Lack of support..... kinda a shocker... but I will not be undone!!

So this week after surgery hasn't been the easiest emotionally or mentally for me.  My mom (who has been my best friend for many years) came to stay with me during my recovery time.  She was supposed to be such a great help with my 5 kids and wanted to help make my shakes so all I had to do was rest and recover. 

Well, somewhere along the way that intention got lost.  She has fought with my husband and made things very tense in our home.  She's also having a bit of a medical issue (a hemmroid) and has laid around and demanded help from my kids. I've made every one of my own shakes (minus one today that my 12 year old asked if he could make me).  And she has been the WORST support EVER throughout this last week.  

During my hospital stay (the second night I was there---night before discharge) she went to the vending machine and stocked up on 2 bags of Famous Amos cookies and 4 (yes 4!!!) Dr. Peppers.  She proceeded to sit in my room and gorge herself on them and then talk about how good they were and what a bummer it would be that I can't have them anymore.  This is AFTER I told her that the discussion of pizza they had for lunch was really grossing me out and requested her to please stop talking about food.  So I sat there and grinned and beared it.  Never saying anything.  She said the machine was kinda new and she didn't know how to work it and that's why she ended up with 4 sodas.  I doubt it.  

The day after I got home from the hospital my mom took my kids to Sam's club and they came home with doughnuts, pastries, danishes, soda, honeybuns, chips, cheese popcorn, 3 cheesecakes, ice cream etc etc etc.  I distinctly told her a few months prior to surgery that I had rid my home of all such things (cars/sweet bread items) because I didn't need the temptation.  I also told her that I had planned on keeping all of that out of the house for awhile after surgery because I wanted to make sure I was on the road to recovery and doing what I needed to do.  And then here it is.  To top it all off she says "I was going to get  alot more stuff but the kids kept telling me that I was spending too much and getting too much already"  My kids have been soooooo well trained and are my biggest cheerleaders through this procedure so far.  I bet it was a lot of her just tossing things in the cart as she rode along on her scooter.  IRRITATING!

I didn't say anything about the junk she's bought because I wanted to avoid the fight and reduce the stress in the home. Plus I realize she's only here for 2 weeks and I don't want to do anything to cause permanent damage to our relationship (she's a drama queen and I'd forever hear "Today we had such and such for breakfast.. oh wait.. .should I not talk about food in front of you??"). Then on day 2 of being home she says "Watching you drink all these protein shakes, couldn't you really go for some Popeyes right now?".  She KNOWS Popeyes was my biggest weakness pre-op.  I must have turned my head towards her really quickly because she threw her hand up over her mouth and laughs and says "Oops!  I'm sorry, I did that on purpose.  I shouldn't have done that, I'm sorry"  and I said, "Why would you do that?"  and she just said "Sorry".  Later in the evening I wasn't feeling my best and I was just kinda quiet and she asked if I was mad at her and I said, "Nope, not at all...... in a year when I'm 150lbs and loving my life and enjoying every amusement park ride with my kids..... you can have your Popeyes"  and laughed.  

In addition to the above things, I have heard how every woman that walks by is wearing inappropriate clothing and looks so awful and should be ashamed of what she's wearing..... then she adds "God, I hope you don't do that when you lose all your weight". 

I'm frustrated but man, I am handling this WELL.  I figure if I can get past THIS kind of temptation and frustration just one week post-op, I will definitely have a leg up on handling it in the weeks, months, years to come!!

Yeah, I thought I was a lot weaker ..... but I guess I'm stronger then anyone (including me) thought!!!  Take that Mother of all Temptations!!! lol

Ginger

I'm so sorry your Mom is being so immature and childish.

If it wouldn't cause problems down the road, I'd ask her to leave NOW. If the Sam's stuff is unopened, can you return it? I shop at Sam's only occasionally, though it's about time for a Sam's run since the kids are going back to school in a few weeks and we buy stuff for their lunches there.

Good luck with getting through this. You can be strong and take care of your nutritional needs!

*Hugs*

Susan

Good for you! Always remember that A Ha! Moment. You are stronger than you think!

So sorry you've had to deal with that. Hang in there and remember - we're always here for you!

Wow. I'd ask her to leave and make sure it was a long long time until I saw her again. Sorry you're having such stress when you need to be resting and recovering. I guess you know NOT to call her the next time you need "help"...

Laura

 Now, where is my like button???  

Susan used my exact words. You have one more child in the house. That one has a var and a credit card and knows how to use it.
It is time to go.
For everyone else in this situation, if you hae a visitor in the hospital who is making you sick, call for the nurse. The RN will have no problem doing what it takes to protect her patient. Then the authority figure can be the fall guy.

I meant car not var. Hard to believe I was the school spelling champ. Just not the typing champ.

First of all, I would like to say congratulations on having your surgery and a new lease on life.  Then, I feel the need to say, I'm so sorry for what you are going through.  You said she was on a "scooter"?  Maybe she's a little jealous that you actually got the strength to change your life for the better......I really am sorry for what you are going through........You can come and live with me for a while.........I don't have any of that stuff in my house anymore!     I remember when I came home from the hospital with my new baby boy after a C-Section.....my mother in law showed up at 7 am the next day and dropped off her 8 year old daughter.........didn't show back up until 7:30 that night.....now an 8 year old isn't bad but she was so jealous of my daughter (5 at the time), she didn't want her to look at the baby, constant fighting.......I was bawling my eyes out and when my husband came home from work he thought I was gonna bust a stitch!  You are way stronger than me!!!!  Keep up the good work, she'll be gone before you know it!

you know what? it is time for her to leave. she is NOT supporting you and that was the goal of her going there in the first place. She may be your mother but you do not have to stand for all the excuse me BULL**** here. You just had surgery. Her doing the stuff with the food is out of line. She is disrespecting you and if the tables were turned I am sure she would be right up in your koolaid like a psycho. Ask her to leave. She is not helpig you one bit.