HELP!! My son is sneaking food!
I need help! My 8 year old son has been caught several times sneaking food then not telling me the truth when I ask.
About 2 months ago he got into the FIber one granola bars. He ate 2 before bed and 2 after bed plus I gave him one in his lunch. The next day he woke up with the worst gas and diahrrea. I had to stay home from work because he couldn't get off the toliet. I knew right away what he ate but he said he didn't. Finally he admitted he ate a few more than I knew about. We talked about how I would never make him go hungry and that I was mostly upset with him not telling me the truth the first 2 times I asked.
Then a few weeks ago he asked if he could have a pop tart. I buy only one box a week because it's a treat they can have that doesn't tempt me at all. So about 2 hours later I come downstairs and he is opening a package. I asked him if that was package #2 or the first one. He said he was just now opening it. I knew he was lying. Had the same talk about sneaking food again.
Last week he got into the snack cakes at grandmas house. She told him he could have one but he put another one in his pocket then ate it in his bed. She caught him and explained how he didn't have to sneak and that he should only have one since they are so unhealthy.
Then we come to last night. We are having a birthday party and bought a bunch of cupcakes from Sams. He asked last night if he could have one and I told him to wait until the party and everyone would get 2. So I come downstairs and the cupcake box is open and there is blue frosting all over the box. He got in there and ate all the blue frosting and took the toy off one of the cupcakes. I asked if he ate it (thinking the dog could have gotten into them) and he said no. With blue icing all over his face I knew that was a lie.
Is this normal boy behavior?? I know I am overly cautious about what he eat because I do not want him to be overweight. All of this started when I stopped buying the junk food and just had a little bit as a treat. I usually let him pick one treat a week. When I kept the junk food stocked he didn't feel like he had to sneak it. HELP!! I don't want him to feel like he needs to sneak food like I did as a child. I don't want him to be 400 pounds by highschool like I was. :(
About 2 months ago he got into the FIber one granola bars. He ate 2 before bed and 2 after bed plus I gave him one in his lunch. The next day he woke up with the worst gas and diahrrea. I had to stay home from work because he couldn't get off the toliet. I knew right away what he ate but he said he didn't. Finally he admitted he ate a few more than I knew about. We talked about how I would never make him go hungry and that I was mostly upset with him not telling me the truth the first 2 times I asked.
Then a few weeks ago he asked if he could have a pop tart. I buy only one box a week because it's a treat they can have that doesn't tempt me at all. So about 2 hours later I come downstairs and he is opening a package. I asked him if that was package #2 or the first one. He said he was just now opening it. I knew he was lying. Had the same talk about sneaking food again.
Last week he got into the snack cakes at grandmas house. She told him he could have one but he put another one in his pocket then ate it in his bed. She caught him and explained how he didn't have to sneak and that he should only have one since they are so unhealthy.
Then we come to last night. We are having a birthday party and bought a bunch of cupcakes from Sams. He asked last night if he could have one and I told him to wait until the party and everyone would get 2. So I come downstairs and the cupcake box is open and there is blue frosting all over the box. He got in there and ate all the blue frosting and took the toy off one of the cupcakes. I asked if he ate it (thinking the dog could have gotten into them) and he said no. With blue icing all over his face I knew that was a lie.
Is this normal boy behavior?? I know I am overly cautious about what he eat because I do not want him to be overweight. All of this started when I stopped buying the junk food and just had a little bit as a treat. I usually let him pick one treat a week. When I kept the junk food stocked he didn't feel like he had to sneak it. HELP!! I don't want him to feel like he needs to sneak food like I did as a child. I don't want him to be 400 pounds by highschool like I was. :(
I would talk to nutritionist and to a therapist. In my opinion, this is troubling.
My sister and I talk about this very thing all the time. While grown up our parents NEVER, N E V E R, brought goodies into our home. As a result, my brother, sister and I never learned to control ourselves around these types of food. It's as if when we came into contact with Coke, cookies, chips.... we had to eat it all immediately because we knew we would not get another chance. My brother would sneak food in the middle of the night - and not junk food. Now he has partial amputations on both feet due to his diabetes, and is not in the best of health.
