what we tell people

This is on my mind a lot, as I mentioned yesterday.  First, unlike saying, "I had gallbladder surgery,' or "I fell down the stairs," telling students I had WLS would open the door to a lot of questions.  Just using my parents and best friend as examples, I have answered lots of questions about food, tests, pain, etc.  And I can just see this becoming a reoccuring subject that I am just not comfortable talking about.  I don't tell students about my personal life in general, just because it (generally) does not have any relevance to what I teach and I want to be a teacher with integrity that uses her time wisely. 

The other issue I have is insurance related.  Teacher/contract bashing has become pretty popular and I just do not want to have a snarky parent tell me that my surgery has raised their property tax bill.  Believe me, things like that definitely happen.  I overheard a group of parents complaining once about all the "fat teachers driving up costs," and I just don't want to deal with the issue.

But, on the other hand, I find it really deceptive to just say diet and exercise, because, as you said, it never worked for me, and this is much more than just diet and exercise.  The shame of being obese my entire life just made me want to hide from the world and made me feel horrible that I could never achieve "normalcy" no matter how hard I tried.  How wonderful it would be to give overweight teens an example of a choice they could have in the future. 

Truthfully, I just hope no one ever notices or asks, lol.  But I know that is unrealistic, so I have to make a decision sometime soon.

What age group do you teach? 

 High school. 

Yeah, I would just tell them bluntly that your weight is not open for discussion and is inappropriate to ask about in a public forum.  Then change the subject.  They are not little kids they need the blunt admonishment.

Good luck!

I did not see the original post, but perhaps you could just tell the kids that your health isn't really an an appropriate topic for the classroom... but if they pu**** just tell them that you have been working with your doctor to lose weight..?

Lora

"but if they pu**** just tell them that you have been working with your doctor to lose weight..?"

I agree with the first part, but the second is still none of their business and the first should suffice.

To be truthful, I don't think the kids I'll be teaching this year will ask or notice (high school drama takes precedence), however prior students coming by to chat before/after school and between classes probably will.  It is those kids, the ones I have really good relationships with, that I am hesitant to deceive.  Plus of course coworkers who will be curious and if a select few find out, well then, it'll be open season for questions/comments. 

I know this is one of those issues I have to work through; I really do like being invisible (or as invisible as an almost 350lb woman can be...).

As a teacher, I kept it to myself. When I was gettign ready to be out to have the RNY, I mentioned, in a way truthfully, that I was having surgery to fix my GERD. I suffered from chronic laryngitis, and was told to change professions, that nothing would fix the GERD and my voice was going to go. When I found out that RNY would (possibly) fix my GERD issue, that is the ONLY thing that convinced me to do it. I would NOT have had the surgery just to lose weight. I had it, quite literally, to fix my voice issues... weight loss was going to be a pleasant side effect.

Except the exact nature of the surgery to fix my GERD issues, I was very open and honest, and told the kids that being able to TEACH meant a lot to me, and I would even have surgery to be able to continue.... and I mentioned at the time that it would change forever my relationship with food (far more than I anticipated as it turns out.... dumping, reactive hypoglycemia, lactose intolerance).

Not one person has ever asked if I had WLS.

I get what you're talking about when it comes to taxes. Lately homeowners voted to not continue paying a $1.19/month tax.... the result... I started this school year with two classes of 52 students each. (they finally created a third section, reducing my classes to 35 and 39 as of today). People don't need more excuses to think of teachers as the blood-suckers who caused the financial meltdown. TYVM!

 I think some people just need time to cope with the dramatic change they made to their body. I personally know that at first I was really ashamed that I got so heavy and to the point I NEEDED this surgery. Now though 5 months out I realize it was the best decision I made for myself and my daughter. I feel myself more comfortable to talk about it with people when they ask how I have lost the weight. Tho there is a few people who I still will not tell b/c it's none of their business and they just start crap. I don't disagree with people not telling other people it's a personal matter and to each his/her own. 

An interesting post. most of my teenagers in my classes are just beginning the journey to obesity. few are morbidly obese. And I think that for MOST of my teens that I teach... proper nutrition and exercise is the key to NOT continuing down the pathway to obesity.

I'm not defending my personal choice to keep surgery to myself. I have solid fiscal reasons for what I do (I did the math the other day, and likely if I had decided to share... I would have lost more than $50,000 in various opportunities, I had GOOD reasons to keep it to myself).

I did start improving my diet in the summer of 2007, I lost 53 pounds JUST with good diet (I'll never lie and say exercise because I STILL haven't begun to do THAT)... I ditched sodas, ditched candy, began protein shakes, stopped eating with my meals, and eliminated white carbs from my diet.. It's a GOOD recipe for success, and for a person who hasn't EVER been morbidly obese, I think it's a GOOD recipe for gaining control on obesity and beating it before surgery is even a possibility.

My kids know I drink protein shakes. I drink nothing BUT protein shakes. They know I don't eat candy, and that I don't drink with meals. (cows don't, I tell them). I encourage them to live a healthy lifestyle.

If gastric bypass comes up in the conversation (nobody asks if I have had it) I also champion that as an important medical intervention. If misinformation comes up, I mention that I frequent a dieting website where surgical solutions are one of the main topics, and I mention the kinds of successes my online friends have had.

My heart ACHES when I have a student who is morbidly or super morbidly obese. This year I have one student who looks like she is at LEAST 450 pounds, if not 550 pounds. My heart hurts for her, for the young woman who is literally dying in front of me. 17 years old and heading to an early grave. I'm almost certain that her family probably live below the poverty level, don't have health insurance and never will have health insurance, and I ache for the person she is, for the prison of fat she lives within. I make no secret about the fact that I am "into" dieting (in a weird way, to their perspective I am anyway) and if this girl or any of my other students spoke with me privately I might discuss some of the options that are possibilities for them.

I doubt that I would do it differently if I had it to do over again, because the fiscal incentive was what it was. But if I moved elsewhere and taught elsewhere I'd mention it proudly. I'm not normally secretive, but I had reasons for what I did. It's not as if I hide the fact that I'm a former fatty.... just imagine flapping batwings in front of a class full of teenagers... it's arizona, I'm not wearing long sleeves for anything... so I flap the wings and I'm proud of what I lost