Emotional Mess

In the past 2 hours, I have taken my daughter to Junior High to show her around and meet her teachers before her first day.  Then, I took my son to the High School to pick up his schedule and show him around and meet his teachers before his first day on Monday.  In 2 weeks, I will put my oldest son on an airplane to San Antonio, Texas for Lackland Air Force Base to begin his basic training.  From there he will go to Witchita Falls and then onto either Seattle or Charleston.  He MIGHT be home fo Christmas but probably won't see him again until January.  This is alot for a mom to take in.  There are just too many life changing moments going on at one time right now!

On top of all of that with my babies, my marriage is going down hill faster than I could have ever imagined.  It's been heading in this direction but the pace is just speeding up quicker than I expected.  The sad part is that I'm not  as upset about that as I am my kids growing up.  Maybe that is a sign that this is meant to be.

4 months ago, I would have buried myself in a box of Oreos and some Blue Bell ice cream.  Now I'm at a loss...my best friend aka FOOD is no longer my shoulder to cry on.  I've tried burying myself in a book, doing some crotcheting, or just going to the gym when it gets to be more than I can handle at night.  How do you handle stress / depression now?  I don't need meds or anything like that...I just wish life would slow down a little and let me catch up.

Well, you've tried all sorts of things to distract yourself from the feelings and it's not working.  So what about allowing yourself to feel the feelings?  Feeling stressed and depressed sure isn't fun, but they're just feelings.  How about journaling and talking to someone about what's going on?

After you let yourself feel the feelings, then try to comfort yourself.

You're right.  The only problem is that I feel if I start feeling or crying I won't be able to stop.  It's a struggle right now to get dressed in the morning without tearing up....it's that dang CMT I listen to in the morning.  Listening to country music could become the death of me right now.  So I have made the decision to listen to the music on SIRIUS in the morning while I'm getting dressed now.  LOL

I tried going to a therapist one time but I am a TERRIBLE patient.  I wanted her to tell me what was wrong with me and I wanted her to fix me in the first session.  All she wanted was for me to talk to her.  Hell I can do that with my best friend.  I never went back.  Maybe I should try again?

Yes, go back to the counselor.  She/he was right--you are the only one who can fix you.

You want to cry because your babies are all growing up and going out into the world, and
your marriage seems to be going down the crapper?  Sounds perfectly reasonable to me.

(((Hugs)))

Thanks Lynn!

I'll tell you what a therapist once told me.  It might feel like if you start crying you'll never stop, but you will.  There has never been a person that cried forever.

Therapy has helped me a lot.  It sounds like last time you tried it, you had unrealistic expectations.  No therapist can fix you in one session.  And really, therapists don't fix you - they help you fix yourself.  You can absolutely talk to your best friend and I think that would help.  But talking to a therapist can help, too.  A good therapist can help you figure out stuff about yourself and help you figure out how to fix yourself.  A good therapist can  help you feel the feelings without the feelings then lasting forever.

Massage Therapy.
Works for me every time.

I think that would be great.  I wouldn't even know where to begin looking for one here!

When I first started counseling I knew I would be done in 6 weeks because there was no way I was gonna pay someone to "be my friend". Well, 6 YEARS later I am still in counseling and I have told my therapist to just settle in for the long haul. I love having someone who accepts me, doesn't judge me but is completely honest with me. A friend may say "there there it isn't your fault...it's all those other meanie-heads" when in reality you need to make adjustments.
Or maybe you need to hear from someone completely unattached that you are doing the right thing.

(and nothing wrong with medication either if you have other pain you take something for it?)

Oh no there is nothing wrong with meds at all.  I didn't mean that to sound bad.  I've tried several but I NEVER have a good reaction to them.  They make me feel so zonked out that I can't function.  My best friend is all about honesty and has no problem telling me I'm the problem. LOL  Sometimes I think about finding a different friend that is most "suiting" to my needs.  LMAO.