Surgery in 11 days and he leaves now?

So my marriage has been in trouble for a LONG time.  No denying that one.  A few weeks ago we were discussing divorce and he says "I just know that in 2 years I'm gonna be looking at you thinking to myself 'Damn, I should have been nicer to her'"  Seriously.... who says that crap?  He swears he didn't mean it "that way" but I have a hard time seeing any other way around how he could have possibly meant it. 

Since then things calmed down a bit and we've been getting along a BIT better.... until his ex-con brother in law decided to come visit last week.... the brother in law was incredibly rude and was asked to leave (primarily by me) and my husband took him down to Miami to be with their mother until his visit was over.  Today we had a knock down, drag out argument and he says, "I think things will get better in a few weeks" and I asked why he thought that and he says "Well because you'll have your surgery.  You have such low self esteem now." 

Surely this man doesn't see MY WEIGHT as the ONLY reason our marriage is failing.  Anyway... he left.  He decided to take a short trip to Miami to go spend time with his mom and brother.  So I guess I'm on my own for awhile.  I have my final appointment tomorrow for clearance for surgery and then surgery is the 21st.  I'm currently on day 4 of my pre-op liquid diet and I am PROUD of myself.  I'm not giving in to food urges like I want to soooo badly.  Nope, this surgery is for me and I will NOT ruin it whatsoever for anyone!

Good thing my mom decided at the last minute to come and spend 2 weeks with me to help me out during surgery and recovery.  Looks like she's going to be my support system. 

Nice isnt it?  I realize we aren't getting along but I still kinda relied on him for support and to watch the 5 kids while I was going through this. 

Just needed to vent I guess,
Ginger

 No matter how things work out, this is a solo journey. You're doing it for yourself.
Now you won't have to deal with him and you can focus on you.
Good luck.

Agreed and thank you.

HUGS....I wish I had something to say.  I'm glad your mom is going to be there to help you out.  I know it's not the same as having a real life support group but this message board is here too so don't forget to use it! :-)  I'm going to be on here quite a bit I know - my surgery is this Wednesday and I will definitely be reading and asking a ton of questions. 

We are ALL here for you.  I hope things work out with your husband too.  Most of all, remember this surgery is for YOU.  Everyone I've talked to says it has made the biggest difference in their lives...physical of course, but their self esteem and cofidence levels are bigger and better than ever.

Thank you for your kind words.  I do appreciate them.  It's been nice these last few days not to have the tension he brings to the house.  LOL  I'm still looking forward to surgery on the 21st! Good luck in your surgery on Wednesday and your recovery! Hope its quick and relatively painless for you! :) 

Ginger

I like your husband's first comment.  He is absolutely correct.  He is going to be kicking the mess out of himself in two years for the stupid things he is saying and doing right now.  Boy he really is an honest man and you have to respect that one.  He is responding in an unsupportive manner and he knows it is going to bite him in the butt later.

Now as for leaving you alone with the kids.  This is wrong on so many levels.  Wrong most importantly because just like you need support through this process, so do the children.

I will not say that I feel sorry for you, because clearly you are working through things in the right mindset.  What I will say is that I feel sorry for him.  He is missing out on the beauty of the transformation of an epochal time in your life.

You are in my prayers.

I agree it is awful to leave the kids without a support system through this process but hopefully my mom will be able to bring some comfort and they'll do ok.  We're close so we have talked about a lot of different things.  I think they're pretty ready for this too.  They're cheering me on.  :) 

Thanks for your comments.  I appreciated them.

Ginger

Ginger, Stand tall, continue to take pride in the steps you are taking to improve EVERYTHING about yourself :-)  You are setting a great example for your kids by taking these giant leaps to get healthy.  Keep your eye on the prize, a happier, healthier you!!!  Time will tell if your husband is worth the trouble!  Hang in there follow your gut, no pun intended.  Mine never steers me wrong.  Pray and ask for strength and direction.  Arms around, Susan

Thank you.  I am so proud of myself for having come this far.  This hasnt been an easy process and I've stuck with it and hung in there.  I've lost a total of 33 lbs pre-op and I'm excited about that.  I'm so looking forward to losing a LOT more.  I'm ready.  With or without him, I'm ready.

Thanks for your kind words,
Ginger

Well, at least you're seeing his true colors now! Hang in there and I'm glad your Mom can come support you! It is a solo journey, yes, but sometimes you just need someone to vent to! (and someone to baby you a bit after surgery's good too! LOL) We're here on OH if you need us! You CAN do it!!!