My pouch is gone

It’s true. It’s all but gone. I can eat meals as large or larger than many other people eat. I can eat when I get out of bed in the morning. I haven’t vomited in I don’t know when (I am grateful!) and I haven’t dumped in ages.

My pouch, I believe, has become a more reasonable capacity stomach.

 

But here’s the significant part. That’s ok!!!

 

I’m not freaking out about this. I actually like being able to eat more normally. What I am grateful for, though, is the work I invested in over the past 3.5 years to know what is worth putting in my body and what wasn’t worth my time. I have basically been forced to learn to deal with my feelings (and I’m not always saying I’m mature about that) instead of eating them. I have learned what exercise I like and I have developed well tended aversions to certain toxic relationships, behaviors and food.

 

Let’s be clear (deposit 5 cents into Obama fund): I am NOT saying I’m all the way there. I doubt I ever will be. I’m a food addict. I manage my addiction (most days) but I’m never graduated, never “over it." I never get to “just be normal" and I know and have accepted that.

 

But what I do have is enough tools and knowledge to know that even though my pouch seems to act more like a normal stomach, I AM STILL SAILING THIS SHIP. I am in control of this situation. I make the decisions. Just because I can eat more volume and more variety doesn’t mean I HAVE to regress to my old ways.

 

I have a choice. That’s what RNY (and most especially the recovery process) has given me.

 

Just thought I’d share.

I am not that far behind you Niki and I do have bigger pouch days and other days I barely can eat much of anything at all. But over all even on the 'big' pouch days I still can only eat normal size servings. I can no where even approach the levels of volume I could eat before I had surgery.

I know how to eat correctly now and most of the time I do. I will occasionally try something I shouldn't and unfortunately many times I get away with it. But I now know that it doesn't have to ruin my whole day and I am never starting over. I am just continuing on past it.

I suspect you still have your pouch but have adjusted to its capacity and just see portions differently. I think that is what has happened with me as well. Our brain wasn't operated on physically but over time it has been 'operated on' after all.

Yep, I think we’re both thinking the same way.

 

But the way I consider it, my pouch is pretty much gone. When I say I can eat a normal portion, that’s a normal portion of what a person who eats  healthfully would eat. For a long time I couldn’t achieve that because of the pouch. I don’t have small pouch days anymore. Small pouch moments sometimes, but I don’t remember the last day I straight up couldn’t eat three whole meals in a day.

 

Like I said, I’m not freaked out about it or anything. I’m grateful. Like you said, I KNOW how to eat correctly. I know what’s good for me and what isn’t. Occasionally I indulge and there aren’t any consequences.

I would say the only thing pouch like about me these days is that I know what I can eat a lot of (salad, etc.) and what I can’t (really heavy, fatty dishes) so I tend to veer toward things that I can eat a good deal of. Because at the end of the day, addiction issues aside, I’m still a foodie. I like good food and don’t find anything wrong with experiencing it!

 

 

AMEN, SISTER!!!!!!!

 You are an inspiration Nik to so many of us newbies!

 What an inspirational post... Thank you!

Nik, I really appreciate this post!  I've been feeling a bit freaked out lately about my pouch capacity at just over 2 years out.  I know it's no where near what I ate before my RNY, but it still scares me to be able to eat like a "normal" person.   I can eat around 6 oz of chicken or turkey with a small salad.  I can eat a cup of cottage cheese with a cup of sliced strawberries or a cup of blueberries.  As I type this, it doesn't sound like SO much food, but sometimes after I've eaten, and don't feel "stuffed", it seems weird to me.  It seems like only yesterday that I was stuffed from eating a quarter cup of food!

Now if I could just break my "addiction" to sugar-free Fudgesicles........

I am not there. Somedays I wish I had a bigger pouch. Usually when I'm at a restaurant and I've had a tiny bit of an appetitzer and I'm done. I do have some big pouch days but really..I still feel very restricted space wise.
Deb T.