This is an open letter. It’s not addressed to anyone in particular but it is a sentiment I have long felt.

 

FURTHER OUTS: This is not an open invitation for a newbie *****ing session. Newbies have a lot of struggles to face in learning this process and while we may find repetitive questions and lack of empowerment annoying, we’d do well to remember we once walked in their shoes and did the same things.

 

Having said that, it often captures my attention that some of you (and by you I mean relatively new folks) will preach the gospel that this surgery isn’t the easy way out. You say this to your families and use it as an affirmation that you are doing the right thing.

 

Then you seem truly surprised by how hard the process is.

 

Ok, granted there are some things that take us all by surprise, but just in case nobody has said it to you before: this process can be hard. Really hard.

 

You may hate protein shakes, even the ones you loved before surgery. You may hate all food or anything that you have to orally ingest. As my wonderful surviving grandma always says, “tough titties and I’d hate to have to suck ‘em." You still have to eat. You still have to get your fluids you still have take your vitamins. Yes, you have to. No, you don’t have a choice, unless you consider ill health and possibly death a valid choice.

 

There’s nothing wrong with talking about the struggle. There’s nothing wrong with feeling whatever you’re feeling about how hard this is but this is what it all boils down to: this is your HEALTH. After you’ve felt your feelings and vented and lamented over why you did this, the fact is that you DID do this and now you need to figure it all out. You don’t get to be lost and confused but so long without it having serious implications on your health.

 

You may hate taking vitamins. You may have resentment issues about having taken so many meds for so long and now vitamins??? Or, like me, you could be a person who never had to take a pill before and now hate that part of your life. Tough. It’s a part of this lifestyle. You knew that when you signed up and now you have to do it.

 

You may exercising. While it certainly isn’t a mandatory part of this process, it does increase the likelihood that a) you’ll lose the most weight possible in the end b) you like the body you end up with and c) that you’ll have holistic health along with the other benefits of your surgery. So if you want the end result you  need to do the work.

 

There are many more examples. I’m not saying don’t complain. I’m not saying don’t express your feelings. So you…newbie who is thinking of posting a smart ass reply to this, save it.

What I am saying is that you need to be EMPOWERED to take control of this situation. Your pouch doesn’t have the control. Your surgeon, your nutritionist they don’t have the control. YOU have the control. YOU drive the ship. If you end up with poor health, poor quality of life, poor mental health, it is a result of the decisions YOU made for YOURSELF.

 

I want you all to be happy and healthy. Do what you need to do to get there. As long as you are walking the path — even if you are taking baby steps — you are moving forward.

That is all.

Well said!!!

Amen and well said!!!

 I'm not sure who would stop liking you after that, or why you'd consider this "tough love"? To me is sounded like sage advice.

Nothing to be mad at. I agree with this 100% and I have a long way to go for complete compliance, but I am getting there. As a "newbie" I am fairly realistic about the changes required and the results I will see based on my actions.

My biggest head shaker is how some people will let a surgeon cut them open and rearrange their insides without having an answer to any and all of their questions pre-op. I know things happen and surprises pop up, but something as simple as a nutritional plan (food, fluids and vits) needs to be your first and bigest question as a pre-op.

That is something I don't understnad either. Someone is going to slice you open and re-route your insides and you know nothing about post-op nutrition, side effects, and just basic overall must-knows.

I am 16 and have studied and researched all aspects of this procedure probably more that I have for my high school finals. I am still collecting information. No one is going to re-route my insides without me knowing what is going on.

Thanks, Nik.  I needed this.  I needed to be reminded this is a hard journey but I knew that going in.  I guess I didn't realize just how hard!  I'm moving forward and that's the important thing.  Not as fast as I'd like, but as long as I'm moving forward. 

I always read all of your posts.  All great posts.  I think you have so many insights for us newbs.

I think what happens is that people need a place to just vent, or just get stuff off their chest, and what a great place to do it but here?  as a matter -o fact, any Internet forum is a good place.  Its so anonymous, and I think a lot of us are looking for some type of acceptance, even in the bad or confused times.

Im not on here every day, but sometimes I notice the same message (but worded differently) multiple times a day.  People tend to think that their situation is somehow different or more urgent, or even more special than the person who just posted it 5 minutes ago, and instead of just reading past posts, they post their own message to gain acceptance or reassurance.  Everyone likes to be accepted right?

Edited to add:
No offense to anyone here, but I always call my surgeons office first for any food / vitamin / wierd event and or pill questions... I only use these forums for a "second opinion" if you can call it that.

What I am saying is that you need to be EMPOWERED to take control of this situation. Your pouch doesn’t have the control. Your surgeon, your nutritionist they don’t have the control. YOU have the control. YOU drive the ship. If you end up with poor health, poor quality of life, poor mental health, it is a result of the decisions YOU made for YOURSELF.

Amen.  Preach it Sister!  You are absolutely, 100% right on.  The blame game only gets you so far - and if you really want to get healthier and correct missteps you 've got to get off the computer and get out there and LIVE.

Protein, vites and exercise are all just part of the equation.  And I think most WLS patient are informed of that going in.  I know I was, ad nauseum.

Great post (again) Nik!