My husband, children and friends, on the other hand who grew up with the cabinets full of goodies can take them or leave them. Maybe that is not always the case, but your comment about this starting when you stopped buying the food except for treats propelled me back in time. Even now, TODAY, I do not allow those kinds of foods in the house because they are triggers I never learned to control. My family is fine with that because they tell me they can get what they want when they are out. However when my kids were younger and living at home, we had all that stuff, BUT I am the only family member who was obese. Not one of them was even slightly overweight. I would, however, search for a solution now.
My sister and I talk about this very thing all the time. While grown up our parents NEVER, N E V E R, brought goodies into our home. As a result, my brother, sister and I never learned to control ourselves around these types of food. It's as if when we came into contact with Coke, cookies, chips.... we had to eat it all immediately because we knew we would not get another chance. My brother would sneak food in the middle of the night - and not junk food. Now he has partial amputations on both feet due to his diabetes, and is not in the best of health.
My husband, children and friends, on the other hand who grew up with the cabinets full of goodies can take them or leave them. Maybe that is not always the case, but your comment about this starting when you stopped buying the food except for treats propelled me back in time. Even now, TODAY, I do not allow those kinds of foods in the house because they are triggers I never learned to control. My family is fine with that because they tell me they can get what they want when they are out. However when my kids were younger and living at home, we had all that stuff, BUT I am the only family member who was obese. Not one of them was even slightly overweight. I would, however, search for a solution now.
You are so right you almost made me cry!!!! Growing up my dad was diabetic and we NEVER ever had any kind of treats. I was overweight since childhood. My brother wasn't. I remember my mom buying a few crap things for him but I wasn't allowed to eat them. She thought she was doing what was good for me but all it really did was make me sneak food and eat it like I would never get it again.
My step dad has 3 kids, they have tons of junk food in their house and they are the most healthy people I know. They can have a box of snack cakes in the pantry for weeks and not touch it.
I refuse to let him grow up fat like I did. So far he average size and I will do what it takes to keep it that way!!! We see his doctor this week, this is at the top of my list!
My step dad has 3 kids, they have tons of junk food in their house and they are the most healthy people I know. They can have a box of snack cakes in the pantry for weeks and not touch it.
I refuse to let him grow up fat like I did. So far he average size and I will do what it takes to keep it that way!!! We see his doctor this week, this is at the top of my list!
I understand why you're concerned. One thing that might help us help you is to tell us what you did when you discovered he was sneaking food. For instance, when he looked at you with blue icing on his face and told you he didn't get into the cupcakes, did you just accept his lie? Letting him get away with the lies will just encourage him to continue them. There needs to be some consequences for his actions.
For the most part it seems like he's overeating the treats you buy for him and lying about it because you monitor what he eats so closely. What you might do is tell him that the box of pop tarts (or whatever) is his box of treats for the whole week. If he eats them all the first day, he won't have any treats for the rest of the week. At 8, he's old enough to figure out that if he wants a treat on Thursday, he'd better not eat all the pop tarts on Monday. That takes you out of the role of food cop and encourages him to exercise some self control.
For the most part it seems like he's overeating the treats you buy for him and lying about it because you monitor what he eats so closely. What you might do is tell him that the box of pop tarts (or whatever) is his box of treats for the whole week. If he eats them all the first day, he won't have any treats for the rest of the week. At 8, he's old enough to figure out that if he wants a treat on Thursday, he'd better not eat all the pop tarts on Monday. That takes you out of the role of food cop and encourages him to exercise some self control.
Mary Catherine
on 8/14/11 12:24 am
on 8/14/11 12:24 am
I raised one son and when he was young I read about a study on nutrition. What it said is that if a child is offered a multitude of foods that they will eventually pick the most nutritionous ones. They put kids in a room with cupcakes, pies, cakes, donuts, whole grain breads, candy, fruit, vegtables, lean meats, fatty meats, and told them that they could eat anything they wanted.
At first the kids gorged themselves on the desserts and high fat meals. Then after a few days they wanted the healthy foods and lost interest in the sweets. At the end of two weeks, all of the kids were reaching for the healthy foods. I always had cake, cookies, ice cream, and candy in my house while my son was growing up.
