It should be MY decision who I tell about my WLS!

I am seriously pissed off.  No one seems to respect MY privacy!  Grrrrrrrrrr

I don't have a good relationship with my stick skinny mother in law.  She told me once that everyone can lose weight on their own.  It's a total decision and you have to make good choices in life.  She said SHE herself was overweight as a teenager and since SHE managed to lose the "bulk" (her words) that everyone should.  I was surprised she was ever overweight and asked her how big she had gotten.  She thought for a second and said "Oh wow.... I must have gotten up to about 150lbs"  I remember thinking right then how much of a ***** she was LOL 

Anyway, I definitely did NOT want her knowing I was having surgery.  She lives about 300 miles from us and we NEVER see her..... I haven't seen her in YEARS so I figured I could lose weight and then just tell her at my own desire or keep it to myself.  Whatever. 

But noooo my husband and I are having a lot of problems and he's decided to leave but for financial reasons we can't physically separate..... long story... anyway HE tells her!  UGH!!!! He says "Well I figure it doesn't matter anymore" 

Then this morning I got an email through facebook from a friend of mine back home (where my mother still lives) and she asks how I'm feeling.  I asked my mother (who is here visiting for my recovery period) if she said anything to this friend and she says "Oh yeah!  They've been praying for you!"  Hello?????? What part of "I want to keep this surgery to myself for awhile" wayyyyyy back when I was just going through all the tests and stuff did she NOT get?  

Ok, trying to keep emotions in check. I've been feeling very grouchy lately but I am hot!!  I think everyone who has surgery should make their own minds up as to who they wish to tell and who they don't.  I know some shout it from the mountaintops but some want to keep it to themselves!

Irritated,
Ginger

Ok...breathe...

First YOU ARE 100% RIGHT. Who you tell is YOUR decision.

Second, so she knows. Did the world end? Did the sky fall? No. Does it suck? Yes. But many things in life will and do.

Don't let your insensitive  hubby or your MIL steal your sunshine. Don't give it to them.

LOL You are right.... I need to calm down. Normally I don't let things like this get to me but man, I am feeling very emotional these past two days or so. Yikes!!

I think the whole thing with my mom telling the friend really bugged me because there's a lot more going on then I wrote.  I was trying to formulate it in my mind before putting it to .... well, I would say paper but I guess it's more.... key stroke?  

So yeah, you're right. It doesn't matter.  So they know.... oh well!!!  Ok, thanks Nik for the reality check.  LOL 

Ginger

Love it!!  I wish this site had a "like" button.  LOLOL  =)

 I understand and sympathize with your situation. I'm still waiting for my date as I have to go through the six months of nutritional education and supervision, but I had discussed with my wife and family how I wanted to keep this on the down low for now as it seemed to me to be a private decision and I was just getting comfortable with the whole idea of having WLS. It wasn't two weeks before my wife shared with her mom about the decision I had made to have WLS and that I had gone to the info meeting, blah, blah, blah. It was really hard to take at the time, but I understand now she just was sharing something she was excited about with her family. I wish she wouldn't have and let me tell my own story, but she is in this with me and is super supportive in every other aspect. I told her how I felt and she apologize and we've moved on from it. I'm sorry about your situation as I totally understand how private and personal this decision can be. Best to you in the future!

I know exactly how you feel. The decision to tell or not to tell is totally up to you. I feel your pain in many ways because my mom feels it's ok to tell my family because their family but I don't see it that way. It's my decision to let people know, family or not. Keep your head up and I'm sure this will pass.

Oh WOW! I COMPLETELY know how you feel, because my stinkin' mother did the same thing!! I believe she did it because she doesn't know how to keep her mouth shut and is a... oh how do you say... gossip *****! LOL And as for your husband... he needs to be slapped!

Keep your chin up!

I completely understand! I just posted a similar post...i think if you decide to tell anyone it should be your decision. Having that taken frm you sucks...we are all going through enough physically and emotionally...definately don't need those who don't understand what we are going thrugh to be judgemental...

You are right it is YOUR decision.  Now that they do know though what can you do?  Yes get angry and upset then move on.  Focus on YOU right now.

Your emotions are going to be everywhere for a while, every.little.thing may make you angry or bawl in tears as your body releases the hormones.  I bet this is amplifying how you feel currently.

Take a deep breathe.

It could be worse. I told my boss and she told the ENTIRE COMPANY. 350 people now know my personal business. People I have NEVER met before come up to me or email me and ask me how much weight I've lost and what I eat every day.

At least some of the people that were told without your consent live far away.

Keep your head up.