"You'll probably never get married..." (men's thoughts?)
"Even though you've lost the weight, you'll probably never get married because NO man wants to compete with your brain. It will be worse once you finish your PhD."
Not sure exactly how I feel about this.... other than sad.
Mostly wondering how true people (especially the men here) think it is... and wondering if it changes when the men and women involved are in their 40s/50s...
Two of the three men I dated seriously were engineers, and the man I lost to a drunk driver 10 years ago was a psychologist. None of them seemed intimidated, but two of those three relationships were when I was in my 20s and early 30s.
Lora
Not sure exactly how I feel about this.... other than sad.
Mostly wondering how true people (especially the men here) think it is... and wondering if it changes when the men and women involved are in their 40s/50s...
Two of the three men I dated seriously were engineers, and the man I lost to a drunk driver 10 years ago was a psychologist. None of them seemed intimidated, but two of those three relationships were when I was in my 20s and early 30s.
Lora
14 years out; 190 pounds lost, 165 pound loss maintained
You don't drown by falling in the water. You drown by staying there.
Lora,
Just be yourself. Your personality shows in what you write. Any man that is intimidated by someone elses brain (man or woman) is too insecure to consider. I think as we get older, we begin to see more of the whole person and less of the purely physical nature.
I hope things work out for you. Whomever it is will be a lucky man.
Good Luck
Steve
Just be yourself. Your personality shows in what you write. Any man that is intimidated by someone elses brain (man or woman) is too insecure to consider. I think as we get older, we begin to see more of the whole person and less of the purely physical nature.
I hope things work out for you. Whomever it is will be a lucky man.
Good Luck
Steve
I am only 16 ,but I think NO REAL MAN is afraid of a smart woman. Those who are are typically not satisfied with who and what they are. Anyone that wants to be with you should be able to accept you and all the light that follows you. Your qualities should be a compliment and an inspiration to whoever you choose to be with and vice versa.
^^^^^^^^^^^TOLD MY DAD I LISTEN TO HIM....LOL
^^^^^^^^^^^TOLD MY DAD I LISTEN TO HIM....LOL
not true.. unless you turn into a "know-it-all" ***** which I think not!!!
You may have to look for one that not only has brains but is kind and has personality..
I know that my guy is not intimidated by me... I do not have PhD but I think I am quite smart... and I know that some men can be intimidated. But then - I would not be interested in them in a first place.
My BF is an engineer, he is smart and very talented in what he does... and as i am impressed with him... he is with me (so he tells me). We are in our 40's...
Some men, who are insecure, want to make sure that they are smarter than their woman. The really smart ones - do love smart women... just saying...
Unfortunately... I am only attracted to really smart ones (and he had to have other qualities) so it was more of me being picky in choosing a guy... that the other way around. I never had a problem attracting a guy.. just if they were not smart enough - I would lose interest after 1-2 dates and could not imagine to have a relationship with someone like that... in this case - it was more "me and my brain" than "them".
You may have to look for one that not only has brains but is kind and has personality..
I know that my guy is not intimidated by me... I do not have PhD but I think I am quite smart... and I know that some men can be intimidated. But then - I would not be interested in them in a first place.
My BF is an engineer, he is smart and very talented in what he does... and as i am impressed with him... he is with me (so he tells me). We are in our 40's...
Some men, who are insecure, want to make sure that they are smarter than their woman. The really smart ones - do love smart women... just saying...
Unfortunately... I am only attracted to really smart ones (and he had to have other qualities) so it was more of me being picky in choosing a guy... that the other way around. I never had a problem attracting a guy.. just if they were not smart enough - I would lose interest after 1-2 dates and could not imagine to have a relationship with someone like that... in this case - it was more "me and my brain" than "them".
Hala. RNY 5/14/2008; Happy At Goal =HAG
"I can eat or do anything I want to - as long as I am willing to deal with the consequences"
"Failure is not falling down, It is not getting up once you fell... So pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and start all over again...."
I agree with what everyone else has said. Don't listen to the fool who told you men would be intimidated! Any man worth having will see your worth! Arms around, Susan
I disagree,.... I've encountered strong intelligent men in this world that not only are able to keep up with an intelligent ambitious woman but admire and are fiercely attracted to such a woman at 350 or 130 lbs. As a psychotherapist, I am well aware of my tendency to be intimating but its all perception and know I will find someone who will be blessed to have me in their life. And from what I have observed about you over the past few months of my OH life, I would say the same thing! Take it as a compliement that the person who will connect with you will be a wise one and will know a fabulous person when he meets you!
I was single for several years after a divorce. At that time I was in a PhD program.
One man that I dated remarked, "Well you're ambitious, aren't you?" He did NOT mean this as a compliment.
When I met my current husband (in my 40's) I was deep into that program - he has a professional career in business but does not have a college degree. He was not the least bit intimidated by my "ambition" or my career and educational goals. In fact, he is my greatest cheerleader in all aspects of life.
Men who are intimidated are just too insecure and high maintenance to deal with. By the 40's we all have some baggage from just living life, but we deserve to surround ourselves with relationships that build us up and bring out the best in us!
One man that I dated remarked, "Well you're ambitious, aren't you?" He did NOT mean this as a compliment.
When I met my current husband (in my 40's) I was deep into that program - he has a professional career in business but does not have a college degree. He was not the least bit intimidated by my "ambition" or my career and educational goals. In fact, he is my greatest cheerleader in all aspects of life.
Men who are intimidated are just too insecure and high maintenance to deal with. By the 40's we all have some baggage from just living life, but we deserve to surround ourselves with relationships that build us up and bring out the best in us!
hahahahaha! Sorry but, as a doctor, this one made me laugh! Sounds to me like the person who told you this is the intimidated one! Don't worry about it Lora! You're a wonderful person and brilliant in more ways than one! Let your light shine on and the right man for you will come along.....
Sometimes even to live is an act of courage. ~Lucius Annaeus Seneca, Letters to Lucilius
I don't know what their problem is, but they're completely wrong. I have a PhD and all the guys I've been with have LOVED that I'm smart. They've been very proud of me.
Let's put it this way, the guys you're going to want to go out with, spend your time with, and share your life with are going to be smart. After all you're smart, and I can't see you wanting to be with someone who isn't your intellectual equal (and in my book that doesn't necessarily mean lots of fancy degrees, but an open mind and a love of learning) They'll respect a smart woman who has worked hard to achieve her goals.
And I know you're looking for responses from men, but I just had to throw my two cents in there!
Let's put it this way, the guys you're going to want to go out with, spend your time with, and share your life with are going to be smart. After all you're smart, and I can't see you wanting to be with someone who isn't your intellectual equal (and in my book that doesn't necessarily mean lots of fancy degrees, but an open mind and a love of learning) They'll respect a smart woman who has worked hard to achieve her goals.
And I know you're looking for responses from men, but I just had to throw my two cents in there!
HW: 270/ CW: 139.0/ GW: 135
40 lbs lost prior to surgery
RNY surgery date: 1-19-11
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Have you found it challenging to stick to your diet during the holidays?
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Will I need to attend any pre-operative counseling or support groups?
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