Random Poll o' the Week: A Radical New Experiment...

Sigh...it truly does suck.

I've been investing some serious time trying to define ME lately. I bottomed out at one of the highest weights of any regular poster here that came on when I did. That was a tough pill to swallow. It took time and a lot of acceptance to realize that a) this wasn't necessarily my "fault" b) it isn't a sign of anything I did wrong and c) it doesn't make me any less of anything than anyone else here. My body is different.

A few weeks ago I messaged Shari about this on FB. She asked if I yo-yo dieted in my former life and suggested that might have screwed up my metabolism. I can wholeheartedly say (and this will probably make folks who jumped through hoops to get this surgery mad but whatever) my first attempt to lose weight was gastric bypass surgery. I'd taken to eating healthy for a day, maybe two, in the past but nothing that was enough to radically shift my weight or metabolism.

So basically, my body wants to be the size that it is and there is nothing I can do about it. But these days I'm not in the mind frame that it is "unfair." I have achieved everything I set out to achieve and more. So basically, like my aversion to committed relationships (which frustrates the hell out of the very good man to whom I currently refuse to commit), I just need to get with the friggin program!

Anyway, now I am rambling...but I just wanted you to know I had no ill intent and you've said you realize that so all is well.

Lora,

All I want to say is that I HOPE I'm maintaining at four years out...just sayin : )

I'd bet money on it, my dear! 

Lora

I don't know about you, but to me the hardest part has been the maintainance. Within the first year I was at goal, but after almost seven years it is like I never had the surgery in some ways. I still have the vitamin absorbing issue and I still get the dumps, but I also can gain very easily and it is hard to lose. Some of it is getting older, but your success is being able to keep those steady numbers without too much effort. I am getting tired of always working to get back to my goal.

Alicia

Yes, I agree... although maintenance does not include the post-op emotional rollercoaster, maintenance is definitely harder than losing (as much as ealy post-ops might not want to believe it).  A lot of people are not told by their surgeons that actually HAVING the surgery can permanently alter your metabolism because of the drastic calorie reduction during the first 6-9 months or so... so there is a reason that, for many poeple (especially those who dieted a lot in the years before surgery and already had a wonky metablism),  that it is easier to gain and harder to lose in post-op maintenance mode.

Yes, I do recognize that success is (or should) largely be measured b y being able to maintain the weight, and I am proud that I have been able to do that without being able to exercise much (that does mean, though, that my caloric intake has to stay around 1400 in order not to get the weight creep (1600-1700 is a more "natural" caloric intake for me, so I do ahve to be mindful in order to keep it down).  When the creep gets to 5 pounds, I have to buckle down and seriously limit the carbs to get that 5 pounds off (I have had to do that about once a year).  There is just a part of me that (when I am HERE at OH) feels like, even though I did everything I could, I somehow "failed" because I did not get to a single digit size.

It sounds like, 7 years later, you are still committed to making it "work".  I think it is important for the newbies to know that it isdefinitely possible, but that it isn't easy and you DO have to stay diligent abotu what you eat...

Lora

Lora,

I almost didn't post because of this.  I didn't post as a competition by any means.  I wanted to show the new post-ops that even further out maintaining a weight is possible.  There are way to many variables as to what each of us weighs that I don't compare myself to others and I hope others wouldn't compare themselves to me.

IDK why one person gets to or below what they expected and the next person loses put feels out-of-sorts because what they "expected" doesn't happen.

I hope you can reconcile in your mind that you are a success and have done amazingly well, not only during the losing phase but being further out and able to maintain.

Part of the reason that I feel the way I do now is because before I had surgery, the people I was exposed to who had already had the surgery were ALL people who ended up as skinny little things in single-digt sizes... so, even though I knew that I would always have big boobs and muscular thighs (I have ALWAYS had these... since I was about 9, anyway... even before I was fat), I allowed myself to think that I could expect that, too.  Ok, so I knew that I might have to settle for being a size 6 or 8 (in order accommodate said boobs and thighs) instead of being a zero or a 2... but SURELY I could be an 8 if I did everything I was supposed to do, right?  

WRONG.  Completely wrong.  Like Nik, I followed all the rules... I even did further damage to my bad knee in a "balls to the wall" effort 2 years ago to half starve myself and work out 4 - 5 days as week at a level far beyond what my severely arthritic knee could endure to drop another 10 pounds beyond my goal weight so that MAYBE I could have ONE item in my closet that was a size 8.  All I succeeded in doing was dropping my body fat by 3% (good) and further irritating my knee so that now even mdoerate exercise isn;t possible most of the time (bad, very bad).  I still was wearing 10s and 12s (and a couple of size 14 blouses/dresses).  This is the size my body wants to be.  I can maintain it without much exercise (fortunately!) and with only being moderately watchful about what I eat.  If I had expected to be this size, I would probably be fine with it.  But I really believed that maybe I could be a "success" and be a single-digit size.  I cannot.  SO... I try very hard to re-define success in my head.  I can rejoice in being 25% body fat (even with my DDD boobs!), but it still is very painful to feel like a failure because I didn't get to the size that so many of you got to.

Lora

I'd like to know my body fat %, my guess is that it isn't as good as yours even if I do weigh less.  I am not an exerciser, I cannot claim exercise as a reason for my size.  I just cannot commit to exercises, no excuse there are NONE I just don't do it.

I've seen a picture or two of you (one at an OH function) and I think you look very good at your size.  Anyway, the sizes are really skewed anyway, I can wear anywhere from a 14 kids size to a size 10 in a dress.  I really don't care about sizes too much just seeing the variances in my closet shows how jacked up sizes are.

BTW, how tall are you and what is your body frame size.  I'm short (5'1" stretching) and have very very petite body structure (I swore I was big boned before WLS).

I'm about 5' 3.5" and have a mixed frame.  My upper body is average but I have larger hip and leg bones.  Not sure they would qualify as officially "large", but they are significantly larger than those in my arms and shoulders.

Lora

Lora,

Yuo have done an amazing job and after 4 years should be really proud of what you have done.  As a bonus just thing about the Women who get to single digits and lose theirs boobies.  Now totally from aguys point BOOBIES ROCK!