I restricted myself, but Kevin and his friends could eat as much as they wanted of any dessert. A few times, my husband was upset when he saw them with a pound bag of M&M's. My husband was raised in a house where his mother hid candy and cookies. He and all of his siblings grew up with cravings for sweets and all were overweight adults. My husband could never eat dessert in a resturant. He felt ashamed and would only eat a piece of cake or pie at home.
Kevin is 38 now and has stayed slim and healthy. His friends that were raised by parents who controlled their diets and hid the sweets are now morbidly obese. Eve might have never reached for that apple if it had not been forbidden.
At first the kids gorged themselves on the desserts and high fat meals. Then after a few days they wanted the healthy foods and lost interest in the sweets. At the end of two weeks, all of the kids were reaching for the healthy foods. I always had cake, cookies, ice cream, and candy in my house while my son was growing up.
I restricted myself, but Kevin and his friends could eat as much as they wanted of any dessert. A few times, my husband was upset when he saw them with a pound bag of M&M's. My husband was raised in a house where his mother hid candy and cookies. He and all of his siblings grew up with cravings for sweets and all were overweight adults. My husband could never eat dessert in a resturant. He felt ashamed and would only eat a piece of cake or pie at home.
Kevin is 38 now and has stayed slim and healthy. His friends that were raised by parents who controlled their diets and hid the sweets are now morbidly obese. Eve might have never reached for that apple if it had not been forbidden.
When I caught him the first time I tried to explain that I would never deny him food. I only limit the sweets because I don't want him to be overweight like I am. He sees the struggle I have and knows I do not want that for him. We also talk a lot about bullying and overweight kids are picked on. He is ultra sensitive to other peoples feelings and often sticks up for being being picked on.
What I focused mostly on was him lying to me. I told him it makes me really upset that he would lie to me, especially about food, something that he should not have to lie about. Each time he says he lied because he knew that I would be mad. He knows right from wrong but is choosing not to follow what he knows is right.
I like the idea of letting him have full access to the junk food until his box is gone.
We had a long talk this morning about that idea. Yesterday I let him get a pack of pringles chips to take for snack at daycare. I told him they are his and he can do what he wants with them but when they are gone and he has to take an orange for a snack then that was his choice.
I thought he would run in there and open them up but he didn't. He wants to try to make this last all week. WHY DIDN"T I THINK OF THAT IDEA??? LOL
I appreciate the tips and advice. I am in no way perfect and willing to do and try whatever I have to do to prevent him going down the road I am on. Thanks for your input!
What I focused mostly on was him lying to me. I told him it makes me really upset that he would lie to me, especially about food, something that he should not have to lie about. Each time he says he lied because he knew that I would be mad. He knows right from wrong but is choosing not to follow what he knows is right.
I like the idea of letting him have full access to the junk food until his box is gone.
We had a long talk this morning about that idea. Yesterday I let him get a pack of pringles chips to take for snack at daycare. I told him they are his and he can do what he wants with them but when they are gone and he has to take an orange for a snack then that was his choice.
I thought he would run in there and open them up but he didn't. He wants to try to make this last all week. WHY DIDN"T I THINK OF THAT IDEA??? LOL
I appreciate the tips and advice. I am in no way perfect and willing to do and try whatever I have to do to prevent him going down the road I am on. Thanks for your input!
No, it's not normal. I mean, maybe lots of kids do that once or twice in their lifetimes, but not often like this.
It sounds like somehow he's gotten the idea that those are things he's not supposed to eat (or enjoy) so he feels like he has to sneak them and lie about it. I understand that you want your child to be healthy and I'm sure you didn't mean to give him that idea. Maybe it didn't even come from you. Please understand I'm not suggesting you've done anything wrong as a parent.
Feeding kids is tricky issue and it's an emotional issue. There is a pediatric dietician named Ellyn Satter that has written a lot on the issue. Basically, her idea of how parents should deal with kids and food is that there should be a division of responsibility. Parents should decide what to serve, when to serve it and where to serve it (sitting at the table, not in front of the TV). Kids should be allowed to decide if they want to eat and how much. If they are allowed to decide, kids will generally regulate their food intake very well. If parents don't try to get them to eat more or try to limit how much they eat, kids will eat when hungry and stop when full.
