Newbies be warned: much of your will power is anatomically driven

I don’t want to sound like a downer. I really don’t. But here’s what I see. I see a lot of you swearing off things “FOREVER." And it’s great that you’re so committed to a healthy life.

I just worry about the sustainability of it all.

 

Much of your newfound resistance to the foods you used to love is anatomical. Your  So for many of you, depending on how your body reacts to the decreased amount of those hormones, may be anatomically incapable of feeling the same cravings you used to feel. Things seem sickeningly sweet or your favorite salty snack just doesn’t taste as good.

 

At three years out I’ve seen two things happen in the long-er term. One is that some folks just sort of teach themselves how not to love those foods that got them in trouble. Some don’t buy them and for some the memory of being fat is enough to keep them away. But a larger percent of people DO get their cravings back, especially when their body has figured out how to compensate for what you did to it.

 

So that brings us back to those proclamations you made. I’m not pointing this out as an annoyance (although as I fast become a WLS “vet" I do admit to rolling my eyes from time to time), but because those proclamations feel like failure if your cravings DO come back. And it feels like you don’t have will power. That you’re losing control. That you are on the fast track back to regain.

 

Not so. Your body healed. It was bound to happen eventually.

 

So what’s the solution? Hell if I know. These days I eat sweet things (could not stand sweets my first 18 mos. or so) but I modify them to make them more WLS friendly. From time to time I take a few bites of a regular dessert, I’m not going to lie.

But this is one of the most important lessons I’ve learned. I say it over and over again and I’ll keep saying it: the stories we tell ourselves about ourselves are important. So if you are thinking of publicly swearing off carbs forever, you might want to think about that. Because the moment you deviate, fall off the wagon, whatever, what story will you tell yourself about yourself? Will you say that you failed? That you embarrassed yourself? That you are incapable of change? That may not be true.

And worse yet, will that public proclamation, and your feelings after having "caved" prevent you from taking accountability for your actions? That's not good either.

Stuff to think about.

Love your posts Nik... They really do help me keep all my challenges in check and in reality. I never overlook your posts as they give me inspiration.
Thank you,
Jamie

Great message Nik!  I too cringe when I see those proclamations, or I read about how "everything in the world" can be made with a protein powder and flavoring replacement.....

At a wee bit over 2 years out and in maintenance for 15 months, I knew the day would come when I'd try the things that I loved.  It was inevitable.  So my thinking was different--I decided that if thin people can have those things then I could too-- I just have to live like a thin person.  And that is what I do-- I have what I want within reason, and if I overdo it, I up the cardio.  So far, so good, and I DO NOT DIET, NOR DO I EVER FEEL GUILT ABOUT ANY FOOD. 

I really did completely change my relationship with food and how I think about it.  That coupled with a regular intense exercise program should keep me in line and at goal....and if it doesn't, I'll tweak what I'm doing until I find the right recipe.

Kim

Exactly what I was going to say (except the exercise part, LOL) so thanks for saving me the typing...

I also discovered over the past 4 years that I am much happier eating a very small portion of something "real" than a larger portion of a "subsitute" version that is only marginally tasty.  So I eat the small portion of the real stuff.

Lora

Just had my sons 2 yr bday party Sunday and my best friends mom came and she is 2 years post op and she ate a cupcake that I made.  I was like whaaaaaaat.  lol  But she said she rarely does that.  Cupcakes and Cake were my weakness pre op, I ate a lot of em so I really dont want to ever even take one bite in fear of going back to that.

Oh I understand how you feel too.

What I've come to learn (and this took a LOT of therapy) is that food is not in control. I am. So if I take a bite, I have a choice. I can keep biting or I can stop. If I feel like I'm not in the mood to stop when I should, I don't go there at all. If I feel like I can, I do indulge. Much of the time I choose strategies that MAKE me moderate, like getting one small dessert and splitting it three ways with the divas.

It's scary because it felt like our cravings dominated our lives. I'm thankful that most of the time I can see past that to the bigger picture. Not always, but most of the time ;)

In other words, "don' t get over-confident with your initial success!"

You are so right!

Mmmmmm...not exactly.

I think if I had more confidence in my initial success I wouldn't have had any regain to contend with now (yes, I do know this is an unrealistic thought. I'm still in therapy!!!)

Basically I'm saying you're not invincible even though you feel like you are. So make changes you can live with over the long term and recognize that if cravings come back that it's not a sign of failure. It's normal. It happens.

Well said Nick.  Soooo right. 
My chocie is to not to have food that I "can't control" in my house.  There are some foods that as long as it is in the hosue I would eat. If not today or tomorrow , then in a month or 2.  Once I realize that "the food" has such an effect on me - I simply try not to have any in the house. 
Sometimes it is easier said than done... but it can be done.  

Forever is way too damned long for me.  There are two of us wls folks in the family and we swear off nothing.  If its something I will binge on I don't have it at home.  Its an eat out single serving or to share item.  There are work arounds if you do not choose to eat for sustenance only.   

You really don't need to declare forever.  If you already did feel free to declare that you changed your mind.  Re evaluating and adjusting along the way is not a weakness or a failure.