Tough love time...and many of you won't like me after reading this

This is the aspect that I find frustrating... the "tell me it's ok for me to not follow the rules because it's just too hard".  When you signed up for surgery, you signed up for hard (or was the "it's not the easy way out" just lip service to convince other people that you are not taking a shrot cut?). You said you would do anything to get the weight off and be a normal size... and now are giving up after only a few weeks...?  Really?!?

Yes, it's hard, but it was hard for all of us (some more than others, admittedly) and it will get easier.

Lora

  YES!

Well said, as always, Nik!

Great post!!!

Amen.  You are so good with words.

Could never hate you for that post. As a matter of fact, even though I am still somewhat of a newbie in comparison to many of the vets... I find myself getting frustrated with my fellow newbies. Not because they have questions, need educating, or need to vent. Lord knows we all have questions. But sometimes you almost get the impression that no one reads previous posts or talks to their doctors and nutritionists first (or at all), or reads books or attends support group. I think you DEFINITELY put into words most of what I feel daily when i read posts at the forum. I am not as good at expressing my opinions, which is one reason that I do a lot of prefacing when I actually decide to give an opinion or vent my own feelings. So even though you don't seem like the type of woman who needs affirmation of her posts... I am still going to say it, "Good Job". 

Self-empowerment is such a simple yet complex concept, and if you aren't there, the phrase itself seems contradictory. (How can I just empower myself.  Doesn't power have to be given to me by someone who already has it?)

One of my favorite expressions:
"If you don't chew your food, who will?"

A close friend and former roommate used to shut down my pity parties if they were getting tedious by calmly asking, "Bueno, y quien es la interesada?"
(Roughly, "Well, who has the most at stake here?")

Uuhh... yeah, that would be me.

The message was that the person with the most at stake is the person who should be the most actively involved in whatever project - beginning, middle, and end. My surgeon isn't going to develop ulcers, my kids aren't going to drink those protein shakes, my nut isn't going to get anemic  or experience muscle wasting... the person with the most at stake here is me.  So realistically, it's on me to be active in my own care, to ask, to Google and research, to inject my B12, monitor my eating and climb on that cold, cruel stairmaster even when I reeeeally don't want to.  And if I don't, that's on me too. My choice, not something that happened to me.

In the end, whether it feels cozy or not, "love" is at the core of tough love. Including loving ourselves by doing hard things that we don't enjoy. Starting with researching and planning WLS, and continuing for the rest of our lives.

Nice post, Nik.

 Success is what is success does! No room for whining in my life about whatever I am not happy about or do not like. I am a survivor and a realist. If I want to accomplish my goals, I need to put in the effort PERIOD. 

Nik speaks the truth!!!!! I so respect you for that!!!! It IS work I work at this EVERYDAY!!!!!!

Yea, whatever. 

Nik - you couldn't have said it any better.  Many times, people need to be whacked upside the head instead of having things sugar coated for them.

I am a newbie (surgery on 05/24/11), but I researched weight loss surgery to death.  I started in 2007, went through all my insurance classes and realized that I wasn't ready for this.  In 2010, I knew I was ready.

I have gained a lot of insight from this board.  What amazes me are the people who have no idea what they're getting into or ask why do I have to follow a diet/attend classes.  Have they ever stopped to think that the diet/classes are getting them ready for the rest of their life?

Keep the words coming.  I definitely learn and benefit from them!

I just