She does say that it's OK to limit the sweets and on her website explains how she thinks is the best way to do that.
Here's the link: www.ellynsatter.com/
It sounds like somehow he's gotten the idea that those are things he's not supposed to eat (or enjoy) so he feels like he has to sneak them and lie about it. I understand that you want your child to be healthy and I'm sure you didn't mean to give him that idea. Maybe it didn't even come from you. Please understand I'm not suggesting you've done anything wrong as a parent.
Feeding kids is tricky issue and it's an emotional issue. There is a pediatric dietician named Ellyn Satter that has written a lot on the issue. Basically, her idea of how parents should deal with kids and food is that there should be a division of responsibility. Parents should decide what to serve, when to serve it and where to serve it (sitting at the table, not in front of the TV). Kids should be allowed to decide if they want to eat and how much. If they are allowed to decide, kids will generally regulate their food intake very well. If parents don't try to get them to eat more or try to limit how much they eat, kids will eat when hungry and stop when full.
She does say that it's OK to limit the sweets and on her website explains how she thinks is the best way to do that.
Here's the link: www.ellynsatter.com/
Kelly
Please note: I AM NOT A DOCTOR. If you want medical advice, talk to your doctor. Whatever I post, there is probably some surgeon or other health care provider somewhere that disagrees with me. If you want to know what your surgeon thinks, then ask him or her. Check out my blog.
I can only speak from my experience, but I wish my mother had restricted my access to sweets when I was growing up. I have a real problem with control around certain sweet things and can't have them in the house.
I didn't want my son to struggle like that, so back when he was a baby, I read I should introduce vegetables and no sweets the first year to avoid the dreaded sweet tooth. So that's what I did, even though my mom kept telling me I was being too extreme by not giving him sweets when he was young.
I think he was 4-5 yrs old and then a neighbor gave him some starburst. He drooled like a dog because he wasn't used to having sweet taste in his mouth. After that I allowed some sweet things and now he is 14 and has very little body fat. He rarely eats candy. In fact I often offer it to him and he refuses.
There are some sweet things he likes, but for the most part he just doesn't want it. I'm very grateful for that and I'd like to think it was because his savory tooth was developed well before the introduction to sweets. (His dad used to try and coax him to drink pepsi- which horrified me, but I needn't have worried because he just won't drink it -or any carbonated drink for that matter)
I didn't want my son to struggle like that, so back when he was a baby, I read I should introduce vegetables and no sweets the first year to avoid the dreaded sweet tooth. So that's what I did, even though my mom kept telling me I was being too extreme by not giving him sweets when he was young.
I think he was 4-5 yrs old and then a neighbor gave him some starburst. He drooled like a dog because he wasn't used to having sweet taste in his mouth. After that I allowed some sweet things and now he is 14 and has very little body fat. He rarely eats candy. In fact I often offer it to him and he refuses.
There are some sweet things he likes, but for the most part he just doesn't want it. I'm very grateful for that and I'd like to think it was because his savory tooth was developed well before the introduction to sweets. (His dad used to try and coax him to drink pepsi- which horrified me, but I needn't have worried because he just won't drink it -or any carbonated drink for that matter)
HW: 218, SW: 204, CW: 139 GW: 112-119
I don't know if it is normal, but it would concern me. My 10 year old daughter used to do it. She is like me in that she had a tendency to gain weight. It has gotten better. I still don't keep a lot of junk food in the house. I keep lots of fruits and veggies cut up and ready to eat in the fridge. I also taught her how to read a serving size on the box. Now she will measure out how much is in a serving. Before she would fill a 16 oz cup with gold fish crackers or chips. I only buy a certain amount of snacks for the week. Once it is gone they don't have anything else to snack on. We have also talked about how it is OK to eat junk food, but we need to eat more of the healthy stuff. I still let her have junk food, but now we go out to buy it instead of keeping it in the house. It really helps that she is a very logical child. Reasoning would have never worked with my older daughter.
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