all her rants on. 

Then she tried to chit chat with me not gonna happen. Yes I knw she is the boss (kinda) but being rude is not how you deal with people you are supposed to be teaching how to work an area. 

So I came home in a horrible mood. I cried almost the whole way home. Because I do not fail at things. I do not get accused of not working hard...its not in me to be that way. SO I get home and talk to Kas and he gets pissed I didnt talk to the head boss about how she talked to me. I told him I am not a snitch and I would just deal with it.Since she will be gone next week. So we got into a fight. But the thing is she is the one deciding if I am getting a job. 

So what did I do I ate..damn it I gave in to my emotions and freaking atecrap . I am now so upset with myself for doing so. And yes I know it is just this one time and new day tomorrow. But that doesn't help right now when I feel like **** THis is the first time I have broken my stick rules about food. The reason I got fat was due to emotional eating so I do not let myself near food if I am feeling badly. But I could just not stop. 

 Breathhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.......ahhhhhhhhhh. I am not sure of your age, but I am 53 and have so passed that level of letting people get to me like that. They have no power how to make YOU feel...YOU have the power...ALWAYS REMEMBER THAT!!!! One day does not change things a lot...get up and get back to your eating habits that you have learned and DO NOT LET SOMEONE MAKE YOU FEEL THAT!  You are BETTER then that!

Hang tough! Of course you were upset! You're human! You already feel bad enough- no beating yourself up on top of it! Back on the horse tomorrow!

Stop being mad at yourself.  Listen, you had a truly crappy day and came home needing comfort.  You tried talking to someone, which is a great way to deal with your emotions.  Only instead of being supportive and comforting, he was mad at you and critical of the way you handled the situation, making your day even more crappy than it already was.

You  needed comfort.  I'm guessing that at that point, you didn't know any other way to comfort yourself besides eating.  So don't beat yourself up about that.  You need to be able to comfort yourself, it's a healthy thing to comfort yourself... you just need to learn new ways to do it.  But if you haven't learned how yet, then don't be mad at yourself for not doing it.  How could you be expected to do it if you never learned?

That would be like,say, if I ate frozen pizza and potato chips for every meal because that's all I had available in my house or if that was the only thing I knew how to cook.  Is it healthy?  Nope.  But I gotta eat something, right?  Starving isn't the answer.  So if all I had available was pizza and chips, I'd eat them.  Should I be mad at myself if I ate them?

No, what I should do is go shopping and buy some other foods and learn how to cook something healthy.  But we should give ourselves a break when we do the best we can, even if it's not the healthiest thing.

And you learned a lot of important stuff here.  You learned that you need to have other options for comfort, and maybe you need to talk to Kas about what you would like from him when you're upset and need comfort.

I'm blaming the ozone hole.  I am your craptastic day soul mate.  Yes indeedy.
Major craptastic week for that matter.  My rose-colored glasses need cleaning badly. 
So, I did fine all day and ate 1 chocolate candy at work.  Now THAT says something
because I really hate chocolate.  My soul absolutely cried out for it today...and that's
a heap-o-crap for me to eat any kind of chocolate!  No big- 1 small chocolate. 
Then I came home and ate a DQ Dilly bar and a handful of chips.  Might just as well
pile it on! 
The moral of the story here is.........ok...........there is no moral.  But, I'm with ya sista.  We are human and we all have our limits.  I didn't eat a fraction of what I might have eaten BEFORE surgery, and I didn't tilt the cosmos or anything.  I ate some crap.  I'm not sure I feel
better for it, but it's a day in the grand scheme of things.  Next time I think I'll take a
walk or paint or do something I like for releasing stress because eating didn't do it for me. 
Now THAT's a milestone.....eating didn't do it for me.  I learned something huge and I
didn't gain back 80 pounds or anything.  I'm way down the road in life...58...with lessons
still to learn, but this is not something to derail about.  Be kind to yourself first.  Give
yourself a break.  As I tell a friend of mine, even an unbreakable willow needs a gentle
breeze now and again.  We all do.  So when life pushes you right to the brink and you find
it lined with food,  well...forgive yourself and take a tiny step back next time.  You have lots of compatriots on this journey.  If I can forgive myself a day of crap, you can too.  Let's wake
up to a better day tomorrow.  I'm aiming for less than craptastic tomorrow...and a vacation
soon so I can get those glasses of mine shined back up.
Here's to a better tomorrow for both of us my friend.

Everyone has covered the emotional stuff here, you have lots of support. On the work front tho, my hubby is a retail manager of 20+ years and he said that being so upset that you cried on the way home is not acceptable. He said that is someone he put in charge treated you that way it is harassment and he would want to know. He says its not being a snitch its being respected and you were not. Sometimes people need to be reminded of how they treat people. Even if everything she said was true, which it wasn't, she was still not allowed to talk to you that way and Wulf says he would have written her ass up. But if no one tells him it cant take a long time for him to find out, and he hates that.

 I'm sorry you had such a bad day & hoping it gets better for you today. Don't beat yourself up about the food - you tried better coping skills and it didn't work out. You're not at fault for that. You were working as hard as you could; you're not at fault for the boss's inappropriate managerial skills. Back on the horse and remind yourself today how fabulous you are!!

Oh Cheryl. First off, I don't like that so-called "setter." You want I should come beat her up?

I think, instead of doing the whole guilt/shame thing at your reaction to your stress, you might try to more academically analyze it. That's a hard thing to do because you have to let go of the emotions connected with what you did, own up to it, and break it down. Much more thought than you want to put into it, frankly. Guilt and shame? Those are judgments. In judgment there is no more deliberation. So in a sense, guilt and shame is taking the easy way out.

Instead, think about how you might have reacted differently. Relive those moments in your head and imagine them going the way you feel they should have. For instance, imagine yourself coming home, telling your hubby you need to go take a hot bath and asking him to make you some herbal tea. Imagine yourself in that tub envisioning "the setter" getting hit by a Mack truck and smiling at it (which is perfectly ok, btw).

By doing this, you give yourself a powerful tool for next time. Because guilt and shame tends to begat guilt and shame. It's a default we've been taught. You feel as if you shouldn't fail and that, through little fault of your own you did, so you created a situation where you DID fail so you could beat yourself up accordingly. Stop that. It's not healthy.

You didn't deserve how she treated you. It sucked. But it is more a reflection of HER poor management than it is on you. You don't deserve or need to be reprimanded or punished for anything. You are not a child. You're a grown woman and a good one at that.

So treat yourself like you are a grown woman. Treat yourself like someone who does NOT deserve the guilt and shame that you induce when you react to stress with food. Treat yourself like the person who deserves to feel triumphant because you didn't let that *itch get you down.

Because that's the Cheryl I know and adore.

Hugs.

 I want ot say thank you to all you great ladies! You all really helped me out alot. And you are forever in my heart. 
This morning I was not happy to go into work at all but I went. Well my boss saw me and asked what was wrong as I am usually happy when I get there. I said after they way I was treated yesterday he was lucky I came in today as hubby and I did talk and he said if I wanted to quit I could we would figure out how to bring in more money some other way. He got a deer in headlights look and said he would take care of it.

My "setter" was nice to me today so I figure he talked to her. Only one more week to work with her,,I can do this and not let her get to me. I can not control her but can control how i react to her. and I will be damned if she is gonna make me get off track again.