Lack of support..... kinda a shocker... but I will not be undone!!

 I would have loaded up a garbage bag with all the crap she bought, and thrown it out. For whatever reasons of her own, she is undermining you and making your life much more stressful, when you should be focusing and putting your energy into recovery.

I'm so sorry that you had to deal with that during a time that loved ones should be supportive and helpful. I understand what you are going through.....although I love my mom very much, sometimes she can be so negative about everything! Sometimes I find that the people in our lives that love us try to bring us back to their level when we make big decisions that will be helping us better ourselves. I have seen my in-laws do it all the time, and sometimes my family.

I think the way you handled it by laughing about it was great! It probably made her made that her "scheme" wasn't working.
Keep your chin up and know that you always have the board here if you need us. God Bless.
Kristina

That should say  "made her mad" not "made her made." Ugh. Dumb fingers.

 Holy Crap!!  I know you love your mom, I do too, but they can really get on your nerves at times right!!  Sorry to say though, comments like those your mom makes come from all kinds of people at different times!  I am 3 months in, lost 45lbs already, wearing my size 12 jeans today and feeling so good!  It is all worth it at some point, even thought the road is paved with nay sayers,temptations, emotions, regrets, pain and frustration.....it has it's good side too.  The first week is horrible!  It will get better soon.

AND You have stalls to look forward too...LOL!  If you think you mom is frustrating, wait for those to come.  But like you said, when you are 150lbs and riding with your kids at the amusement park the rest of the world can be eating whatever it wants!

Stay strong!!!  

I really appreciate all the responses and support.  This has been a very frustrating and trying time for me but life is good. I'm down 11lbs since surgery (last Thursday) and I'm slowly chipping away at the days until I can move on to mushy/pureed food!! LOL  Looking forward to some cottage cheese and refried beans!! So not all is bad I guess.  

Someone mentioned a possible reason for her to be doing this and another mentioned the scooter she rides in the stores so I wanted to address those.  She is a severe insulin resistant diabetic and also has high blood pressure that she uses 3 BP meds to control.  She is also obese and has had to have her knees replaced (while in her mid 50's) due to the weight issues she's had most of her life.  

So with THAT said, I think she's jealous that I've made a positive choice to avoid her health issues. I don't have high BP and I don't have diabetes.... although I would surely have had both if I continued down my path.  I have chosen another direction and decided to get serious and get healthy.  I don't want to become my mother (health wise).  So I think she just sees that I actually am being proactive and fighting against this obese life and making better choices for myself and she's acting out like a 3 year old against it.  Plus she probaby does't know what I'll be like when I have this weight off of me..... I sometimes wonder if she's worried I'll change or worry I won't be the same loving daughter.  Perhaps I'll becoming a "health preacher" and make her feel guilty and bad for her food choices??  People fear the "unknown" and this might be one for her. I think there's probaby a lot going on here and I just wish she'd communicate it rather then act out with it.  Either way, the way she chooses to deal with her feelings are on her just as much as the way I choose to deal with mine are on me.  I chose positivity and health!! :)  

Again, thank you for all of your support and kind words.  I really needed it. 
Ginger

Ginger:

You're a gem and you're handling things very well.  It's a tough situation you're in and I think your class and tact will send the message to your mom that your life is your own and you are sticking by your good choices, whether she likes it or not.  There's really no point in adding stress by causing a permanent rift.....your mom is your mom after all.  As they say, you can't pick your family.  Hang in there and breathe a deep sigh of relief when she's gone and all the junk and sabotage are gone with her.  You are very mature and strong as a rock and you'll do amazingly well.  I wish you health and happiness and can't wait to see your huge smiley a few months down the road when you're many sizes smaller, many pounds are gone forever, and a new life is in the works.  Best wishes!

 Wow! Trial by fire! Your mom almost beats out my mom on immaturity. In fact, they sound like they'd be perfect friends - wanna ship your mom off to Westminster for a few days? Ha ha ha Just kidding. I don't think the world's big enough for that much negativity... Keep your chin up, throw the crap out when she leaves, and chalk it up to NEVER asking her to "help" again. Some people are just too self-absorbed to ever be someone's social support.

I'm sorry you are having a hard time with you so called "help" right now! that has to really stink, and you are much stronger than me because that would have killed me if my mom (who also came to help me out with my three kids) would have acted that way. I think she does sound a bit jealous of you and what this means to you. I had a "friend" act that way towards me and i had to cut ties with her, unfortunetly it's kinda hard to cut ties with your momma! Get your support from here, your hubby and your kids and a close friend!

Eventually though you are going to have to sit her down for a real heart to heart. Or else it's going to be pretty rough down the line when you DO succeed! The last thing you want is negativity from someone you love dearly because there will be many ups and downs on this road!

wishing you the best on your journey

You are doing INCREDIBLY, UNBELIEVABLY well under your cir****tances. I don't know why our Moms say and do the stuff they do. I suppose I do it to my kids too, but I sure hope not.

Keep up the GREAT work!!!! The first week post op is hell and you have gotten through it absolutely beautifully. You are a strong, strong woman and whenever you doubt that in the future you can look back on this little episode and be reassured.

I know I couldn't handle what you dealing with with such grace. Mom would have been on the next flight out after the episode in the hospital, or at the latest, after the trip to the grocery store to get all of the crap you had asked folks specifically not to get.

Keep taking care of yourself. You're doing great and that bodes extremely well for your success as you continue your postop journey.=)

I'm a so impressed with your ability to see what's really going on and to still be loving to your mom.
You are a wise and loving daughter.
I hope this next week passes quickly!
Deb T