what we tell people

That is exactly what I was thinking too.  Her kids are younger I think  6 & 7, but at that age they can still understand things if you put it at their level.  I would think since they are young, they would be upset she doesn't eat with them.

Sarah

I have actually told people about my surgery because I don't want them thinking I am sick.  My neighbor must have had it done because when I asked her how she was losing weight she told me smoking and drugs.  The rest of the neighborhood thought she had cancer.  I didn't want people who I don't see very often whispering behind my back and wondering if I was dying.

Kelly, I agree with you. I do believe there is a stigma attached to WLS. By me sharing and opening up it allows people to ask me questions about it and I hope reduces some of that stigma. People freak out when I tell them. THey gasp and say "oh you did" but you are doing so great, So and so I know had it done and they were a mess" People, I consider friends I even show them my 3 little incisions. I have had lengthy conversations with people (I am an open book with people I choose to be) about my surgery. They LOVE to ask me questions and I love to talk about it. Now that being said, it's not like I announced it on facebook or anything and I don't just share with Joe Schmo on the street that I had it. My niece is MO do I think the surgery is right for her? Heck no. But, that doesn't mean another teenager shouldn't.  

I agree that it is a concern, but I do not feel that just because a teacher choses to teach and they also fight obesity and chose to have the surgery that they are obligated to share that information with thier students.  Frankly, the teacher should just look at the kids that brought up the subject and say...this is my personal business not open for discussion and move on.
Teachers get into trouble regularly for sharing too much information, so they must draw the line because frankly you will get that one or two parents or students that will make an issue of it.  That is the unfortunate way of our society.

I don't feel that they are obligated to share that information either.

I had not thought of it being a problem of sharing too much personal information.   Would a teacher get in trouble or would any parents be upset if a teacher told her class she was not going to be there for a few days because she had to have her gall bladder removed?  If she showed up at school with a cast on her leg and students asked what happened, would she get in trouble or would any parents be upset if she told them she had fallen down the stairs?  Or is WLS different some how?

Unfortunately, it is the reality of today that there is a difference.  I have not made it a secret that I had WLS, however, if I were a teacher which I am not ( I come from a family of teachers though ) I would not even consider telling my students anything other than "my weight is not open for discussion." that is because there will be inevitably a parent out there that will say that I am sharing a personal and private choice in class and complain that I am implanting the fact that to cure obesity is simple just have WLSurgery.  Why would they put that nonesense in my childs head.  Now that is one possibility...but it is one of many scenario's that realistically is not worth losing your job over or written up for or even getting sanctioned by the Board of Education over.  There are some great open minded parents out there who believe that sharing things like WLS can be educational.  However there is always that one or two that make it difficult on everyone.  It is now becoming against the rules  for Teachers to let students friend them on facebook, because it is too personal, and allows for a relationship exist outside the school environment.  I personally understand both sides of that coin but I used it as an example of how easily lines can be blurred. We place a lot of responsibility on the people who educate our children but we cannot see it fit to pay them well for the work they do, and this is one more reason why I never went into teaching like the rest of my family did.  I think our children need to be exposed to real life scenarios.  I also realize that there are a few pedifiles out there that teach and cause those lines to be very clearly drawn to protect our children.  So where do we stop the micromanagement ?  Where do we draw the line?  Kindergarten teachers cannot even give a 5 year old a hug after they pick them up from scraping their knee without being concerned they will be accused of inappropriate contact.  A high school student has to have their parents consent to take a sex education class.  A male teacher cannot be alone in a room with a female student or a female teacher with a male student without concern for what my be said.  I could go on and on, but I think that pretty well covers why a teacher has to sensor what he or she says or does even outside of the school.
Great subject Kelly- Thank You.

When I had my tailbone removed last march I told the kids I was having "Spinal Surgery" .... I didn't want to discuss "tailbones" because kids take that and TAIL becomes ASS and etc .... didn't want them to know my butt was broken. But I did share in private with any kid who expressed concern.

I have been very open about my surgery, and decided to do so for two main reasons:

1) I had so much weight to lose, that everyone would have figured it out anyway

2) I was so damn sick of hearing people say that the weight would come off if I would just get serious about "eating less and exercising"  and -- along the lines of what you mentoned -- I felt it was extremely dishonest to say that I was doing it JUST by exercising and controlling my portions because, let's be honest, the surgery does MUCH of the work during that first year... the surgery gives you the malabsorption which contributes greatly to the weight loss and the surgery gives you a certain number of months of lack of appetite and severe caloric restriction... and NONE of those things can be attained by people who have not had surgery... so IMO it is dishonest to lead people to believe that those are the only two things contributing to our success. 

I understand that not everyone has the supportive reaction that I had (well, from everyone who mattered, anyway), and that some people are more private than others -- and I respect everyone's right to make their own decision about what to tell other people -- but I still personally feel that saying "diet and exercise" is disingenuous and -- as you point out -- may set others up for failing because they don't know that someone else had surgical help.

Look at how angry people got at Starr Jones... mostly because people felt she lied and was deceiving people into believing that she did it without surgical help... why hold her to a different standard?!? Is there really a difference between just not telling people about the surgery and in denying it when flat out asked?  Perhaps, but not IMO.

Lora

I have not had any bad experiences with telling people, but I understand that some people do.  The worst thing I had anyone say was that my partner's brother told him that three out of every one hundred people die from having WLS.  My partner came home pretty freaked out but I gave him some accurate statistics and he calmed down.

My mom, brother, and best friend all admitted that they were scared (but, heck, I was scared, too!).  My best friend wanted to be sure that I knew what I was doing and had thought it through (she knew I was not 100% comfortable with the bypass but understood why I felt the band wasn't an option), but she supported me even though SHE was not convinced I should do it.  I had a couple of people really said very little when I told them I was having surgery (so I took that to mean that they had nothing supportive to say... but I appreciate that, if they did not agree with my decision, they were respectful enough not to express their disapproval or try to talk me out of it).  I suspect that some of the support I received was because I was SO big (57 BMI) and clearly my health was in danger because of my size...

AFTER I had surgery, a couple of people indicated that they doubted that I would keep the weight off.. and there was the b*tch from grad school who made the nasty comment about how she expected that I would have been a lot smaller after having surgery... and someone who told someone else that I looked "sickly" after the surgery... but none of those people are "important" relationships, so once I got over being annoyed, it wasn't a big deal.

I am VERY thankful that the important people in my life were all supportive. My family is extremely small, so it was important to have their support and nice to have their help.  I wish everyone's key relationships were supportive but I know that's not the case.

Lora