Small Panic Attack (Pre-op)

So I've been at this 11 months now.  I finally get approved and I have my surgery date of 7/21.  I started my 2 week pre-op liquid diet and everything is cruising along yesterday when all of a sudden I have the TV on and a commercial comes on.  It's a commercial of a mom making chicken for dinner for her family. I don't know what happened to me or what came over me but I slightly freaked out.

I started thinking "I can do this on my own" and "I don't care if I'm 300lbs" and "I just want to eat normally" ..... a ton of other craziness going on in that big ol' head of mine.  I was freaking out.  A small panic attack.  I got a grip and talked myself down but man, I wasn't ready for that!! 

I have a lot going on in my life right now... in addition to my surgery in 2 weeks, my husbands job isn't secure..... I have 5 kids under the age of 16.... my husband and I are in a very rocky place in our marriage, bordering on divorce.... my husbands excon brother decided now was a good time to visit and when he did he caused a TON of drama to which my husband didn't believe me and thought it was all my fault ...... my mom is now coming out for my surgery and I'm worried her and my husband won't get along now that she knows we're having trouble.  I could go on and on.  I am STRESSED.  

Anyone else have the freak out period when they realize this is about to happen? 

Ginger

P.S. I do realize if I could do this on my own, I would have by now. LOL 

Spy, you are so not alone!! I am preop as well and my date is 7/26/2011.  I am 439 pounds and I have been big my entire life.  Although I know that this surgery is in no way a cop out, I feel like I am cheating a little bit because of the outside stressors and influences that you cannot help but hear about.  I am too in a rocky place in my relationship because of things out of my control.  Fortunately, there are no children involved.  I too have had a couple of the "Freak out" moments where I think I should just cancel surgery and either give up and stay fat or try yet another terrible diet that eventually I will fail at.  Then I realize that I am truly not living, I am existing and "getting by day to day".  I want to participate in my life and I want to be excited to see what each new day will bring when I am at a healthy weight and I realize that will NEVER happen if I don't go through with this procedure.  What I do when I have those freak out moments is focus on the future to come and all the amazing things that will come with the weight loss and the health gain!!  I wish you all the luck in the world and I am sending you all the positive vibes I can!! 

Hey Sky, I've been on this liquid yuk for 5 days now, my surgery is 7/18.  I have been very sick on this liquid diet and got to the point on Thursday, where I had to consider they possibility that I wasn't going to be able to keep up the liquids!  Finally I calmed myself down and called my nutritionist.  She and the nurse at the Bariatric Center put there heads together and came up with a plan allowing me to mix my protein powder with unsweetened vanilla flavored Almond Milk.  On top of that I discovered that it was Every Time I had the Vanilla Powder that I was the sickest.  Turns out my son who is also lactose intolerent and uses this product also gets sick from the vanilla!!!  (he uses it after weight lifting) So now I am feeling much better, have lost 9 lbs in 4 days and I AM STRONG ENOUGH TO GET THROUGH THIS!!!!  So Girlfriend, you are not alone in your panic ;-)  Hang Tough, We Deserve this Chance!!!  Arms around, Susan

Ginger, first take a deep breath sweetie.  It's going to be ok.  You are experiencing the "Two Week Freak"   This (IMHO) is the toughest part of all.  You are basically eating very little, going through carb withdrawl and getting ready for a major surgery.  I think the fear of the unknown is the worst.  Your mom is coming to help you and I think you'll be happy she did.  I have kids, too.  My mom drove 8 hours by herself to help me and she was a godsend!  She did my laundry, made the kids meals.   It's a great relief to have someone there to help..........whatever should come up....you are not alone. 

As far as the family drama, they are going to have to act like adults and get along.  You will be in no shape to referee, lol.  Please, try not to stress (easier said than done).

Remember, you have LOTS of support here on OH.  If you feel overwhelmed or have questions, the people on here are amazing!  You will get lots of responses to anything you post.

This is quite the ride.  I wish I'd done this years ago.  We'll make room for you on the losers bench!  You'll do great!

Sky,

What you are going through is so normal, despite the added family pressure.   I had my surgery on June 30,2011 and had trepidations/fear until they gave me that feel good medicine before rolling my into surgery.  All of the doctors/staff and UNC medical center assured me that it is quite normal and they wouldn't expect otherwise, in fact they stated that question people who say they don't have any fears.....  you are having major surgery and it is hard for many of us to realize that it is something we truly need,  because many of us look at it as elective surgery.....  I chose to look at it as REQUIRED surgery.   Required, in hopes that I will be here to see my grandkids...  Required, in order to prevent many fatal diseases.  Required, so I truly be who I am and not what others want me to be.  I could go on and on...  but when society starts looking as Obesity as a disease and not as something we have done to ourselves, it will be much easier for those who are considering surgery to deal with it.  Much like if you needed surgery to amputate a limb, because of diabetes... it will be something that just had to be done. 

I was so nervous all throught this process, but I made up in mind that it HAD to be done, due to being sick with obesity.  Then I picked two personal goals that resonated with my heart and I was very selfish withy goals and everytime fear raised it ugly head, I thought about my heartfelt goals.  One more thing....during this process my pulse and blood pressure would be off the roof, but sitting hear today, I am so glad that I didn't give into fear and lose this God given opportunity, but allowing fear to override my higher self.

Some where inside YOU KNEW that surgery would be the best for you... don't lose that and this time do what is best for YOU and don't let ANYTHING get in the way of that!

Sending out Strength, Love, but most of All Determination!  Can't wait to chat with you at the beginning of August...  I can almost guarantee that you will have a different outlook!

Evelyn

I freaked out right up until the moment I went into the Operating Room!  I was a basket case.  It is totally normal to freak out.  This is a big step in your life, especially with all the other stuff you have going on.   That's why it's good to be here on OH and read the posts and write about whatever you're feeling so that you will see that you're not alone.   All the best to you!  We're right here with ya!